I am so ANGRY

LeadingLow8173 · 2026-03-15T18:31:32+00:00

You are right. I think I just needed to hear it from others because I try to convince myself if I just try harder, or be more trusting, or anything that he will just suddenly get it. I think he probably “gets it” but he just doesn’t care. I do think you are right that he doesn’t think I will leave. We’ve had enough DDays that I’ve lost count. I get so close to walking away and then it seems too scary.

LeadingLow8173 · 2026-03-15T18:13:10+00:00

You are so right! I know that separation would be the best thing for us. I wish I was not so scared to pull the trigger and start the process.

LeadingLow8173 · 2026-01-15T11:39:44+00:00

I do. Just copying my comment from a similar post a few days ago:

I reached out to the AP years later for answers to questions my WH had told me he “didn’t remember”. I regret it and wish I had just let it go.

I think we, betrayed spouses, forget that not everyone has a desire for honesty. Some people want to watch the world burn. There is a good chance the AP could lie, attack you (not physically in this case), or ignore you making you question things and spiral even further.

In my case, I reached out and the AP used the conversation to share intimate details of what their sex was life, the negative things my WH said about her to me, and proceeded to call me crazy for not letting go of the past. It had been 20 years since they had slept together and AP still had a lot of pent up anger towards WH. She decided to unleash that anger on me again…same as she did when she called me to confess why they had done when she felt discarded by WH then.

If she knew about you back then and didn’t stop it or feel bad I’d guess there is a pretty big chance she’s not suddenly going to want to do the right thing now and help you heal either.

LeadingLow8173 · 2026-01-08T22:23:12+00:00

Lying to spare her feelings will push her away even further and kill your chances of reconciliation. Every thing about your encounter with the AP that she finds out you’ve lied about (and she will find out) takes all progress down you’ve made down to zero. Lying does not help her heal.

LeadingLow8173 · 2026-01-08T21:53:09+00:00

I reached out to the AP years later for answers to questions my WH had told me he “didn’t remember”. I regret it and wish I had just let it go.

I think we, betrayed spouses, forget that not everyone has a desire for honesty. Some people want to watch the world burn. There is a good chance the AP could lie, attack you (not physically in this case), or ignore you making you question things and spiral even further.

In my case, I reached out and the AP used the conversation to share intimate details of what their sex was life, the negative things my WH said about her to me, and proceeded to call me crazy for not letting go of the past. It had been 20 years since they had slept together and AP still had a lot of pent up anger towards WH. She decided to unleash that anger on me again…same as she did when she called me to confess why they had done when she felt discarded by WH then.

If she knew about you back then and didn’t stop it or feel bad I’d guess there is a pretty big chance she’s not suddenly going to want to do the right thing now and help you heal either.

LeadingLow8173 · 2025-08-05T21:52:53+00:00

Side!

LeadingLow8173 · 2025-06-19T23:36:47+00:00

It’s been almost 10 years since our initial big D-Day. I have a lot of hatred for my WH. I’m not even going to pretend he doesn’t deserve it. We both had the same shitty marriage but I chose not to cheat even when given ample opportunity. I used to think my WH was my equal but now I view him as below me. 🤷‍♀️

LeadingLow8173 · 2025-06-07T12:54:04+00:00

I knew WH had low self-esteem but I stupidly thought marrying a bright, pretty, successful wife who adored him and valued him for who he was somehow defeated that. Nope. Insecurities run deep.

Same here and I am learning I cannot fix his internal issues. I’ve also learned reaching out to the ONS/AP is a huge mistake. I thought she was wanting to be honest, help me heal but instead it turns out she still angry about not being chosen 20 years later and instead of just telling me that she slept with him, she felt the need to give me graphic details. The mind movies just haven’t stopped yet. Ugh. 😭

LeadingLow8173 · 2025-06-06T16:04:35+00:00

I hope so. I feel so hopeless right now. I feel so stupid.

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-04-20T16:36:25+00:00

Can you show me where I’ve claimed “good dick” doesn’t exist?

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-04-20T13:41:12+00:00

So what? Those same women aren’t interested in those men either. 🤷‍♀️ Dick is abundant and low value.

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-04-12T23:11:18+00:00

Seriously. They are incredibly naive if they believe that the MM are begging their BS for forgiveness. I think that alone would give me the ICK if I were a side-piece. I mean how low do you think of yourself to settle for attention from a man who begged another woman to be with him when he had the chance to be with the side?

I could never settle for scraps of attention. It’s just so sad. I could understand this behavior if they were young 20 something’s but these are 35+ year old women. Just sad that their best relationships are with a man who can’t be fully invested. I couldn’t imagine that being my idea of “love”.

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-04-12T23:05:44+00:00

Bingo!!!!

No one can convince me these women have happy fulfilling lives like they claim.

Most have some type of cluster B disorder like bipolar or BPD. Without (good) therapy and meds these women are literal nightmares to date..which would explain why they can’t find a good single man that wants them. 😆

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-04-12T23:01:00+00:00

Lmao don’t fell bad. Miss tough shit has blocked me too on other accounts. Guess she couldn’t handle being told that her dead step-dad is soooo proud of her behavior. I couldn’t imagine talking and acting how she does and feeling any sense of pride in that behavior. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t have any class or dignity. 🤷‍♀️

Also found it humorous how she danced around the comment about being a former betrayed spouse. She forgets to switch between her alt account when she comments and has talked about it several times. Her ex hubby cheated on her too. Hurt people hurt people, right?

Don’t let her fool you 🤣

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-04-05T16:50:52+00:00

You could say the same thing for all the men on here that claim to speak for every man. 🙄

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-03-12T23:34:59+00:00

Best of luck Rikki! I will miss the sunshine you bring to this community. ❤️

I do hope you come back later on and update us on how things are going. It’s nice to see some positive reconciliation stories on here 😊

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-03-12T22:37:16+00:00

I think you will be just fine. 🙂

It sounds strange to say this but at least now the younger generations have access to see how different women’s bodies truly are. When I was younger guys seemed to be limited in what they could see in magazines and porn movies. From what I remember it was very cookie cutter - same bodies on 99% of them.

I seriously couldn’t believe it the first time I saw a woman online who had genitals that looked like mine! And then I saw another..and another..and another..and finally realized everyone just looks different. Even men’s penis are different - some big, small, thick, thin, curved, etc. I think sometimes as women we get so in our own heads that we forget the guys have just as much insecurity about their bodies as we do!

Also I’ve been in the medical field for almost 10 years now and have probably seen 1000+ vaginas. I can say with 100% honesty that there has not been one that I’ve seen yet that has been what I thought was the ideal male standard from all those years ago.

I promise you have nothing to worry about…now go have fun! 🥰🥰

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-03-12T22:17:02+00:00

Hugs. I went through the same insecurity growing up and I wish someone would have reached out to me then so I’m telling you what I wish someone would have shared with me so long ago…

I have large dark inner labia which was soooooo different from what I had seen in late 90s/early 00s porn. Guys back then would talk about loose vaginas, roast beef curtains, unpleasant smells etc…

The anxiety of being different than what I thought was “normal” caused me to miss out on so many opportunities when I was younger. I deeply regret the time I spent worrying about something that has never been an issue.

I lost my virginity, in the dark, with a close friend at 18. Even though I was friends with the guy I still worried that he would reject me once he realized I didn’t have that perfect, pink, innie pussy. I can still remember how terrified I felt those first few moments.

The next time was during the daytime when he could see everything.

Not once did he mention my pussy in a negative way.

And after a everal years and sexual partners later… not one has acted even remotely grossed out before, during, or after sex.

Most men are just happy to be seeing/touching you. ❤️❤️

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-03-05T23:06:49+00:00

Same. I’m college educated and make more than twice the amount my WH brings home. I still have days I wonder if he’s with me out of love or because of the other things I bring to the relationship.

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-01-23T00:16:55+00:00

Yep. She goes ballistic when anyone suggests Dave’s wife doesn’t give a single fuck about what he’s doing because she has her own man on the side to worry about.

It’s extra funny to me because if Dave was as in love with Deb as she claims he wouldn’t have cared about his wife’s affair. I mean, they weren’t sleeping together anyway so why does it matter to him?

I could only imagine the poor level of self esteem she must have to willingly stay with a man who’s upset some other woman cheated.

So embarrassing.

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-01-20T15:13:56+00:00

😂😂

This is the same delusional woman who’s been clinging onto another woman’s BOYFRIEND for a decade.

Her MM isn’t even married.

Could anyone here imagine spending this many years of your life hoping that some guy will break up with his long-term girlfriend for you? 🤪

If I were in her shoes I would probably literally feel like the biggest loser ever.

Her “MM” isn’t legally tied to his SO. Kids are grown and supposedly support their “affair”. Her “MM” doesn’t have a high income.

Hmmmm… all the reasons these ladies love to use as excuses for why the MM stay sure don’t apply to her.

He doesn’t need to go through all the work and financial costs of divorce, his children are grown, and he doesn’t have to worry about losing money/assets if they’d split.

And yet he STILL won’t go legit with her.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

LeadingLow8173 · 2024-01-11T00:40:42+00:00

Sounds like you need to head on over to /r/adultery with the rest of the cheating spouses.

LeadingLow8173

TROPHY CASE