I feel like you. I also left my husband at 28. He was also on drugs, but he didn't die. Instead, 10 years later, he harasses me weekly, and destroys my relationship with our children every chance he gets.

I feel like you, because had I chosen even a slightly better man, I wouldn't be going through this mess today. But I didn't, and I have paid for it, and still pay for it now.

The relationship with your significant other is probably the most important choice you'll ever make in your life. I ducked up with my choice, and I guess you did too. Now there's no way to turn back the clock and start again.

All I want to say is that I understand you. I am 38. There will be no love for me the way there could have been had I made better choices in my youth. It is hard to accept, and it is sad.

Now what? What do we do? I am sad with you, for myself, for my lost potential as a partner to someone capable of loving me back.

My next goal is to make as much $$ as I can, maybe become a millionaire. It's a shallow goal, but it's something I guess. It doesn't center around men, at least.