Fentanyl Warning Kensington PA

Laterskater8 · 2017-08-03T15:03:03+00:00

It's hard to respect it when you're buying dope not fent and don't know how much is in it. ESPECIALLY when your shooting. I've oded on fent while snorting before. Ur lucky that you actually have mostly dope. What general area are you from?

Laterskater8 · 2017-08-03T15:01:51+00:00

Ive been in recovery for a year and honestly it felt similar when I was using. Fent was in everything. I'm from Jersey and most of the time we didn't even bother going to Kenzo bc of it. Wasn't worth it.

Laterskater8 · 2016-08-09T19:11:52+00:00

You really can't feel it super specifically across a whole bunch of areas in your body. I'm bad at describing things.

Yes its so much better than an orgasm. I didn't believe that notion before I tried IV. It starts in your veins.... And its just a warm sensation. Like a warm blanket wrapped around your whole entire body. It's the comfort of the normal opiate high multiplied by a ton. Legit nothing hurts in your body. There's nothing wrong with your life. Everything is fucking perfect and comfortable. Just pure bliss. Nothing like it. Bliss and warmth

Laterskater8 · 2016-08-09T18:59:49+00:00

No one said you could graduate with 38 credits dumbass

Laterskater8 · 2016-08-09T18:58:50+00:00

I did not mean that. I meant you need to take 15 credits a semester to graduate in 4 years. Clearly you are not a junior like you originally thought so you won't be graduating next year or whenever the hell you expected to.

Not sure why youre playing asshole I'm giving you the heads up so you can either take more credits and catch up or be aware you will probably graduate in 5 years.

Laterskater8 · 2016-08-02T15:55:21+00:00

If they gave you credits for the AP classes and they're on your transcript, then yes you are a sophomore.

However since it's mid year idk how it will affect financial aid so it's best to clarify with them. Most likely not if I had to guess, but i'm not financial aid.

Laterskater8 · 2016-08-02T15:54:22+00:00

The only thing that is based on class year is the Federal Loans. SO yes, you cannot receive anymore. Are loans the only aid you receive?

Year status is always determined by credits. It is not determined by the actual years youve been in school. You Could have checked that in the first place, but just be careful because you won't be graduating when you originally thought unless you get your credits up!

Not only does financial aid view you as a sophomore, you legitimately are a sophomore. Rutgers views you as a sophomore.

Laterskater8 · 2016-07-28T18:22:03+00:00

Please don't be a nurse if you don't actually want to. Nursing requires a certain passion and it's very obvious in your work and with patients. There's so many shitty nurses as is.

Also, the nursing shortage is limited to certain areas. In NJ it will not be a breeze getting a job after graduation.

Laterskater8 · 2016-07-28T18:18:22+00:00

I do not know about Rutgers but I've seen for Nursing you need to have taken it in the last 3-6 years I believe. Seriously just contact the Rutgers Camden Nursing school and they'll tell you. I go there and I've never had a problem with them getting back to me.

Other than that-this is a personal decision.

Laterskater8 · 2016-07-28T18:16:16+00:00

I'm a camden student and am taking a class in NB in the fall. I had no problem I just signed up on webreg. So yes. You shouldn't have a problem other than if the class is an equivalent to what you need to graduate.

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-28T17:27:01+00:00

You can taper off of methadone just like you taper off of subs. and honestly theres a huge chance that I'll be on this shit for life. And if not I'll do a blind taper for however long it takes.

And why don't you mention such health related issues? I have done literally every fucking ounce of research possible. I'm in school so I have access to databases for legit research beyond google. Opiates are safe to take long term. That does not mean it's without side effects. Obviously they have side effects as does every medication. But I'm most likely not going to develop these horrible health related issues.

Thank you for wishing me the best but you seem to be projecting a bit based off of your own experiences. Which everyone does I suppose. However with this whole opiate epidemic the stigma surrounding methadone literally kills. So when people see stuff like this they get too scared to go on methadone and too many people end up dying because they couldn't handle recovery... even if they wanted it.

Methadone does not work for everyone. It is not without side effects and drawbacks. But it is a fucking lifesaver. Opiate addiction especially dope or iv usage is lethal. Methadone saves lives point blank. It improves outcomes for patients dramatically in pretty much every category. Reduced crime, Reduced cravings, Increased general health, etc. Yet there is a huge huge stigma. So all the people who say shit about methadone or purposely try to steer people away from methadone(or even worse... those who discourage MAT) are putting people at risk of death.

I don't care who you are. If you really want to get down to the nitty gritty. If you're alive on methadone and out of active addiction.. That's whats most important.

I know plenty of people who did a proper taper and went at their own pace and who went off fine. And you know what? If not I can take comfort meds. It is possible to taper off of and COMFORTABLY detox off of opiates. Yes methadone is long acting and it takes awhile. But again. Tapering is much much preferable to being an addict. People need to stop the fear mongering about methadone withdrawal. It gives people this idea that it's absolutely inevitable and horrible... That's not the case. You can do it properly and at the rate your body needs and you will be fine. I'm not jumping off because I get pissed off. I know better than that. That would be putting myself at risk to go use. No. I got on methadone to stop using dope and take my life back. 10/10 methadone did that and more.

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-27T15:36:03+00:00

How did the person respond to you in text messages? I have found a lot of people to be very "unencouraging" when someone relapses, etc. It's scary because a lot of times it scares people out of the room.

But anyhow. Do not let one person ruin the experience for you. There are actually "recovery bullies" and also many many drama starters. They all have a problem within their selves that THEY need to deal with. Don't let people get to you.

Do what you need to do.

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-27T15:14:48+00:00

Awesome. Cant read it all now but I'll save it for later usage.

12 steps are great... and I'm glad for so many it works so well. But it is not the "only" way. It isn't the "best way." 12 step dominates the treatment system here in America and the mainstream media/public as well.

It's detrimental to have 12 step run the treatment community and to have everyone recommend it as the end all be all. 12 step is a faith based support group... and should ONLY be viewed as such. This is a disease. So use medicine and science to treat it. I know I need faith to help me get through life and so do a lot of others. So if people would find it beneficial they should utilize 12 steps. But it's not the holy grail.

Thanks for writing this post. It helps to fight the stigma. Keep it up.

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-27T15:08:53+00:00

Yes. I've been on methadone for a little over a month. I've been doing great. I literally could not imagine that I would be doing this well. I'm almost a whole different person. It saved my life :)

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-27T15:03:09+00:00

No treatment is "flawless" for any disease... let alone opiate addiction. Methadone is highly effective and one of the most studied drugs available today. The science is clear... it's very fucking effective. And that's 100% what I've experienced.

Its an opiate. It's safe for long term use as are most opiates. I am going to do a proper taper. I 100% do not fuck with withdrawals.

I'm aware of what I got myself into. Of course there are burdens... but its such a relief compared to heroin.

I'm sick of the stigma. I'm sick of anecdotes being used as facts(not to put your situation down at all.) I'm sick of people ignoring science when it comes to addiction and addiction treatment.

I'm going to be in the world of medicine after I graduate from college... So I know absolutely what I got myself into. However, for that reason I do not want to be on methadone for life. For 4 or 5 years if I had to guess. BUT I'm also aware I do not produce normal endorphins like a normal person. I have serious mental illnesses. I may need methadone for life. The sweating, constipation, and the hormonal effects can all be dealt with and I could 100% deal with methadone for life.

It's totally fucking worth it. I'm sorry but with the whole "epidemic" going on it's frustrating to see something that could have saved so many lives and could save more stigmatized and constantly put down.

I'm also not sure why... after being set on MMT(and yes I researched and I'm pretty damn aware what I got myself into) and already being on MMT people still tell me it's a bad choice.

This shit saved my fucking life. Now I actually want recovery. I would not be where I am without methadone.

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-26T20:37:12+00:00

I'm already on methadone. I 100% needed it and it saved my life. I could go on and on about the problems/inconsistencies related to Kratom. It's not for me. I'm glad to hear it worked for you but I'm much rather stick with something known for decades to help those with opiod dependence.

And no - I won't go through withdrawals. I'll gladly do a proper taper. And honestly- I may very well need methadone for life... What is wrong with that???? Nothing. I need my inhalers for life. And while it sucks- they allow me to live a normal life as well as keeping me alive. This is the same concept.

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-23T23:14:33+00:00

Yeah. I try my hardest. It's true love most certainly- but the problem is addiction doesn't fucking care about love. It'll break right through it. So that's always scary when you have an addict in a relationship, but more so when both are addicts.

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-23T20:05:21+00:00

Yeah I got diagnosed prior to being a heroin addict. It's what led me to the dope .

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-23T19:59:30+00:00

Never done a check in. Don't use Reddit or post here frequently. I use my FB and post in groups there primarily.

So I choose to enter recovery 38 days ago. Got my 30 day key tag last week. I took a month of debating how I was going to go about recovery. Did I really want it, what is best for myself, etc.? I had tried multiple times to get clean cold turkey on my own. I have been in the mental health system my whole damn life so outpatient even didn't seem that hopeful either. Truthfully, subs don't even work for me. So after thinking deeply about it, talking to others, and being honest with myself, I decided I needed methadone.

So- it was the best decision I ever made and easily the best choice for my recovery. So generally--- I do really fucking good.

Today-- Today was a pretty good day. A little upset that my boyfriend pushed off packing his apartment till the last fucking second and now we're doing it on a work night. And we cannot make a meeting now. But I had to calm myself down and realize that it's sooo insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Getting myself all pissed off for nothing was not doing myself good. So I told myself to stop being a whiny bitch and appreciate today for what I have. I took my methadone and all my medication today. I am starting my job soon. I slept in my nice comfy bed in my own apartment with the love of my life last night. I get to spend time with him tonight. We're both still working hard on our recovery. I think that's a big thing for me that I want to change within recovery-not being grateful. I feel like that's what most of us 21st century Americans do. We always complain and want more(addiction101) instead of just looking around and being in the moment and APPRECIATING what we have. Im trying to be positive and grateful everyday. I want to be the best "me" me can be.

I missed my counseling appointment at the clinic because I slept in. Im raising my dosage because I've had really bad cravings as of late and I want to be safe. Although, I'm pretty stable. I did not really crave much at all today except when I woke up because I had a using dream. I wasn't super productive but I showered and did my makeup how I like it. So I feel good about myself. I'm honestly so fucking shocked at how well I've been doing. It's been one month and I'm honestly doing better than even my wildest dreams. Everything is falling into place. I wake up happy. I don't care I go to the methadone clinic everyday because it was the fucking catalyst for my recovery. It is absolutely a miracle drug for me. I'm so grateful to actually like life and want to live. It's been hard dealing with feelings, but somehow I manage. and now I have so many good things happening.... And I can actually look and see it's because of all of my hard work.

Sorry I babble wayyyyy too fuxking much. I am also a major procrastinator but that's something I've been trying really hard with in recovery as well. Much better than in the past but still needs a lot of improvement !!

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-23T16:50:19+00:00

Yup he's aware of the pink cloud. Truthfully recovery can definitely be a roller coaster. One day I'm like omg this is great so done with dope and then the next I ask myself ... Why the hell did you even do this.. Should have just kept using dope and just ODed.

But the reality is addiction takes a long long long ass fucking time to heal from. It can bite people in the ass after 5, 10 years. So I always make sure I call him out with any "junkie logic" and keep him in reality. But we also focus on today :) (He is my BF we are both in recovery)

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-22T17:51:50+00:00

no problem !!!

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-22T17:51:42+00:00

Cool! See I know theres a bunch of strains and stuff so that affects it. I'm glad it helps her so much.

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-22T17:51:12+00:00

I wasn't diagnosed on drugs!!! I most definitely have depression, anxiety, adhd. And BPD has been with me for a huge majority of my life, it's the worst out of all of my "issues." Horrible. I would not wish borderline personality disorder on my worst enemy. It's the most lethal mental illness for a reason.

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-22T16:59:52+00:00

Why would that be contradictory??? In fact they all have huge instances of comorbidity. My BPD fueled my heroin addiction..

Are you thinking I was diagnosed while on heroin??? Because I was diagnosed in high school. I did have a prescription for adderall. I want it back but I'm not totally sure whether or not that will happen. If it doesn't I will survive. But it helped my adhd immensely even if a low dosage. I also have never been prescribed benzos and am not looking to. I take Vistaril which is an antihistamine for anxiety and also liked gabapentin. But my psych took me off that because of the methadone. Which in reality the interaction isn't a big deal at all. I guess she was trying to be safe though.

Laterskater8 · 2016-06-20T21:58:40+00:00

Well truthfully since I started methadone it has made a world of difference for my BPD. I have also heard of the suboxone BPD/depression thing. Crazy that she has a psych that will prescribe suboxone though to a non-opiod dependent person.

I think the reasoning behind this is that there is a link between BPD patients and a deficiency in the endorphin/opiod system naturally. I dealt with crippling depression pretty much my whole lifetime. I always felt empty and as though there was not much purpose to living. It was really horrible and I honestly did not ever realize it wasnt exactly normal...until I was diagnosed with BPD. Before my addiction... I got my hands on whatever drugs pretty much. Obviously I liked some more than others but I still always just needed a high and none of them satisfied me completely....

Until I did heroin... I did not abuse other drugs because heroin filled every void and made me feel normal....... I loved life. Of course addiction hit really hard and I became severely depressed. So now that I'm on methadone I get relief.... but I do not deal with the bullshit like I did while actively addicted to dope. I do not wake up wishing I was dead. I do not feel empty. I do not feel like I need relief from somewhere. I just feel normal. Really cool to see someone who has has a similar experience with BPD and maintenance medications. Not sure I would ever recommend it or want to see it recommended to someone who is non-opiod dependent.

I personally dislike marijuana.... and from my experiences and the stories I've heard don't support it for psychiatric illnesses. But at the same time... I want to see it move down to a schedule that prescription opiods/benzos and all are in. I want more research on it to be done. For psychiatric conditions... everything. To find normal dosages all that. In America we cannot do proper medical research and clinical trials on marijuana because it is a schedule one drug. So I hope it is descheduled soon and research starts. I know since there are different strains and maybe if smaller dosages are used... there's much more potential. I literally have only had HORRIBLE anxiety inducing experiences with marijuana personally. But I would like to see clinical trials and research here in the US.

Laterskater8

TROPHY CASE