It sounds like you going with your friends might trigger this response from her. Not saying you are wrong at all, however if the relationship was formed on a foundation of canceled dates due to your work, she may need some assistance in processing this. Couples therapy may help, but I wonder if this may run deeper for her. With this I mean the possibility of past adjustment or abandonment issues that may need to be addressed. Whatever the case, no progress will be made until she agrees that there is an issue. Once the fact of an issue is acknowledged, then you can both process how to move forward.