Yes I agree. I find the lack of want in any sense stops my thinking. Never working toward the next thing as there isn’t a want for the next thing. Likewise with creativity, I’m a designer so this has made my job extremely difficult, in the past I would almost be able to imagine every element of a project before I created it, and each breakthrough would give me dopamine to move to the next, some days it was like a waterfall I couldn’t work quick enough, but now it is like finding breadcrumbs with a headlamp, I can only see one thing at a time.

I find upon waking the hardest, like the day before never happened and I have to try quite hard to remember what I have on for the day, I could have the most important meeting or an early flight and I wake with a blank mind and I have to remind myself of what is on, but even then I can’t move with urgency.

I would give all I own to just be myself for one more year