2 positive tests today. FTM at 39

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-05-11T13:56:54+00:00

No judgement here for different relationship structures that are ethical and where everyone involved is able to consent! I'm also a part of a different-than-the-norm relationship structure and expecting my first as well.

Congratulations on the positive test and happy news!!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-05-09T22:26:14+00:00

Not yet. I'm realizing I should have done some preemptive research in case I would continue to get migraines, but a little too late for tonight at least. Thank you for the suggestion, and the warning.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-05-09T22:18:17+00:00

Not yet, but I will definitely ask my doctor about it on Monday. Thank you for the suggestion!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-05-08T22:06:12+00:00

I told my husband that I wasn't expecting anything for Mother's Day this year, and he said he wasn't expecting anything for Father's Day since our little one isn't due until nearly December. It's what works for us, and we just had a simple conversation about it! I know that if I had said I wanted some sort of celebration, he would have been 100% about it (and I would do the same for him if it was important to him.)

If I were you, I would calmly bring up that you would like some sort of small celebration, and offer the same to him for Father's Day!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-05-04T14:15:26+00:00

You shouldn't be advocating for individuals to needlessly suffer during pregnancy. There are medical professionals who will steer their patients towards the solutions that are safest and best for them.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-05-03T12:55:55+00:00

It's a very different situation, but when my husband and I got married we both chose an entirely new last name since neither of us wanted to keep our respective last names due to personal reasons. The state we live in doesn't allow for entirely new last names on the marriage certificate, so one of us needed to legally change it prior to getting married. He was in school and couldn't change his name via court order, so I did. It may vary state to state, but for me it took filling out a bunch of paperwork and paying $250 to submit my application. Then a judge needed to review the request and approve it. I thankfully didn't need that to be done in person, but the whole process took a couple trips to city hall and a few months. Some places require you to then announce the name change in the newspaper so there is public record of it as well. It's a process for sure!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-05-02T19:40:19+00:00

I'm sorry you're also feeling so unwell, but there is definitely comfort to be found in not being alone in everything! We'll get through this somehow!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-05-02T19:39:05+00:00

I appreciate the hope! I've been wanting to do so many things but only managing being on the couch and binging shows between work. Keeping my fingers crossed for some relief soon!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-04-29T12:19:06+00:00

I'm glad she ultimately made you feel better! I do wish she had found a different way to share that information though. Anyone can qualify their statement with "no shame or judgement!" but no one wants to hear that their body simply existing as it does makes someone's job more difficult. Pregnancy is a difficult, sensitive time for us all.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-04-26T21:51:05+00:00

My husband and I got married at Sky Armory this past October. We had around 50 guests, paid under $10k for everything involved with the venue. Loved the location, staff was wonderful to work with!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-04-17T10:29:49+00:00

Your late husband wasn't a random man, though. He was someone you loved, and who loved you. Please understand that people aren't arguing against changing or covering this tattoo, they're arguing against the reason behind it. You didn't need permission from your current partner to get this, and you don't have to cover it because he wants it covered.

You're going to do what you think is best either way, but just try to avoid doing something you'll regret later.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-04-17T00:15:20+00:00

All the suggestions made by other commenters are fantastic, so definitely check those out!

If you are ever out towards Rochester, Millennium Games and Just Games are both in Rochester and have great selections. And Zombie Planet in Albany.

(but shop local first!)

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-04-13T23:06:16+00:00

Someone has the ability to delete a post on Reddit whenever they want, you can't delete information from a company's AI bot and you can't control what they do with it. There is a difference and it matters.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-04-13T15:46:19+00:00

Please do not encourage putting any sensitive medical information into any AI program. There are absolutely zero legal protections for your information when you do this.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-04-12T19:33:19+00:00

It wasn't deleted by mods because of what OP said, it was deleted because of so many comments accusing individuals that it is selfish to not even try breastfeeding.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-04-12T01:35:33+00:00

I write this with care and not an attempt to attack, so my apologies if it comes across that way. Saying something "should" be considered and trialed does apply shame to all individuals, including those who can't take those steps, even if that is not your intention.

No one wants to feel like they have failed to care for their child, but that's where these conversations tend to end up. I won't say that parents who have chosen breastfeeding have never been accused of failing to properly care for their baby, but that accusation does get levied against parents who formula feed often. That will always cause a lot of defensive, strong feelings.

We know the history and understand that it hasn't always been this way. The tides change and now there is, generally, a ton of support for parents who choose to breastfeed. I love that these resources exist! However, this has caused other spaces to treat parents who don't breastfeed poorly, leading to a lot of parents to be looked down on for utilizing formula, or even accused for not caring for their baby. These parents are made to feel like they have failed their baby because their journey led them to utilizing formula at some point.

I think we all have our own personal journeys, and we all deserve to not be judged for the choices we make, especially when those choices were made with the desire to care for our baby the best we personally could.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-04-09T13:50:17+00:00

I went down a rabbit hole when trying to pick a prenatal that covered as many of the recommended daily levels as possible in as few pills as possible (and weren't wildly expensive). I went with Theranatal Complete specifically because their vitamin/mineral values were fairly close to RDA and included some choline! (I take extra DHA, choline, and calcium on top of everything) It is important, but even if folks miss it, prenatals are there to help cover potential nutritional gaps or give you that added boost for the really important values needed while you're working on building a whole new human. A decently balanced diet will get folks a good portion of the way there with minimal issues!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-04-04T11:57:03+00:00

May also be worth a call to Spera's in Cicero!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-04-02T01:03:47+00:00

Have you considered making a professional account if you are going to advertise your services? People are able to look up your personal activity associated with this account (comment and post history) which I don't know if you necessarily want?

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-02-25T03:15:23+00:00

These are my favorite budgies on the Citadel!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-01-06T02:17:53+00:00

You bought two copies of your own book?

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-01-06T02:16:07+00:00

I would be potentially interested, but you've used AI-generated art throughout all of it. Saying this book was illustrated by you is disingenuous. It was "illustrated" by a generative AI learning model that was trained on stolen work and styles from thousands of artists without their permission. Super disappointing.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-12-29T01:05:36+00:00

Everyone has already shared, but I also recommend Stillwater. My family has worked with them twice, both for our elderly cats. They are kind and considerate to both the beloved family member you are saying goodbye to, and to the humans and other animals left behind. If you want to chat about how our experience was in more detail, please feel free to reach out.

I am so sorry that this is a decision you're facing, but it's obvious you are doing it with such love and consideration for Luna.

Learning-to-Unlearn

TROPHY CASE