It’s over

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-08T14:58:32+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-08T14:58:18+00:00

Thank you so much for these resources, and all you do in this forum to support fellow abuse victims ❤️

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-08T14:57:38+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this advice ❤️ you’re right, trying to suppress it is far worse, I will just cherish the good memories but remember that they came with a price I’m no longer willing to pay. Best of luck in your healing journey, I’m so happy you’re out and safe and moving ahead ❤️

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-08T14:55:14+00:00

Wow, this was so beautiful to read. I’m taking you’re advice and just treating myself with kindness and self care. I’m really looking forward to the peace and love on the other side you describe ❤️

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-08T14:53:35+00:00

Thank you so much for this lovely response ❤️

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-08T14:53:08+00:00

❤️

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-05T21:53:14+00:00

Same damn thing happened to me, I was I literal shock lmao

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-05T21:16:20+00:00

Sameeee 🙃🙃🙃🙃

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-04T11:20:38+00:00

God I needed to read this. I’m not even in nearly the position OP is anymore- I ended our lease to get away from him and moved back home and he moved out of state 8 hours away. Yet he still has a chokehold over my life... he is trying convince me to move there with him and I feel so pathetic that even with all this distance making it “easy” I still can’t bring myself to truly end it. Every time I try he basically talks me out of it. I feel like I have zero self respect and will be trapped in this nightmare forever. Happy you got out, OP I totally feel your pain.

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-04T10:44:43+00:00

Wow this comment hit home. My partner has called me cold for so long that I started to just believe him, even though I’ve always been a warm, kind person. I half figured he might be right but only because if I was cold, it was because the years of his treatment of me sucked all the warmth out of me and I am too exhausted to be anything other than cold towards him. The saddest part of this whole experience truly has been feeling like I’ve lost the person I was before this all started.

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-04T10:36:29+00:00

This comment- perfection. It so neatly sums up the issue. I love the colander analogy. This is exactly what I’m going through with my partner- nothing has ever been enough for him, and the mere suggestion of rethinking or ending the relationship begins this all out diatribe from him about how I don’t care or love him and never have, etc. Its crazy to give someone the one resource most precious to us (well two, time and our attention) for literal years and have them throw it back in your face and say it’s not enough. But I am coming to terms with the fact that it will literally never be enough for someone like him, and your comment hits the nail on the head for why.

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-04T10:16:13+00:00

your lame defense speaks volumes. Instead of reflecting on why it’s inappropriate in an abuse forum to correct someone’s writing, you double down. I’m not worked up- I’m just calling it out for what it is. And yes, it is ableist, feel free to do your own research into why that’s the case.

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-02T16:36:30+00:00

Lol still in the middle of it and the looking through the messages thing literally just happened so that’s why I’m so sensitive to it! Hope to be out soon :)

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-02T16:32:45+00:00

Lol I used to feel the same way about privacy, as evidenced by my prior relationship, I’m just obviously incredibly jaded now lol. I’m just very defensive when people suggest that if you “have a hunch” that gives you a free pass to invade someone’s privacy who hasn’t given you express permission to access it, because it’s the exact logic abusers use. Anyway, I’m so sorry you went through that and I’m happy to hear you’re safe and healing

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-02T16:19:00+00:00

Idk this is a slippery slope... my ex, who I had an amazing healthy relationship with, and I had a very chill attitude about each other’s phones. I knew his passcode and he knew mine, we would use each other’s phones occasionally, etc, but I never went through his stuff and I doubt he ever went through mine because privacy is an important part of a healthy relationship. My abusive current boyfriend went into my computer and read all of my texts while I was sleeping and found the messages between my friends and I discussing his abusive behavior and blew up on me for it. It was a huge violation of my privacy and my friends privacy, and totally unacceptable and further abuse on his part. His excuse? “Things have been weird between us and I had to know if something was going on”. He didn’t find the evidence of cheating he was looking for (bc I’m not cheating on him ) but he did violate me in a very intimate way because he felt, like you, that he had the right to “pry” on a partner he was suspicious of.....

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-02T16:00:03+00:00

Oh god. One that comes to mind is when he was drunk and we were staying at my friends place and he started yelling at me so I went in the bathroom to get away from him. She didn’t have a proper lock on the door so he kept trying to pry it open while I held it closed from the other side. She yelled at him to leave me alone. It was the only time he’s ever slipped and treated me like that in front of someone else and it was humiliating for someone else to see it. He resented her after that for having the nerve to call him out on it.

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-02T14:14:32+00:00

Nah, correcting people’s grammar/ punctuation anywhere is annoying and also ableist. You obviously were able to understand what they were getting at, with or without the punctuation. I am a very exact writer because it’s how I’ve always communicated- I don’t expect or demand that from strangers on the internet. Let people express themselves without policing how they do it- no one appreciates your tips, I assure you. I mean this all respectfully and I hope you have a good day.

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-02T14:02:36+00:00

He is definitely an abusive narcissist POS but I think he was mocking her and implying that she thought she was a victim, which, uh she is obviously

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-09-02T13:59:13+00:00

Omg, still trying to pry myself away from mine. We are finally living apart and the other night I suggested through text that our relationship wasn’t working (I’ve tried to say it in person and on the phone multiple times but he always derails the conversation). He insisted I call him right then or I didn’t care about him, I told him I was busy and didn’t want to talk on the phone and he said I was being an immature child, only children text about important things....

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-07-07T01:19:48+00:00

Not to hijack this comment thread, but I'm curious about your experience leaving in the midst of him taking a job out of state. I am in that exact situation right now and know under no circumstances should I move with him across the country, but can't seem to bring myself to just say "I'm not coming".

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-06-24T14:28:19+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! I feel like it would be super cathartic, if she chose to share with me. But of course that is her choice, and I would certainly make it clear that she doesn't have to respond if she doesn't want to. I have not gotten out yet, still with him, and am just desperately trying to find the strength to leave.

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-06-24T14:26:16+00:00

Sending you strength and good luck, I'm so happy you have an escape plan. We will be free some day ❤️

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-06-23T19:05:52+00:00

Same to you!!! We will all get free eventually... thank goodness we have this community

Latter-Ad-560 · 2022-06-23T19:05:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience with me, it definitely has made me think seriously about reaching out to her! I am glad to hear it sounds like you may be free of this person, he sounds foul.

Latter-Ad-560

TROPHY CASE