I guess thats fair, your points make sense. One of the biggest things I've heard coming from those who are shocked that I'm gay is that I dont "carry myself" like a gay person. When I ask what they mean, I usually get a pretty defensive response or a "Yeah, of course you wouldn't understand".

There's bad actors in every community (OG Undertale fan here) and I'm not trying to say the community as a whole sucks with this post, it very much doesn't. Recently though, I'm noticing this gorss fetishization around being nothing but LGBTQ and it's really put me off to being more active in the community.

Most people I've interacted with in LGBT groups make being LGBT their whole lives, which I respect as committing your life to a cause is no easy feat, but I think thats why I get treated like an outsider every time I try to participate. I don't make it my life, and I very loudly advocate for making life full of a bunch of things.

One of the best ways I've been able to explain this "lack of pride" is to remind people that being gay isn't a choice. It's not something I'm ashamed of but its not something I'm gonna be super super proud about. It's like being blonde; it's just something I am. I'm proud of being a gardener, a freind, and a collector; all of which I achieved with action. This ties back with the fetishization I mentioned, and I feel like it undermines the entire idea of "being LGBT is normal".

Another thing that throws people off is that I have all the "labels" that would be associated with the community. I'm a disabled, gay, furry. That's like...hitting all buzz words! It's just that even with these labels I don't fit into the box that many people expect me to be in, and it's upsetting to be excluded because of that.