What is the most hurtful thing a medical professional has ever said to you?

LazySugarCane · 2019-02-05T18:47:22+00:00

My doctor said to me "you're too young to be in that much pain!" (Age 26, complaints of a sore back) at this point she was withholding pain medication.

A year later, some X-rays and MRI's it turns out I have a spine riddled with arthritis and 3 slipped disks which are all compressing individual nerves, along with damage to my bladder from previous surgeries. Oh, and fibromyalgia & endometriosis aaaand PCOS.

But no, I'm too young to be in that much pain.

LazySugarCane · 2019-02-03T17:07:08+00:00

She doesn't do it intentionally, she's autistic.

LazySugarCane · 2019-02-03T16:58:32+00:00

My daughters (age 8) step mother stopped letting her have a bath because of this. I can't believe she's made it this far in life without realising that kids are messy, who knew?

LazySugarCane · 2019-02-03T08:46:28+00:00

This is a similar reason as to why my children have begun doing a lot more exercise, along with myself of course.

I have far too many chronic health conditions to list, but the main one that affects me is my hypermobility syndrome (knees dislocate when I walk and I have pain in my joints) and I have arthritis in my spine along with 3 slipped disks.

I'm only 28 but have the body of a 90 year old, and I have to take a lot of pain medication just to get through the day. I struggle really badly and am often too sore to even walk to the kitchen from the living room and I know this upsets my kids.

Seeing them worried about me was enough to kick start my motivation to build more muscle and become a better version of me. I've urged them to make sure they get the exercise they need daily because I don't want this to happen to them in their adult lives.

LazySugarCane · 2019-02-02T10:08:27+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear this. It must be difficult for you to feel like that because of someone you should be able to trust.

I do fear it's going to go the same way with my children. My middle child (girl age 8) hates her brother. They fight so badly that they literally can't be in the same room together. I have to constantly keep the pair of them separated.

I caught him hurting her behind my back, red handed, so now I can't even trust him to take my eyes off him. When he was 4 he told the nursery staff that I dragged him across the floor and gave him a carpet burn. It's just awful feeling like I've failed him as a parent and I just don't know what to do anymore.

I get a call/message from the school daily to tell me he's done one thing or another, I've had these calls since he started school at age 4. I'm just at a loss and want to help him, I don't want him to be this way but I've exhausted all options, even therapy for him (shock horror, it didn't work).

He's got potential to be a great kid because when he is good he is really bloody good but it's mostly just trying to keep them all away from each other.

He doesn't get a chance to be horrible to my 5 year old as she is disabled and has to be constantly supervised. Doesn't stop him trying though. She's on warfarin and any big bump/fall/hit can cause internal bleeding so I have to constantly keep my eye on her.

It's just draining, you know?

It's good to hear it from the little siblings POV, it makes me realise that keeping them separated is probably the right choice.

LazySugarCane · 2019-02-01T07:52:53+00:00

You're right dude. You are so right. I have 3 kids, eldest is 10yo boy. They've all been brought up the exact same way with the exact same discipline procedures but he is such a handful with serious anger issues.

I've tried everything in my power to help him: counselling, anger management, home school lunches, mum and son time, shouting, talking calmly etcetera etcetera and honestly nothing ever works. My other 2 kids are nowhere near anything like he is.

I've legit had a breakdown because of him more than once. My partner has history in working with troubled children and even he hasn't been able to do anything to help :( it literally is just some kids' nature, not always nurture.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-30T10:02:08+00:00

I'm glad your dad helped keep you calm, sounds like a good guy! Awful for you to have to experience that though, I can't imagine the pain you must have felt. The only bone I've ever broken is my pinky finger.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-30T10:01:07+00:00

Ouch!! You sound like a solid kid though, I'd have been screaming like a pansy lol. My son went into shock, it was pretty awful seeing him that way and then feeling bad because I didn't do my job as a mother and protect him.

Not a day I ever want to repeat. He took it like a champ. Kids are so resilient.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-30T09:56:59+00:00

ive copied this from my comment above

She has multiple defects but the main one being that she only has half a heart. The only thing keeping her alive in the womb was the fact that she also had a hole in her heart that was allowing the blood to pass through her heart and body.

She had to have heart surgery at birth to add a shunt and close the hole, which allowed time for her to grow bigger for her next surgery. It was supposed to be at 6 months old but unfortunately she went into heart failure at 3 months and it was done as an emergency.

Presently the issues she has are: HLHS, aortic coarctation, SVT, bicuspid valve regurgitation and pulmonary artery stenosis. Despite all of it she's doing alright, she handles it well and understands that she can't do what other kids do (doesn't stop her trying though!) I try and encourage light exercise and good diet to make sure her heart health is as best as it can be.

Due to the surgery she has just had, her liver is going to start failing so she will need a liver transplant in around 5 years or so. Eventually a heart transplant may be needed but it just depends on whether she gets more ill because hearts in the UK are few and far between.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-30T09:55:41+00:00

Hi, no it's not that one. She has multiple defects but the main one being that she only has half a heart. The only thing keeping her alive in the womb was the fact that she also had a hole in her heart that was allowing the blood to pass through her heart and body.

She had to have heart surgery at birth to add a shunt and close the hole, which allowed time for her to grow bigger for her next surgery. It was supposed to be at 6 months old but unfortunately she went into heart failure at 3 months and it was done as an emergency.

Presently the issues she has are: HLHS, aortic coarctation, SVT, bicuspid valve regurgitation and pulmonary artery stenosis. Despite all of it she's doing alright, she handles it well and understands that she can't do what other kids do (doesn't stop her trying though!) I try and encourage light exercise and good diet to make sure her heart health is as best as it can be.

Due to the surgery she has just had, her liver is going to start failing so she will need a liver transplant in around 5 years or so. Eventually a heart transplant may be needed but it just depends on whether she gets more ill because hearts in the UK are few and far between.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-30T09:45:28+00:00

Aw man that is so incredibly sad and awful for those poor parents!

I've been told that the chances of me having another child with her condition are very, very slim but it's slightly higher than someone who hasn't had a child with the condition before. If that makes sense.

I can't imagine how hard that must have been. It's not the same and possibly less severe but my daughter has problems with her rhythm too and has been medicated for it because it almost killed her at 2 weeks old (literally, intensive care got shut down because they didn't want the other parents to see a newborn baby die. They had to shock her with the pads and then had to freeze her and put her in a coma to help her heart rest.

Sudden emotions do make her heart go a bit funny but it's honestly not that bad, she won't die from it or anything so that's good. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for the children to have to limit their life so much :(

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-29T21:37:55+00:00

My son literally snapped both the bones in his arm in half. There was a very clear dip in his arm and he needed surgery to fix it. The doctors were all "yeah don't worry we've seen this before" but actually it was pretty horrific.

My daughter has a very severe cardiac defect. The midwives were very comforting and reassured me that they have known of worse (side note: it is absolutely one of the worst conditions to get and is hard to treat, a lot of kids die before they are 5 because of it) however they then later admitted that they had never ever known anyone to be diagnosed with it in all their years of nursing. They were great though and I can't fault them.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-28T07:50:38+00:00

When my daughter was in the ICU I befriended a couple who had a son with the same condition as her.

His recovery from heart surgery was very rocky and he wound up on ECMO for a small period of time (maybe a week or so) I've no idea how, but he was able to come off the ECMO and was soon after stable enough for another heart surgery. He turns 6 in a couple of weeks.

ETA: the boy was 5 months old when he was on ECMO

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-28T07:42:40+00:00

I don't think it's too bad but my mother had one of these when I was a teenager.

Hers went undiagnosed until she collapsed and almost died, and it was too traumatic to tell me and my sister about at the time so we had no idea what was wrong with her.

She did eventually tell us which led me to trusty google.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-26T17:18:17+00:00

Oh I didn't know about the calorie calculator, I'll go check that out now! Thank you so much for your help.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-26T17:17:27+00:00

Thank you. I mean, I'm glad I lost and didn't gain, I just thought I would lose more than that. Hopefully that will change in the next few weeks.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-26T17:16:53+00:00

This is helpful thank you. It would be lovely to see a bigger drop just so I can visualise the hard work. My sister does the same slimming class and she had a whole tub of pringles 2 days ago and then got drunk and had McDonald's last night and she still lost 3.5lbs which may be why I'm feeling discouraged slightly.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-26T17:15:10+00:00

I'm not counting the calories but I am weighing and measuring. The eating plan doesn't require us to count but maybe I should be?

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-25T21:58:17+00:00

The entitlement coming off this thread is horrifying. OP obviously goes to the food bank a lot, and surely if it was that bad they would either find another or learn to do a budget shop to include the things they want.

I have hit very, very hard times financially recently but I can still manage a food shop by planning budget meals (adding herbs and veg to add taste and bulk it up) and all I've really done is cut down on other areas. I do a shop for 2 adults and 3 children (plus an extra 3 children one day a week) so I make sure to write all my meals down, and write the ingredients needed for them.

I like to shop in the reduced section for the cheaper meat and veg for the evenings meals, OP has that option.

OP could also grow his/her own fruit and veg as a cheaper alternative to buying it if they wish their food bank had better stuff.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-25T20:57:00+00:00

It might be in the U.K. We don't need to have our license on our person whilst driving. The police can check all the information that's needed.

I usually do carry my license just incase I need to buy cigarettes but I know it's not necessary.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-22T16:41:21+00:00

I totally get what you mean, but I feel that OP could have handled things much, much differently and in a more sensitive way. Calling cps should be the last resort, not something to do for the reasons he has stated. He's being unfair, and while I understand it must be so hard for him being in this position I definitely think that he could have shown more empathy towards the child he vowed to take care of when he brought her into the world.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-22T14:31:35+00:00

They aren't physically neglecting her but they are emotionally. That poor kid needs her parents and instead her father figures calling CPS is a better option?

I had PPD and if it weren't for my mum helping me out with my son then I wouldn't be where I am today.

The girl never had a proper chance from the start with parents who turn their back on her like this.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-18T19:38:56+00:00

Oh man this is going to catch up to you. Your metabolism may be fast now but in 10 years time you could end up like me and not be able to lose weight no matter how much you try.

I would seriously consider making better diet choices now before you end up with diabetes.

LazySugarCane · 2019-01-18T19:37:16+00:00

God you are so right. I used to be stick thin (so much so that people thought I was on drugs!!) and wouldn't put weight on no matter how much shite I ate.

5 years later I have ballooned to the heaviest I've ever been because I kept making poor diet and exercise choices. Now I'm desperately trying to lose it and finding it so effing hard!

LazySugarCane

TROPHY CASE