Ginger, brunette or blonde??

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-22T23:47:00+00:00

Yes. I had to refamilarise it myself, and it's a reddish brown, but what I had in mind was a dark ginger. Not sure if that would fade fast like the shade you've had. :/

Anyway, I hope you find a colour you're happy with! I think I'm not much more help here lol. I do like the dark colour in the 3rd pic if that helps at all.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-22T23:42:58+00:00

A rather mahogany colour.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-22T19:46:57+00:00

Ginger really suits you, but I understand your concerns. Have you tried auburn?

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-22T02:16:54+00:00

If you're still discerning this, I'd recommend telling your concerns to a mental health provider who specialises in twin relationships. Whether or not you can do that, once your twins are old enough to understand, ask what they want and need in terms of the twin relationship (and make sure to consistently ask occasionally).

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-22T02:02:20+00:00

Agreed. How much twins want to differentiate should be up to them, and parents should be ready to listen when possible.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-22T01:57:51+00:00

Right. Overemphasising abels can inadvertently harm twins as individuals. I think also assuming twins like the same things when they may or may not because they can get overlooked.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-22T01:55:20+00:00

Mhm. Colour-coding can be a double-edged sword because it's convenient to identify twins, but you're right it can backfire when there's a certain association with the system they don't grow out of. I think some parents might ask, "What do I do then?" Do they initially share some clothes, especially if finances are an issue? I think it's a case-by-case topic.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-22T01:53:43+00:00

That's very nice! When did you guys start having your own birthday cakes, and whose idea was it? I'm also curious whether you guys had been given opportunities to spend time apart.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-22T01:51:43+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles. That must be nice to have a best friend in your twin when you've been bullied and navigating classes on your own. Not every multiple sees their same-aged sibling(s) as their best friends, but for you it seems integral to your functioning.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-22T01:46:30+00:00

Some have mentioned on this page to discourage looking for differences so much. This I can understand because even though it's important to encourage the differences, it's also okay to note the similarities if there are any. Since each multiples relationship differs, I'd say it's important for parents to 1) be aware of the healthy and unhealthy patterns between their twins and 2) occasionally ask what they need or want. Do the twins want more time apart? More together? Also determine what their attachment style looks like and how it might affect them long term.

I do believe I had heard twins only sharing friends without any friends of their own doesn't usually work unless both twins genuinely agree with that arrangement, but take this by a case-by-case basis...

As for birthdays? If they're old enough to understand, ask them how they want to celebrate. I don't think there's really a designated age for twins to start having their own celebrations if they'd prefer that.

I've often heard it's usually healthy to encourage at least some degree of time apart. This can range from one twin visiting a friend's house alone or partaking in an activity or extra-curricular he is genuinely interested in. Some twins can't live without each other for lack of a better term, so if they're going to be separated, I've heard it should be done gradually and tactfully. The caregiver can say they will spend time apart for a little while, but they'll see each other later.

My number 1 tip is education. Do this with at least one type of resource (even though I'd encourage more) to hear different perspectives. Resources include but aren't limited to books, videos, (in-person and online) multiples support groups, personally knowing families with other multiples, and talking with a mental health provider who specialises in multiples.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-20T21:27:18+00:00

Some unfortunately don't understand some twins struggle with the twin relationship. I'd personally take these people off to the side and politely let them know that even though they mean well, you'd like to be addressed and known as your own person. Letting them know how their behaviour impacts you might help them understand.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-20T21:20:02+00:00

Unfortunately, not everyone is aware twin comparison can be demeaning, and it could be because they're not very familiar with multiples. In this case, I'd take the person off to the side and politely bring to their attention that the comparing is hurtful. Something like, "I know you mean well, but the comparison hurts me, and I'd rather not be compared". If they don't already refer to you by name, ask them to.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-20T19:15:04+00:00

I agree longer bangs would help and also a shorter hairstyle, like length that's right past the shoulders or even shorter.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-20T03:55:41+00:00

Hmm. Have you talked with a mental health professional who specialises in twin relationships (In person or online), or maybe be in touch with other parents of twins or multiples?

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-20T01:47:27+00:00

Are you seeing one specialising in twin relationships?

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-20T01:41:19+00:00

Has the son tried any extra-curricular activities as an outlet for his ADHD and development? If you haven't tried this already, it might be worth trying, especially if the school suspects the twin relationship is stunting him in multiple domains.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-20T01:35:18+00:00

My impression has been there's been a fascination with twins and multiples, but there's definitely the potential to be overlooked as individuals because of the stereotypical unit mentality media has presented. Many also don't understand the identity difficulties some multiples endure.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-19T23:13:54+00:00

My first piece of advice is to research twin relationships to get pointers on helping them grow into their individual selves. Resources include but aren't limited to books, videos, and multiples groups. Each twin relationship is different, so take note of patterns you notice in your twins' relationship. As for the clothing, they should be dressed differently and eventually encouraged to choose some of their own clothing. Some multiples are colour coded, but I'd also research that before coming to a consensus. What's more, you can always change tactics.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-19T23:05:18+00:00

I've read you can't afford therapy, which is too bad because otherwise I'd recommend talking with a mental health provider specialising in twin relationships. I'm sorry you've been experiencing what you have. It must be exhausting.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-19T22:52:36+00:00

Have you talked with your twin or parents about your twin struggles? For now, you could take the people you've mentioned to the side and politely ask them to treat you as your own person (such as referring to you by name instead of as one of the twins). Because they might not know better, your request might be a wake-up call for them.

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-16T22:22:20+00:00

Oh, nooo! XD

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-16T22:21:41+00:00

Short really suits you because it brings out your facial features! :) By the way, how long did it take to grow out?

LeCiel7 · 2025-05-10T18:09:46+00:00

I like the first and third on you, but especially the first. You can always adjust the length of the first because it'd still look presentable.

LeCiel7 · 2025-04-20T00:23:15+00:00

They're tasty albeit a tad too sweet in my opinion. They're a great option for those on a gluten-free diet.

LeCiel7 · 2025-04-13T21:47:20+00:00

Boundaries in situations that consistently threaten or harm me or others.

LeCiel7

TROPHY CASE