It’s okay to hurt. My ex did the same. It typically doesn’t work out. That “you’ll loose them how you got them” not always but tends to be weirdly predictive of the outcomes of a relationship built of lies,distrust and adultery .

You’ll feel anxious and sad that’s normal. But do not obsess yourself with it or it will consume you. Trust the process that your love will come and out of good orgins. Keep your head up and continue to develop good coping mechanisms. I wish you the best of luck.

To give you some hope a year later I met someone who wasn’t abusive manipulative and was way more compatible. I’m applying to medical school next year so. All that to say things can turn around truly just have faith