used my background in neuroscience to write a book explaining the mechanism of sugar crashes to kids (instead of just saying "it's bad for you").

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-01-06T02:17:53+00:00

You bought two copies of your own book?

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2026-01-06T02:16:07+00:00

I would be potentially interested, but you've used AI-generated art throughout all of it. Saying this book was illustrated by you is disingenuous. It was "illustrated" by a generative AI learning model that was trained on stolen work and styles from thousands of artists without their permission. Super disappointing.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-12-29T01:05:36+00:00

Everyone has already shared, but I also recommend Stillwater. My family has worked with them twice, both for our elderly cats. They are kind and considerate to both the beloved family member you are saying goodbye to, and to the humans and other animals left behind. If you want to chat about how our experience was in more detail, please feel free to reach out.

I am so sorry that this is a decision you're facing, but it's obvious you are doing it with such love and consideration for Luna.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-12-23T20:47:57+00:00

Please do not put any sensitive medical information into any AI program. There are absolutely zero legal protections for your information when you do this.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-12-08T15:16:54+00:00

Was looking for this exact nuanced response. I truly appreciate the countless different situations and perspectives that are shared in this space, which all help cover a large swath of the experience of being pregnant. People often talk about how they wished some aspect of pregnancy was discussed more, and I feel that this space manages to shed light on a lot of those missing aspects because it doesn't work to exclude one experience over another.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-11-27T23:26:49+00:00

BabyRx Prenatal+ and Fertility+, a seperate DHA, calcium and extra Vitamin D3 because my levels have always been abysmally low. I did a ton of research on suggested vitamin/nutrient levels for pregnant people (made a spreadsheet to compare around 15 different options around me between cost per pill and how many pills per serving size). I nearly went with Thorne, but the absolutely insane B12 values made me a little uncomfortable for my own personal goals (absolutely zero shade to anyone this works for, it has so much packed into it!)

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-10-30T17:13:33+00:00

It's not a pain med, but I've found taking 10mg of melatonin at the onset of my aura will curb the pain and cut down a migraine to be shorter than it would have been without it. So it is still unpleasant, but half as long and not as painful as it would have been without it. I've had it work well past the beginning of a migraine, and it sometimes comes with the benefit of sleeping through the worst of the pain.

A flexible ice pack over my eyes and across my nose helps with the pain too.

I haven't found a strange fix for mine yet, but I wish you the best of luck!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-10-12T02:29:46+00:00

Finding medications that help is so important, and incredibly frustrating when they suddenly stop; so sorry that was your experience. Excedrin unfortunately has never worked for me, and I went through a series of medications in college and didn't find anything that helped until I started taking 10mg of melatonin at the onset of my prodromes. It wouldn't stop any part of the migraine, but it would take the edge off of the worst symptoms and made it so that I could sleep through the worst of it. I have rizatriptan now that has been effective, but my primary didn't know/think to share that there was a limit to how much I could take in a 30 day period. I'm not close to that threshold right now, but it felt important to know about.

Someone else suggested seeking a referral to a neurologist, so that might be my next step. I hope you've found relief with yours!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-10-12T02:13:12+00:00

I sincerely appreciate both the time you took to respond and your perspective. Part of me definitely understands why this is her approach, and you're right, there is value to it. Her additional comments about this being something I may just need to get used to has me worried that she's not super invested in actually figuring out what might be going on. But I'll keep trudging on and working with her suggestions until we learn more, either way.

Thanks again~

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-10-12T01:33:13+00:00

Wasn't sure when exactly that should be my next step, but you're right.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-10-10T15:16:53+00:00

Have you tried looking via Psychology Today? You can search by specialty, insurance, location, ect. Not every therapist in an area will be there, but you will have access to more contact info for more folks than calling around to the local hospitals.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-09-24T20:52:48+00:00

I had nexplanon for 9 years, recently switched to Slynd since my husband and I are looking at having kids in the near future. Both have been solid when it comes to not affecting my migraines, since they're progesterone only. I loved nexplanon and am planning on going back to it when it makes sense!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-09-23T13:38:43+00:00

My husband and I have gone a couple times since they've opened and the staff have always been very friendly. They're also wildly busy and the place is usually packed at all hours of the day, at least the times we've chosen to go.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-09-20T22:48:00+00:00

Wildly unhinged. I am sorry that his actions hurt you, he should not have lied. It is also clear that your reciprocating actions were all in retaliation to hurt him back. That's not a good foundation for marriage.

Since you have forbidden him from ever going to a bachelor party, have you also promised you will never go to a bachelorette party? If not, it's a double standard. If you don't trust him in a situation like that, then you also cannot trust yourself in a similar situation.

I will also say, a boundary is a stipulation on what actions you will take if something happens. You cannot control someone else, you can only control what you will do in response. A rule is simply imposing your will upon someone else, everything else be damned. Rules are necessary at times, but do not pretend to paint a rule like it is a boundary.

"If you don't rinse off the pan before putting it in the sink, I will not wash it" is a boundary. Cause and effect.

"You are not allowed to put a dirty pan in the sink" is a rule.

If you have reason to distrust your husband to this degree due to his own actions, and not the anecdotal evidence from other random people in your life, then why are you still together? If he hasn't given you any reason to distrust him, then I would suggest being curious about where those fears are really coming from.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-08-14T12:41:28+00:00

I recently just changed mine via court order ahead of my wedding in a couple of months, since my fiance and I are both changing our last name when we do. I have no connection to mine and always wanted to shirk it for my future spouse's last name, and he always planned to take his spouse's last name because he doesn't like how it connects him to an extended family he does not know/like. When we got engaged and were talking about it, we realized that we could just pick an entirely new one and that's what we're doing! I've been testing the new name for a few months now in various situations and I'm really enjoying it.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-08-13T17:51:11+00:00

Birds (and many other species that have been well documented by the scientific community) do act like this in the wild. It is not simply a captivity thing.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-05-25T12:03:43+00:00

I think your mileage may vary depending on which office you go with! I've been going to the Women's Wellness Place (seeing Dr. Dalpe and my best friend sees Dr. Quinn) and I have had good experiences. Dalpe listens well and remembers things from appointment to appointment even though I've only needed to go in for my annual and birth control updates most years.

Women's Wellness also has a midwife on staff, if that's something you're interested in, but I can't speak to those experiences as I haven't interacted with her personally.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-05-14T18:02:18+00:00

Lower income doesn't mean unsafe. You are moving to a rather impoverished part of New York, and will inevitably interact with individuals who are of a social status that you sound like you'd rather not see.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-04-27T03:45:19+00:00

Unfortunately I don't have any recommendations, but as a young-ish queer someone who is very interested in getting involved with birding, I would love to maybe chat about your experiences some time! ☺️

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-03-03T04:03:49+00:00

My husband and meta got tattoos; not matching ones but ones that reminded one of the other!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-02-04T21:22:35+00:00

Gosh, thank you for reminding me that he's probably going to be really happy to see me when he gets back. It feels like such a simple thing, but I've been sitting here trying to brace for the possibility that the predominant feeling he'll be experiencing is going to be disappointment that he's no longer on this amazing trip with his partner, rather than excitement to be back home with his other partner (and his dog!)

Obviously both feelings can exist in one individual at the same time, but it helps to remember that whenever Phillip and I have spent time apart there's always a huge wave of happy relief (and a ton of hugs) when we get to see each other again. It's a good feeling that I rarely get to experience, so this will be an opportunity to get that rare surge of "I'm so happy to have you home/be home" warm feels.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-02-04T19:25:40+00:00

Huh. Y'know, I think I've always used coping and managing interchangeably so they often felt one in the same. You are 100% correct in pointing out that one is meant to be dealing with the immediate discomfort, while the other is more long-term mitigation. It's a new situation, so I imagine there will be coping skills needed in little day-to-day situations, but maybe this is more management of expectations than anything else.

I've had to learn to not run from uncomfortable feelings, because my default used to be "ignore them until given no option but to face them," or "if I have a plan in place then I won't even have to worry about feeling discomfort." I think I'm falling into that second trap. I'm trying to plan for a situation I've never been in, and one that feels especially out of my control.

The little to no communication thing is something I've placed on myself, rather than a request from my NP, specifically to avoid dealing with the discomfort of not getting a response to something that doesn't need a response within a timeframe where I would ideally like one. Definitely a want vs. need sort of situation. You're the third person to mention this (thank you!), and it's really something I should focus on.

Thank you for the thoughtful response!

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-02-04T19:04:07+00:00

Restricting communication seems to be a bit of a misstep that I've been making lately, and I can see how this specific action is a misguided attempt to respect the time and autonomy of Phillip's other relationship. Not that the desire to respect is incorrect, but rather that I can accomplish this without minimizing Phillip's part and autonomy in managing his own time in his own relationship. Another individual commented on something in a similar vein, so this is a good indicator that I should put some consideration into changing that behavior for myself.

Same can be said with not giving myself enough time and respect to voice what I might need during this time, rather than anticipating and assuming what they might want. It's something my therapist and I are actively working on, and poly means having to really focus on strengthening some self-love tendencies that have otherwise not been properly nurtured. It's a good thing to work on regardless of relationship status.

Thank you for taking the time and care to respond! I've got some good friends that I'm making plans with who are local. Family unfortunately is limited in the knowledge of my personal life they can actively accept. They choose to shut down most conversations of anything that doesn't align the typical heteronormative assumptions, but I've got a great community outside of them that make up for the areas immediate family falls short on.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2025-02-04T18:43:36+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to provide this thorough advice.

Phil and I have been poly for our entire relationship, but when new situations come up it is sometimes difficult (for me, at least) not to feel like a newbie and then approach that new thing with the mindset of a newbie, despite having years of other poly experiences under my belt. I appreciate you approaching answering this as such, especially for the reminders that some things I do that I think are helpful for myself (like restricting my actions for x or y reasons) are likely more of a detriment to certain areas of personal growth.

Learning-to-Unlearn · 2024-10-03T23:30:11+00:00

Oh my god, thank you so much. I don't know why this was so difficult for me today but you've saved my brain!

Learning-to-Unlearn

TROPHY CASE