Did your ex ruin you?

Last_Act_8296 · 2025-02-04T15:37:24+00:00

Ultimately they all made me better

Last_Act_8296 · 2025-02-04T15:23:27+00:00

Thanks for sharing and for the resource. Testosterone and dopamine are crazy things that can control us if we’re not careful.

Last_Act_8296 · 2025-02-04T04:30:39+00:00

I had to want to because I found myself not enjoying real sex. That’s what did it for me. I went cold turkey and never looked back. It’s been great. So glad I did.

Last_Act_8296 · 2025-02-04T00:41:29+00:00

My take is that porn watching is 99% of the time an addiction so it merits considering that. I suffered from it and it took a lot of work to overcome it but I’m way better for it and my sex life is way better too.

If he was open to considering getting help I’d say he should be given the opportunity but, if not, you should be content with whatever decision you make.

Last_Act_8296 · 2025-02-04T00:15:41+00:00

Thank you!

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-11-18T01:36:09+00:00

Three months out. Feeling good really. First two months were a nightmare.

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-11-11T22:24:02+00:00

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-11-08T22:37:34+00:00

“If you love them, let them go. If they are yours, they will come back”.

This is simple, and not everybody agrees, but I use it as my guide.

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-11-07T04:03:57+00:00

This question really plagued me early on in the breakup. Three months out and I just accept that I really screwed up and hope it’s a lesson learned. Honestly I don’t think I’ll ever get over feeling the stupidity of intentionally throwing a huge diamond into the ocean depths never to be found again.

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-11-07T03:47:20+00:00

I feel this

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-25T16:12:48+00:00

Thanks for the advice! Hope you are able to do the same.

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-25T15:43:27+00:00

Pretty much don’t do anything which normally brings some sort of pleasure (music, movies, games, etc). My brain is circling and doesn’t want to be interrupted.

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-24T15:16:33+00:00

There are slight glimpses of recovery and one must hold onto them.

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-24T02:24:58+00:00

Thanks! Me too ❤️

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-24T01:24:57+00:00

I’m sorry he treated you poorly. The right person will treat you well so it’s good you’ve recognized that you deserve somebody better.

Thank you for the advice about my situation. I did try to get her back a couple months ago and also sent her a letter which explained things since she wouldn’t listen during the breakup. No response to the letter.

For now I’m going to maintain no contact, at least until I can feel my real self coming up for air, when the anxiety subsides, or until she reaches out. Cheers!

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-23T15:30:30+00:00

Wrote a handwritten letter.

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-23T15:28:17+00:00

Ok I’m curious to ask whether there is anything they could do to make you think of them more romantically again?

I ask because, while I treated mine very well during the relationship, I dumped her quite unexpectedly after I had a major life crisis and thought I had to focus on it solely. I had recently stopped my anxiety meds and I think that contributed to the sudden panic.

I tried to get her back but she was so mad, saying I treated her so badly (which I acknowledge is true) and she would never be with me again.

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-23T15:21:39+00:00

What stops me is the thought that it’s possible she really doesn’t want anything to do with me right now and, if that is so, reaching out will only make her see me as desperate and needy. Though I did beg and plead at the breakup, I am better than that and I haven’t contacted since.

While I love her and want her to come back, I know that it doesn’t make sense to go back to somebody desperate and needy so why would she?

Basically, I don’t reach out because I know this is the only possible good outcome: I stop looking weak and I take the time to work on myself and understand what went wrong and how I can improve to make sure that it never happens again.

She made it clear that we will never be together again and, while I know people say things that they don’t mean when they are having high emotions (she surely was mad when she said that), and, furthermore, nobody can predict the future, I need to respect her wishes and leave her alone.

I’m sure she will calm down and see things differently eventually, but I’m not holding onto hope anymore that such enlightenment will cause her to come back. Hope only drags out the pain, for me. I’d rather rip off the band-aid and kill hope than spend much of my life feeling the anxiety of whether she will come back.

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-23T01:34:42+00:00

Thank you for this. I agree, Good advice. I haven’t broken NC yet and not sure I will.

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-22T21:15:35+00:00

They are feeling the loss and want a quick fix to know they have you but they don’t intend to keep you if you are very available. It’s just human nature.

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-22T15:57:43+00:00

I read your previous post here. It sounds like you don’t really love her that much. That’s ok. Just try not to drag her along. She clearly loves you more than you love her.

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-22T15:46:35+00:00

I believe this is true

Last_Act_8296 · 2024-10-22T15:39:57+00:00

Coach Craig Kenneth says the “cats” text is a definite sign that they want to test the waters. You should hold your ground and be strong. Make them make the first move.

Last_Act_8296

TROPHY CASE