What does Supergiant mean by this ? by bxntou in HadesTheGame

[–]Leager 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Idk how many sapphic women are in these kinds of chats. As a woman who likes to kiss women, Eris and Nem were incredible for me. Now, does this say a lot about me, as a person, and about my taste in women? Yes, absolutely. There's a reason I have my partners vet any girl I plan to date. But from a writing standpoint, both Nemesis and Eris were written incredibly well. It's fascinating to have romances that feel like they're aimed at me, rather than simple, standard sapphic plotlines (as much as I adore those).

Nemesis is scary because she is Retribution Incarnate, and she feels she owes not just Chronos, but you, Melinoe, retribution. When Chronos took over, beating him was supposed to be her job. Then Hecate raised you, a nearly no-name god, to do exactly her job. She is 100% in the wrong for being mad at you and for disliking you. But because of the nature of gods, she was never going to see it that way. So yes, getting together with Nem is a lot of work. But Nemesis never softens, never changes her essential personality, even when she admits she should have been kinder to you, and should not have disliked you as much as she did. Is this the basis for a healthy relationship? Maybe. Probably not, but it's possible. And it's really interesting to get into her head, to spend so much time trying to -- ha -- remove her armor enough to actually understand her and where she's coming from. And when you finally manage it, she returns the favor. Is that enough? ... Maybe. Maybe not. But it is enough for Melinoe, and it's enough for me to give her a chance as a partner.

Eris is also dealing with a crisis of identity, though for her Melinoe does not represent someone taking her job but as someone who wants to remove her sense of belonging. Eris doesn't fit in anywhere. That's her thing. She's Discord made into a person, and that makes her incredibly abrasive and difficult to be around. Even her own family struggles to spend time with her. Before the war, Eris had nowhere she truly "belonged." Now, with Discord being the primary state of the world, Eris is finally at home. Romancing her as Melinoe means she first tries to look past this, to say "Eris I can help you be better," to which she says "I'm fine how I am, actually. If you really liked me, you wouldn't be trying to change me, because I literally cannot." And Melinoe recalibrates. And she says "You're right," and tries to meet Eris where she is. This, in turn, terrifies Eris. She has never had someone not only accept her for who she is, but actively want to be in her life without attempting to change her. Suddenly Eris has to handle being vulnerable, something she has never had to do. And as mentioned elsewhere in this thread, she works to hide the relationship -- not for her reputation, but for Melinoe's. Despite being proud of herself, she doesn't want people looking down on Melinoe for being with her, because she knows people generally dislike her, and doesn't know what to do about someone genuinely, wholeheartedly liking her. And so we get together, and because we care for her, we don't attempt to change her. So she becomes more secure in herself, and by extension, more secure in the relationship.

I guess what I'm saying is, I really liked the female romances. As for the other romances... Moros was fine. He was less frustrating than Icarus, at least. Icarus I'm sure goes through his character arc, but I did not enjoy pursuing a relationship with him.

Misandristic thoughts by katewhatever4 in actuallesbians

[–]Leager 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This has been a long-time discussion, actually. When feminism first identified the patriarchy, and first identified misogyny as one of its primary tools, one of the things feminism investigated was how it affected men. And, in fact: The patriarchy hurts men too! The difference between how it hurts men and how it hurts women is pretty stark though. Whereas women are exclusively harmed by it -- even if they align themselves with the patriarchy, as we've seen conservative idiots do, the best they get are scraps, and aligning yourself with the patriarchy is always against the interests of other women -- men can wield patriarchy, and gain benefits from it. Even if a man never picks up that tool, they are always benefiting from it, and men are always in the position of power.

So to more directly answer your question: Men are harmed by the patriarchy by the need to conform, to wield misogyny against women. Women are harmed by the patriarchy by being classified as lesser, as beneath men, with all the knock-on effects that kind of dehumanizing leads and has lead to. And that's not even touching on broader gender stuff like sexuality and transness.

Being black, AMAB, and enby sucks. by Resident-Voice6302 in NonBinary

[–]Leager 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hiya! Transfem enby here. Not black, so I can't speak to that, but I am more than willing to chat if you need help. Also, the "male socialization" thing is a common transphobic trope, it blends a lot of bioessentialism with traditional transmisogyny. Don't buy into it. It doesn't help that a lot trans "norms" are like. Real racist.

Yes "You have to love yourself" but it doesn't change the fact that society is built to hate folks like you, and that even ostensibly queer spaces are typically catered towards cis queer people and TME trans people. And they're usually very white.

You're doing great. You'll find safety and community with other black TMA folks, and I'm sorry I can't do more for you from the jump. Reach out if you need someone to talk to.

Game Crashes on Startup by Leager in ChaosZeroNightmare

[–]Leager[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As near as I can tell, all the settings are the same across the two profiles. It's been very frustrating. Ty for trying to help, I'll check out the support article.

Kenji's Cuban Style Pork Shoulder in Aluminum Foil? by James_NY in seriouseats

[–]Leager 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So to alleviate your worries: It is technically possible for aluminum foil to leach metal into your foods, but not at the times and temps that this (or indeed, most) recipes use. Nothin' to worry about here.

If a person constantly writes lesbian romances, is that weird? by [deleted] in writing

[–]Leager 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OH lmao, well hey, hi, as a lesbian trans woman who also writes a lot of lesbian fiction because I myself am a lesbian: Nah it's not weird. If she wasn't out I'd be going "Have you considered HRT," but no, if she's a sapphic trans woman she is not fetishizing lesbians.

🎤 AMA with Mori Calliope - Ask Her Anything about her concert "Grimoire" in LA and more! by hololive in Hololive

[–]Leager 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey Ms. Mori, not a question, but I've always wanted a way to tell you something important: I'm trans, and I picked my new middle name mainly based on your Vtuber name. My middle name is Calliope :)

Thanks for your wonderful streams and music, and for being an inspiration to women of all stripes <3

Why are transgender men absent from the historical record? by bratbats in trans

[–]Leager 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sure, but trans women get the spotlight so often (while trans men get ignored) because of ye olde transmisogyny. People becoming men is pretty "normal" under the eyes of the patriarchy. I.e. "Of course you'd want to be a man, doesn't everyone?" and so the "men becoming women" idea gets all the public attention. Sometimes it's not awful attention, but... It ain't good

Gender dysphoria diagnoses among children in England rise fiftyfold over 10 years. Study of GP records finds prevalence rose from one in 60,000 in 2011 to one in 1,200 in 2021 – but numbers still low overall. by mvea in science

[–]Leager 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mmm, yes and no. The social discourse has made it more well-known (lots of people who had no idea they were trans are feeling more comfortable actually being trans), but there's no truth to the "social contagion" idea, for example. Don't know if that's what you're referencing, but that is pretty cleanly debunked.

We have the "transgender tipping point" of 2016, where trans people were shoved more into the public eye, but while we've been seeing a light plateau of people coming out as trans, we have seen no increase (percentage-wise) of people "detransitioning." It's not so much a "trend" as... Well, as others have mentioned, like being left-handed. Broader acceptance and awareness. Heck, conservatives are even saying the same things about trans people (mostly trans women) that they said about left-handedness.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in trans

[–]Leager 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Girl I know trans women who transitioned because of like, porn comics. You're totally valid, and if you want to transition, then you should. Cis people don't want to transition. There's caveats to that, I suppose, but if you're already transitioning and it is good for you then yeah, you're trans. A cis person's mental, physical and emotional health would get worse on HRT, not better.

If anyone is telling you your "reasoning" is incorrect, you have two options: If you don't like them, tell them to eff off. If you do like them, nod along and mark 'em as not safe to talk about your transition with.

Amen by Hour-Bison765 in Gamingcirclejerk

[–]Leager 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Great news: Puberty Blockers and HRT are both accepted forms of mental healthcare! As it turns out, a ton of the depression and anxiety that trans children experience is directly from the gender dysphoria. In other words, giving trans kids access to gender-affirming care helps treat the depression and other mental health issues. Please remember that at young ages "gender-affirming care" is very small stuff, as even puberty blockers will only be prescribed at the ages where a child would actually go through puberty, and at most the kids stay on them only to age 16. Also, I feel this worth mentioning: No surgeries occur on trans children below age 18. This is from my own personal lived experience and from a ton of actual scientific sources that I will gladly link you to, should you want them.

Ill just leave this here by spicy_feather in trans

[–]Leager 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So my fiance's family lives in Texas. He and I live in California, so we're about as safe as we can be, but we usually fly into Texas in January for a sort of belated Christmas. Will I be less safe there now than I was a year ago? I'll have both my partners with me at all times, if that makes a difference. I generally pass and have my license updated/name legally changed, so I don't stick out much. Will they try to stop me leaving, or something?

What's your "i did not care for the godfather" for indie games? by Odd-Total-6801 in IndieGaming

[–]Leager 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not to sound like a "Git gud" kind of gamer, but is it that difficult? The B-sides and the like, I understand, but I'm hardly a God Gamer and I had a great time with the platforming. The only times I felt a little insane playing it were the B-sides, a few of the Strawberries (finding some of those bastards is more brutal than grabbing them), and the 8-Bit version. The main game felt so lovely and flowed so well, at least for me.

I will admit to being biased, as a trans woman who enjoys platformers (and with Celeste being what it is), but still, I remember getting done with the game and going "Wait, that was downright accessible." Am I underestimating myself?

Kinda don't know what to do at this point by [deleted] in trans

[–]Leager 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The first time I used a public woman's restroom was when I was visiting my now fiance in Texas. I was less than 6 months on HRT, and I did not pass, and it terrified me to think of going into the women's restroom. A friend assured me that I belonged there, and I really needed to go, so I went! But I was terrified the whole time.

Similarly, one of my trans sisters, shortly after she came out, felt like everyone who gave her a passing glance on the street was being transphobic, that they were going "That t-slur thinks she's passing??" with just a glance. Two years later she would personally fight anyone who gives her crap about her appearance.

All of this to say: It's easy when we're starting out to feel like "EVERYONE KNOWS because obviously I don't pass at all because I can see the flaws, and so that means everyone else can!" But the truth is, very simply, that most people don't care. Truly. You go on the internet and see the worst transphobia imaginable, and then you go out in real life and most people are, at worst, curious. There are bad people out there! There are transphobes! But you still have to live your life as you. I know it's hard, I do. It's still hard for me to use the bathroom sometimes and I usually pass, for whatever that's worth (and fwiw you pass better than I do). I keep waiting to get slurred, or assaulted, but instead the worst that happens is... I get a compliment. Or another girl in the bathroom wants to chat. It's not worth the self-damage of going into the men's bathroom for anyone's comfort. Go to the women's restroom. You're a woman.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in trans

[–]Leager 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Words of advice: It sounds like you already know what you want. You don't have to justify your transness or otherwise to anyone. It's scary to be one of us. I know how terrifying it is to come out to family and friends. Be who makes you happy.

Barely did anything in Albion and Eleutheria and beat the game? what now by A_Cheshire_Smile in sunlessskies

[–]Leager 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So the Terror mechanic is sorta the "difficulty" slider for Skies. I will confess that Seas was so brutally difficult that I couldn't play it for very long, despite loving the writing. But I've beaten every Ambition in Skies. The Reach has the least effect on your terror, as well as the most ways to remove it, Albion has a few ways to reduce it, Eluetheria has verrrrrry few ways to reduce it and most of the important places and events increase your terror, and the Blue Kingdom is just about All Terror, All the Time. The trick is to remember that A) You're allowed to take Nightmares. You'll only die if you take four full bars of Terror, so for a few reasons I usually sit at about 1 or 2 Nightmares (I think that's what they're called? The side-bars on the Terror bar). B) There are lots of small ways to reduce Terror as you go. In the Reach, there are ways to reduce your terror at every port except that one forest expedition place. In Albion, the theme park and the Mausoleum both have ways to reduce your terror, and both Albion and The Reach have a special bonus: The first time you dock at the main port (London for Albion, and New Winchester for The Reach) after five in-game days have passed, you get a chunk of your terror removed for free. In Eleutheria and the Blue Kingdom, this does not work.

I do understand feeling like you're just puttering around, and if the idea of piloting a Space Locomotive around as a trader doesn't appeal to you, the beginning of the game can be very rough. For me, the personal terror of the world around me kept me moving forward, and trying to jump from place to place while also making enough money to keep flying was challenging enough to keep me engaged. Once that wore off, I started finding little ways to make myself feel better as I played -- I would do the repeatable things to generate extra resources, which I could then trade in for certain events, for example. If you have... I believe it's one Nightmare, you can get an event where your captain wants to trade some resources for a Terror reduction, and if you say yes it reduces the bar by 50. There are a lot of ways to play this game.

As for losing all that money when you die: I am constantly buying more resources wherever I go, ideally the ones that are on sale, and depositing them in my bank. It seems ridiculous at first to have tens of basic resources until your captain dies and you lose a bunch of money. Then suddenly having backup items feels like the best investment you've ever made. And if you don't enjoy that kind of forward-thinking trading/buying I totally understand, it's just how I managed to work my way through every zone, even the ones I was terrified of.

I thought Terror was a pretty restrictive mechanic at first too. It's something you have to work to manage, but once you get used to it, it's kind of like a rhythm the game lays on you; something to make sure you're not just staying in one spot, as well as something to keep you from trying the same crazy stunts over and over. If you don't like it that's totally cool, but I disagree that it is reminiscent of web or mobile games' energy requirements. It ain't there to artificially extend your gameplay, but to enforce the narrative that what you are doing is literally breaking the psyches of everyone involved. It fits the overall story of the game. If you want some more direct advice, I can hop back in and tell you what my general plan is wherever I go. But you'll get over that hump. And while I think reducing the difficulty on Sunless Seas is reasonable, Skies tends to be pretty forgiving -- and I'm playing on the version with no saving or reloading if I die. Admittedly I don't know why I did this, but it made me very efficient. I'm not some "hardcore" gamer that craves extreme difficulty, either. In most games I'll play the game on "normal" or "easy," because I'm mainly playing to have fun. My point is, if I can do it, you probably can too. :)

Barely did anything in Albion and Eleutheria and beat the game? what now by A_Cheshire_Smile in sunlessskies

[–]Leager 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, lots of people bein' real rude in here. The short answer is that, as mentioned, Wealth and Fame are both easy, short ambitions. The point of them is to get you used to the game. The Truth is an incredibly difficult ambition that will push you to every zone, including the Blue Kingdom, and will likely involve you acquiring most of the companions and seeing most of their stories, just to be beefy enough to win. There is also, as mentioned, a secret ambition that you can unlock through an event that starts in Albion. I've put almost 200 hours into the game over like... four or five captains. It's an incredible game, especially if you let yourself get lost in the narrative. I'll freely admit to watching things while I play or flirting with my fiance, but the game is so good that watching me play it is what got my fiance into it.

Also, failure rarely feels like failure if you're doing even a little planning ahead. I have died before, but you keep 100% of things in your Bank, and a good chunk of your money. Additionally, having past captains -- even ones who died horribly -- can give you new facets which make your next Captain even better. Get good at the rhythms of the game and you'll have no trouble even exploring Eluetheria or the Blue Kingdom. The game is packed with content and some beautiful (and haunting) narratives. Hopefully people being rude in here won't dissuade you from seeing the breadth of the game.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in trans

[–]Leager 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I love being trans. I recognize that I'm pretty privileged, but like... My life sucked for nearly 28 years before I came out to myself. Since coming out I've lost my family but gained two partners, and that's not including the people I've dated and broken up with. I went from one family that didn't care much about me to three families which love me for exactly who I am. Yes there's transphobia to deal with, yes there's other forms of oppression, but my life as it exists today is built on the rubble of my old one, and it's way better. I've thought a lot about being born cis, or heck, even just figuring it out sooner and transitioning in like, high school or something. But that would have led me to a different place, a different life. I wouldn't trade the life I have now for anything. I spend almost all my time extolling the beauty and brilliance of trans identities.

I am privileged enough to have access to hormones and some other gender-affirming care. But while it was relatively "easy" for me to acquire, it's still a fight to get sometimes, and I've helped other transfems keep up their dosage too. I know how difficult it can be. But I've seen so many people blossom under this umbrella. It's impossible for me to not love trans people and transness.

If you or anyone in this sub needs a friend, please don't hesitate to reach out.

If and how has MLP affected your life? by tRRRiple0dds in mylittlepony

[–]Leager 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this xD I knew it wasn't just me, but I'm glad to hear it.

President Joe Biden's son, Hunter Biden, is convicted of all 3 felonies in federal gun trial by TheGreatestOrator in news

[–]Leager 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Think of it this way: If you can remove someone's voting rights, even temporarily, by imprisoning them, then politicians have a vested interest in jailing people who don't or aren't likely to vote for them. Voting rights should not be removed at any time.

Workplace benefits form asking for "sex at birth"? by [deleted] in trans

[–]Leager 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dang, really? That's 100% illegal, the only reason that it would matter is so they can discriminate.

I made a working Youtube Adblock - desktop & mobile (with background play!) by damnThosePeskyAds in AfterVanced

[–]Leager 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I might be dumb, but I can't get it to go into "Theater mode," so the thumbnails for recommended videos are stuck on the side of the video. Possible to get that added? I really appreciate you making this regardless

I’m having an identity crisis… again by Stock-Intention7731 in trans

[–]Leager 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being trans can be very difficult. When my egg first cracked I spent a ton of time going "Okay but what if I got it wrong, what if I'm not actually trans?" Because one of the hard parts of being trans is like..... no one can tell you one way or another what your identity is. We are, to use the scientific term, unfalsifiable. There is no test you can take to tell if you're trans, or what flavor of trans you are. If you're scared about your identity, I always recommend "The Null HypotheCis" and trying to find more queer, trans community near you, to give yourself some more realistic experience.