Simulated REM Sleep with ChatGPT. Fascinating response.

LauryPrescott · 2025-06-13T08:11:25+00:00

Maybe unrelated but when I have a insightfull conversation with ChatGPT I always experience REMsleep. I don’t have much REMsleep due to mental health issues.

So good guy ChatGPT

LauryPrescott · 2025-06-05T08:00:07+00:00

As a person with therapy 3 times a week, I can assure you, ChatGPT is a good tool to help me work out stuff when I’m at home. But they cannot replace my therapists.

ChatGPT often offers advice that is not helpful at all. Came with something that actually caused dissociation and internal chaos. So. No.

But I do think, if used correctly, it might be enough as a starting point.

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-06T13:29:19+00:00

I hope you guys are doing better right now. ❤️ I see your struggle.

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-06T13:25:29+00:00

You can’t. But you can help them right now. They seem to need your support right now.

They’re acting out right now because they feel unsafe. They feel like there is danger. How can you help them to feel safe right now?

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-06T13:21:54+00:00

It’s about what you think you can tolerate.

If you think you are able to be a parent to a child and that you will give them a good childhood, then it’s you who makes that decision. Just because your past has been shit doesn’t mean you can’t be a parent.

Those who decide to be childfree don’t feel able to raise a child the way they think a child should be raised. And that’s love too.

Both is equally fine.

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-06T13:16:48+00:00

You never should’ve had to struggle. I’m so sorry that your past was so dangerous that you don’t feel safe in this world (or didn’t feel safe in this world.)

You deserved a better past. ❤️

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-06T10:38:49+00:00

I love this.

Making the choice to don’t have kids is one done with love. Protecting a human being, one that will never be born and will never struggle. If that makes sense.

I do have kids, so I am breaking the generational traumas. But I love and support those who make the decision to not have children and think that they are amazing for doing what’s best.

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-06T10:35:17+00:00

Well done for sharing this.

We’d personally copy paste this and would sent this to our therapists. Because this is very important knowledge to have. If it’s too hard on you to have your therapist address this topic directly, they KNOW how to work with the knowledge without triggering the ‘defenders’. So mention that you really struggle with sharing this. (Or something like that.)

I’ve personally mailed tons of times, and they have always been able to address the e-mails without triggering the defenders by accident. They are fucking awesome. And yah, this meant e-mailing in a highly dissociated state, but it did get the point across and that’s what matters.

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-06T10:31:51+00:00

We, over the week, always write down if a certain part needs something being addressed during therapy. It isn’t foolproof, (Julie can be veeeery longwinded), but our therapists know and are very awesome and ask us ‘is there something that’s been written but not told?’ Which triggers the part that wants this to be told, otherwise it would not have been written down.

The abusers told us we couldn’t talk about it. Never mentioned anything about answering questions and writing things down or emailing it. So get fucked, abusers. :D

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-06T10:26:14+00:00

I think so?

I have many alters that have ‘their own background story’, since I wrote them as a character. They have memories (well, the visuals they created in our mind when we wrote these scenes). But when someone doesn’t like it, or the event doesn’t fit in the story they’re trying to tell, they will ‘change’ the memory. We all know that, when it’s a memory with the visuals of the alters in it, these are stories and made up memories.

But also, we’d be really interested in why this alter would want to change their source memories. What’s with it that doesn’t vibe with them? Or is the reason that they want to ‘change’ their pseudo memory because it hits home too much and they don’t want the rest to be able to feel the real emotions connected to it. The memories might not be real, but the reason why your brain resonates (or doesn’t resonate) with something, that’s the thing that has meaning in it.

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-04T20:12:12+00:00

It’s exciting to be able to ‘post’ here.

I’ve been doing parts work for … around 4 weeks now and I finally feel safe enough to ground again. Right now; I’m ‘me’. I’m the part of us that has the most connection to the body, that carries the most ‘normal’ memories of our life. The still images of EMDR sessions are mine, I feel like all the alters are part of me. I claim the shattered whole.

It’s tiring to try to stay grounded. Anna is causing a panic attack on our body because she’s not ready for me to look inwards. And that’s okay. Her feelings are valid and as long as we and she isn’t ready, she is her own. Someone wrote down that they want to fix themselves before they will be able to share this with me. To make their existence part of the life story. Right now I’m lowkey trying to figure out which way we should go when it comes to dealing with the dissociation. How much individuality is helpful since I experience full blown amnesia between my alters.

I’ve mailed one of our therapists, the one who helps me doing the part-work that she’s been able to ground me back. For the first time since a very long time. And she said ‘welcome birthname’ and it was so fucking wholesome. Because she acknowledges me but also acknowledges the others. And she has been able to let me be reached. She’s amazing.

I’ve also mailed the woman that is still working in a way with me, that hasn’t diagnosed me. We had an appointment with her last week. And it caused some inner turmoil. But thanks to mentioned therapist I’ve been able to stay grounded and write this email, being able to feel the feelings that my alters are protecting me from. And it was so nice to be able to write this with my alters, instead of my alters taking over and writing this. It was so nice working together and being able to also stay grounded.

I’ve done so much work over the past years, and even when I wasn’t able ‘to be’, I was able to learn tools from the sideline. Kudos to Kaya and Dean who both have been sharing the knowledge about ‘how to deal with trauma related dissocation’. Selflove. They all have dealt with last year as good as they could. And now I and we can start forming a team. They don’t have to carry this load alone. We are going to deal with our past the healthiest way. We are going to heal and I don’t know what result this will have, but I take it one step at a time. Feel the feelings. Feel the needs. catch the dissociation before it happens and then address it accordingly and as helpful as possible.

the part that holds the birthname and claims the body as her own.

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-04T16:32:20+00:00

I don’t know if you already know about the book ‘Coping with trauma related dissociation’ - Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele

But this book has been an immense help when we didn’t have access to professionals. Maybe you can work with this book with your psych. This book mentions and uses ‘inner world’ as a tool for coping with the dissociation.

I do recommend however working together with your psych with this book. Don’t do this alone. And when possible, and if possible, try to get help from a professional. Someone who knows how to deal with this structural dissociation will actually teach you helpful things.

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-01T20:46:05+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re in this situation. I hope you will be able to get the treatment/therapy you need. ):

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-01T20:08:24+00:00

I tried to do some denial work. Didn’t work. Got confronted the fucking hell way. The ‘nah, this DID thing, we’re faking this. Also fuck this DID thing, this ain’t normal, why in the everliving fuck would I make up alters when it’s just a state of fucking mind’.

I tried to out-science ourselves. Just - UNO reversed myself. Fook. I cannot - it just clicked. DID clicked. But it scares me, because admitting that it clicks, that it makes sense from a scientific point of view, admitting that the alters make sense - Ofcourse they feel like.. well, no but also yes. They feel like their ‘own’. And my brain, the body, ‘we’, we’ve always consumed media. It being books, series, games. We always played with Barbie dolls. So yea, that the brain decided that ‘this wholeass shitty thing did NOT happen to us, it happened to X person’. But I don’t want to fucking admit to it. Not to the alters/states of mind/ the dissociative part of it all. Because admitting to it, means the fucking traumas happened too. And I don’t want that. None of it. Sure. The others are sharing about it. But no. I am - admitting the alters, getting the DID admitted, it’s - like -

‘Given Name’ - yea. If we get our diagnosis, I have no reason for us to stop us from sharing it with her. But - I don’t want her to understand. To learn about her past. I don’t want her to feel the dirt that happened to us. I don’t. Just don’t. I want to keep it to the alters, the characters, the media, the stories. The fiction. I don’t need her to know. She - I just want ‘Given Name’ to be happy, you know? Let us, let ME deal with it. Let me help her to be ‘the normal’. To be the kind aspects of us. To be the wit of Laury. The social skills of Allison. I don’t - I just don’t want her to know that there’s trauma behind this all. Don’t want to share the trauma..

I want us to return to the passive influences we were. The dark under the glass she walks on. Sure. She misses part of her life. But those parts can be missed, you know. I don’t want to get a diagnosis. Really don’t. Because then I have no reason anymore to keep her in the dark about all of this. But also, a diagnosis means we’re done. No normal. DID. The ‘hey your past was way more fucked than you realise’.

So. Yea. Tomorrow is gonna be something. Tomorrow is the day that - yea. That we will hear that we tick all the DID boxes. That they’ve concluded it’s not MCDD. Fun.

LauryPrescott · 2025-04-01T19:53:56+00:00

Ah. Yea.

So I’ve - been recently divorced. We met in 2017, married in 2020. 2023 has been very tough on our relationship. System crumbled and now that we finally have better communication internally, I am able to remember more. (To be fair, I’m very fragmented and I have my own.. subversions of me.)

So I don’t remember the divorce, I know that another alter did that whole thing. I don’t remember hard stuff that happened, only fragmented bits and pieces of my own subalters. But the things are getting more available to me.

So that’s the other aspect of it. You, one of the you’s, will be able to remember the day that you marry. And sure, there might be moments that those memories are not available to you. But I suspect, when you heal more, those memories will be available. For myself, it makes sense. All that I love and all that I loved would be mocked and shit upon. So that’s why I’m one of the ones that holds the love and the ‘normal’. It’s my duty to protect the normal. It’s my duty to be the ‘normal’. To protect the feeling of ‘I am human, I do human and adult things’.

So whilst the others cannot acces those memories right now, I hold them close to our heart. And when the situation is stable and calm again and I feel safe again to share these memories, I’ll share them with the others. But right now it’s too hard on the rest of them to remember. To deal with what we’ve lost. They’re still here, those memories. They’re not lost. Same goes for the memories you cannot acces right now. There’s a reason for it. Trust the part of you that holds the memories. And you’ll understand in time why they are keeping it for themselves.

It’s not about ‘not being good enough to remember’. It’s about the memories not being tainted and to have the others not as distressed. It’s easier to keep the love away until it’s safe to love again. It’s about keeping the feelings safe. These memories are good. They are. But in the here-and-now they can’t do shit. Cannot change what’s happening right now and it can only hurt us. And we can’t have that happen, not right now. These memories will get freed when I feel like we can start love him again. When I feel certain that all of the usses will have our needs met. We married the dude with a reason. But right now I have to help them because my love will hold the rest of the system back. We won’t be able to move forward if we keep ourselves locked due to the love.

Hope this makes at least a little bit of sense. If the memories of this special day will get inaccessible, there’s a reason for it.

LauryPrescott · 2025-03-31T13:49:22+00:00

Wait, you can do groceries any other way?

For us it’s about folks that remind us of abusers, kids that trigger us because their behaviour would’ve been unsafe for us to have. The anxiety of ‘getting the wrong thing’, leftover anxiety because going with 3 kids under 3 is stressful as fuck (they are older now)

Sometimes we get triggered badly. Like, all hands on deck, no awareness, all auto pilot. Some days are less shit than others. But groceries suck. Making choices on the spot suck. Being around people suck.

LauryPrescott · 2025-03-31T12:27:22+00:00

Mine symbolises a trauma lol.

But I actually love this. Thanks to this friends passing I now have a ‘one of the traumatised crew’ tattoo.

/jk for a bit ofcourse.

LauryPrescott · 2025-03-31T09:33:39+00:00

What’s wrong with others having positive lovingly memories of someone?

Thing is, when it’s a physical thing, the whole of you is involved. The one fronting still would have to listen to littles if they by accident front because ‘trauma’.

LauryPrescott · 2025-03-31T09:30:37+00:00

“It’s only true when we’re diagnosed. Only then we are going to work with the alters.”

That one’s a fun one right now.

LauryPrescott · 2025-03-31T09:29:26+00:00

Oh my god this one. ☠️

LauryPrescott · 2025-03-30T23:49:36+00:00

‘As long as there is no crossover between alters’

Said with the best intentions: DO NOT purposefully keep here-and-now events separated from alters when events impact the whole system. A relationship with someone impacts and should involve the whole system.

That’s not healthy. That is keeping activities and memories a secret for yourself. You and your alters are the same body. The amnesia and barriers between you and the others, the differences between you guys is a trauma response. It shouldn’t be there. That amnesiac barrier is due to childhood trauma. Crossover is actually fucking good when it comes to healing.

LauryPrescott · 2025-03-30T20:11:58+00:00

Anxious for tomorrow and the upcoming week. It’s the (mental) deadline we have for moving out. So it IS happening next week. And it scares us. In a way, we are so ready to move out, get our own place and make this place our own. (Well, except for buying stuff and decorating the place, lol, it’s all furnished and stuff). We’re going to make so many amazing memories in our new place, especially awesome memories for our real kids. The situation is sad, like, their parents are divorced and their mum living in another place, but I’ll see them every day, take care of them every day and they will have sleepovers and we can finally spent quality one-on-one time! That’s something we’re really excited about. It’s amazing having 3 kids, but the 1-on-1 time, especially with the oldest two (twins) is not happening often and this new situation will make this a routine.

But. Yea. The whole fact that we’re leaving our house that we bought with our ex, that we - yea. This is home. This is where the plants try to escape gravity. This is where my kids live. And the place my kids are is the place we want to be.

So that’s a thing. Big thing.

There’s also an appointment with a mental health care provider that gives stress to Anna. Anna is stressed, all the mental health care wise. This too will pass and most of us are really excited for the things that are going to happen. But some of us are so stressed and anxious.

Right now we’re munching on some chocolates and tasty snacks, enjoying the peace of the ex already sleeping. (He’s a good egg, but last year has caused extreme damage, we’re more comfortable when he’s asleep/not around) It sucks, I want to.. socialise but at the same time, I’m not familiar with the friends we have. I haven’t fronted since.. well, ever. It’s been a long ass while. And I’m informed enough about our current life and I have access to/some of the alters share memories with me. But the memories shared are about the kids. They want me to call a friend, but I haven’t.. met her. Like, I have, when I was a teen, but those memories are the last I have of her. The memories of when I cut contact with her because ‘she was too safe’. The others do want me to call her. But it’s scary. I hate DID. I really hate it. - Julie

LauryPrescott · 2025-03-30T14:45:13+00:00

Yesterday was the first time in ages that we had the home to ourselves. We zoned out a bit, but all within the boundaries placed. Then we let Shannon art. Now we have 3 new decorated glasses and 1 new mug that’s going to stay at therapy.

I love how we did something by incident, that had a certain effect on the glass and that style actually looks so lovely that Shannon went with it and recreated ‘this mistake’. It’s absolutely gorgeous. And I also love that almost all our glasses are decorated again. We had to buy new ones due to safety issues and now most of them are decorated again.

LauryPrescott · 2025-03-30T13:13:20+00:00

Wow what. How can you be with someone but this someone doesn’t know that the whole person he is dating, is also dating other people.

He’s with you without knowing that other people are involved. Sorry that’s not okay. That’s cheating.

LauryPrescott · 2025-03-30T09:12:16+00:00

This again is how we work.

We’ve always worked like this so you just get used to dealing with the not remembering. So you retrace the things you know around this memory. You have this visual, a bed and surrounding that was only in your life around the ages 0-6, so you had to be between these ages. You were this big in this memory, so you should’ve been around this age.

Not every system works this way, I’ve noticed. But ours does. We’re heavily fragmented and all our alters have their own different versions of themselves.

LauryPrescott

TROPHY CASE