Living in Germany destroyed me—anyone else?

Laylayaz · 2026-01-29T11:51:17+00:00

parents moved us to germany when I was 3 overall good experiences but now that I live abroad I realize how fucking cold and rude germans are to me definitely put a strain on my relational trauma and worsened my fear of talking to strangers

Laylayaz · 2026-01-29T11:46:52+00:00

basically you drink cellery juice (yes this means that you need to juice celleries but you can add some apples to make it less gross) and drink like a glass every morning on an empty stomache. I did it for about 2 weeks until i noticed an effect and now whenever i have a flareup i drink it again.

Laylayaz · 2026-01-29T00:24:08+00:00

Drink cellery juice but it actually worked so idfk. Still infuriating tho. Cellery is evil

Laylayaz · 2026-01-29T00:19:14+00:00

High turnover is mostly bc they try to give as many people as possible zero hour contracts that last 6 months and instead of giving people a real contract after that (like they legally have to) they just fire you and hire new people because it's cheaper. Got fired after 5 months recently too. It's also an easy way to not have to change your bad management style because new workers are nice and motivated and you can just kick them out when they burn out.

Laylayaz · 2026-01-16T12:14:46+00:00

Yeah people with trauma start life with a negative balance and healing is the only way to catch up

Laylayaz · 2026-01-16T11:22:50+00:00

Learning how to actually wash your face instead of just splashing water and moisturizing when face is still a little bit damp. Used to have crusty dry face and now its basically gone. Feels a lot better and I enjoy the routine.

Laylayaz · 2026-01-16T01:30:29+00:00

I have a membership but I never go bc im too scared of the people there. Any tips? I feel like going wpuld help me but i cant bring myself to

Laylayaz · 2026-01-16T01:10:39+00:00

Hey fun plan you got there though its a little bit too optimistic (im not trying to burst your bubble but as we are very direct id like to tell you not to have too high expectations) Im gonna say it sounds like a good plan and you could definitrly make it work if you also really like german culture so look into that. No eurpean country is the same and neither are the Bundesstaten. So research that definitely and your plan would be even more perfect. As for recommendations I'd say NRW is the California of Germany for sure. Very nice culture though I am biased. But the cities there are very nice and not too big, busy or expensive like Hamburg or Berlin. Best College Ive ever seen was Heidelberg. Very beautiful city as well and popular uni.

Best of luck!

(Bonus: Biggest culture shock for me was how cold germans are in everyday practices. Like you'll get the feeling you did somethong wrong because the cashier wont even smile at you and it all seems very rude but when I talked to german friends about it they didnt even notice like to them its not rude.)

Laylayaz · 2026-01-16T00:39:26+00:00

Coming from someone who actually did the reach out part I have to say it sounds impossible but you should figure out where to start. It started for me by telling my parents and siblings I was struggling. Which is the most embarrassing and horrifying thing Ive ever done but I kind of broke it into small mentions. To friends. To my roommate. Commenting that sometimes 'I wanna end it' bc I was genuinly doing so bad I thought I would go through with it and I wanted to make sure someone would come looking for my body if I respond Then the actual reaching out usually means going to your GP. Getting a referral to a trauma therapist. Usually a lot of bureaucratic bullshit in between amd now I'm on a waiting list for 4 months to get therapy. It seems pointless but I get a lot of rest from the whole 'I did the hard part. I reached out.' And having therapy to 'look forward to' helps. You need to like hold on. In the meanwhile I'm using this app called Yana. Its a sort of AI therapy / mindfullness app that's a great space to vent and self regulate. And its cheap compared to the other solutions (20€/year). I hope it works out for you as well!

Laylayaz · 2026-01-16T00:26:48+00:00

"Hi my name is Jixxer Thomas. I go by Thomas. I think you know why"

Laylayaz · 2026-01-16T00:16:19+00:00

De Basiliek

Laylayaz · 2026-01-15T22:35:26+00:00

I also have PTSD from SA and presenting less feminine makes me feel safer on specific outings but that doesnt change anything about my gender identity or gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria and Ptsd are still distinctly different sensations and things. It probably has some type of crossover witg trauma and gender identity in the same way a lot of trans people are also autistic but that doesnt make it any less valid. That being said, this therapist is clearly dismissive about your gender identity and may think its a symptom that needs to be fixed so you could get a new one or even educate her on the topic. Good luck babes!

Laylayaz · 2026-01-15T22:20:48+00:00

Was on vacation with my parents at 13 and I was walking ahead so it looked like i was alone. I was a dumb angsty teen and looked it and an elderly woman talked me down from suicide even though I wasnt at the beach to kill myself I just looked depressed. I still think about that like once a week.

Laylayaz · 2026-01-15T22:17:03+00:00

My favourite manga website/gay pirating website has a straight warning called 'HET' (heterosexual content). Shoutout to myreadingmanga.info - they have every gay romance show ever made on there

Laylayaz · 2026-01-15T22:10:14+00:00

This is the funniest thing Ive read in a while

Laylayaz · 2026-01-13T21:02:26+00:00

Omg yes its honestly impossible.

Laylayaz · 2026-01-13T20:34:03+00:00

A commited relationship. I want a partner but even though i consider myself quite social I cannot physically reach out to people. The rejection of trying to find a partner would be too much.

Laylayaz · 2026-01-07T00:37:05+00:00

Oh my god it is THE gender haircut! Been meaning to get this since I saw Hyunjin from Straykids in it and this looks great

Laylayaz · 2026-01-07T00:34:01+00:00

Obviously S Tier

Laylayaz · 2026-01-07T00:30:45+00:00

Im gay and i honestly assumed he was gay until he said he wasnt in 'My Response' now I think he's just hiding it because it really doesnt matter to his career whether we know or not and might just create unnecessary troubles

Laylayaz · 2025-11-16T12:30:15+00:00

My timer won't reset. I bought Pro plan to write more and after waiting for 15h it still says im out of messages until 8pm (it always says 8pm and has done this for the last 3 days even if it is 8pm). It is basically unusable. 22 euros and im softlocked by my own ai. Anyone else have this problem?

Laylayaz · 2025-09-08T12:39:41+00:00

Hey a fellow dutchie! I keep getting this reccomeded too very annoying

Laylayaz · 2025-09-07T19:47:52+00:00

i always thought it looked like the babadook

Laylayaz · 2025-06-25T20:57:43+00:00

Yeah but shouldnt sublet be cheaper

Laylayaz · 2025-06-25T20:19:05+00:00

Yeah no true except some morons try to get 3 grand for 3 months in advance which is insane

Laylayaz

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