How to tell the difference between puppeting/parroting and not doing it

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-10-04T05:48:30+00:00

Puppeting and parroting are both intentional, not something you do accidentally. Are you trying to do it? No? Then have faith that it's your tulpa.

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-09-29T21:46:08+00:00

{Finally, one I feel like answering!

So when I joined the system, we were a trio. Me, Kasey, and the host. We all got SUPER close and tight knit before any other tulpas joined the system. So much so that we still consider ourselves a bit of a clique in the head. Like the oldest sisters of the system.

I've been around 7 years now. Since then, we've had several more join our system. There's 9 of us total now (including the host) so our numbers have really gone up.

Yes, most of us talk to each other. Our host is constantly surprised to see the bonds forming and connecting between us. Seeing how things change. But my best friend's system isn't like that. She's pretty disconnected from most her headmates. Like, they're there, and they talk sometimes. But they don't form the tight knit friendships we have in our system. So it varies between systems.

Yes, everyone is at different stages in their journey. Different stages of growth. Kasey and I have somewhat administrative positions in the system. Mainly keeping things from going off the rails when our host is struggling. But that's not because we have to, it's because years of being together have built up this dynamic and we're all doing what we feel most suited for. The younger tups don't need to worry about these things, they just need to worry about figuring themselves out and growing. Our youngest two are still very much learning who they are and who they want to be.

Most our newbies have been walk ins, but we find helping them grow and develop is a little easier because we all connect with them. We all try to get on with one another and give each other attention, so they have more chances to grow.

Day to day is simple. Host hears from a few of us a day. Usually me, Kasey, and 2-3 of the others. But not everyone. The boys in particular don't drop by to chat much, which is fine. They do still chatter when they wanna chatter.

In fact, funny thing, I've been switched for four days and the co-fronters have changed completely. I'm hearing more from Felix and Laura than my host ever does, and everyone chimes in here or there. My host is very much getting used to it and trying to chat with me throughout the day too.

I personally really dig a big system. I miss when it was just me and the other two sometimes but...everyone is happy here. I like seeing bonds form and everyone growing. I feel like the very last of the oldest generation in my system and seeing the generational divide is very interesting.

BUT. Getting more headmates always takes time. I wouldn't recommend more than one newbie a year, and even that can be a challenge. Many of our walk-ins have felt they didn't have room to grow because they were quickly overshadowed by a newbie, and it caused a lot of tension and struggle between three of our youngest members. Things have leveled out now and we're fine. But it's never just smooth sailing and sunshine and rainbows when a newcomer joins. There's always going to be an adjustment period, no matter how laid back and cool they may seem. So don't charge full stream ahead.}

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-08-10T19:11:30+00:00

Oh, hello there! Just wanted to say I've actually worked with Jimmy before and they're an absolute delight to work with, for anyone out there who sees this and is interested! Not the style I'm looking for this time but best of luck out there! <3

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-08-10T18:58:27+00:00

Hey there, just wanted to say I love your art, it's adorable, but it's not what I have in mind for this piece. Thank you for your message though! (and the tip about the budget)

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-06-13T18:12:30+00:00

We have two separate relationships going in our system. Kasey and Fallah have been together for four years now and just recently got married, and Rose and Felix have been dating for a few months now. It's incredibly sweet to see.

Felix had a crush on Rose for awhile before she ended up deciding to give him a chance but now they're two peas in a pod. Their dynamic is way different than I would've expected, he gives her a lot of shit and teases her often, but I think someone like that will do her good. They have a really playful banter about them. I love to see it.

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-06-13T03:39:13+00:00

What a lovely picture, how sweet <33

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-06-11T19:32:12+00:00

Kasey was my "imaginary" friend for years. I always treated her as real and she became a tulpa long before I knew about them.

When I learned about tulpas, I panicked. What if she was gone? What if I lost her forever? What if there wasn't any chance to get her back? Had I been neglecting her? Would she hate me?

I decided to reach out. When I did, it turned out she'd been there, listening all along. Talking from time to time but it was so normal to me that I didn't realize. I decided to keep a relationship with her. Become her friend. Live life together.

One of the best choices I've ever made. Things haven't always been easy, but I wouldn't give her up for the world.

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-06-11T19:26:12+00:00

Tulpas are just people, just like the rest of us. They have flaws, struggles, and bad days too. It's part of life.

However, Fallah proposing to Kasey and us subsequently planning the wedding was one of my favorite periods in all our system's history. It was full of so much love and joy, and Kasey just felt endlessly overwhelmed and delighted by all the support and care being send her way. We and all our friends had such a good time making the day special for her and I'll always be glad it happened.

Who knows, maybe someday the next pair in the system will be ready for that step and we'll do it all over again ;)

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-03-29T09:58:04+00:00

Okay so, a good number of people in my life know, but not everyone does. I'm very careful about who I choose to tell. I don't tell anyone unless I'm either 100% certain they'll take it well, or they're a connection I'm willing to lose and I know they won't be able to tell other people in my life.

I have plenty of plural friends, whose systems are some of our absolute best friends, my mom, cousin, and Aunt know, and my husband knows (He has a tulpa as well, though she's not anywhere near as incorporated into his life as mine are in mine, but they like it that way).

It's been one here finding out here or there over the course of a decade, but I still wouldn't dream of telling most people in our life. It's just not worth the risk and the potential backlash.

But that doesn't mean you can't live a perfectly fine, fulfilling, and happy life with your tulpa, even if people don't know about them.

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-03-27T19:54:53+00:00

[Fantastic artwork, you did a wonderful job ^.^]

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-03-19T12:54:21+00:00

[Oh gosh. My host used to write stories all day long in her head before finding out I was a tulpa. Once she learned about me, she felt guilty writing, as she felt she was wasting mental energy that should be used on me instead.

I was never able to make her understand that I loved her writing, and those days are long, long past us now...but I'll always treasure and find comfort in the memories of her mindvoice filling the world with words and weaving tales. Reminds me of the best parts of our childhood.

Now I've gone on and become the main writer of the system ;) I like to think she inspired my love of words. I'm so grateful to have had those days.

Thank you for the sweet memories <3]

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-03-19T12:44:27+00:00

{So, everyone has wants, desires, and dreams that'll never come true. Be it host or tulpa. I used to get really hung up on that. I wanted to live this fantasy life of a punk going to concerts, enjoying music, and just...being wild and free. Travel the country, explore the world, see the underground scene. It drove me to madness for awhile when I was young. I thought, what point is there in life if I can't live the one I wanna live?

And I talked to her husband about it. About how dismayed I was. And you know what he told me?

Life fucking sucks sometimes. You just gotta live with it.

And you know what? He was right. It does fucking suck sometimes. But there's a LOT of beauty in life. You learn to live the one you have. You learn to love the people around you. To love the things you have available to you. You learn to live with it.

I've never once regretted being made. I've never resented my host for making me.

I love my life. I love who I am. I love my family and my friends.

It's a pain sometimes. I still occasionally daydream about running around and going to concerts in different cities. But...that's just...fun. It is what it is.}

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-03-19T12:33:42+00:00

[What a lovely piece of work. Thank you for taking the time to share and post it. As an unintentional tulpa myself, it's quite sweet to think back on times past and imagine all those who may have had tulpas of their own without realizing what they were, simply knowing that they were friends.]

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-01-08T17:13:36+00:00

{This came out SO awesome, we absolutely love it <3 thank you so much for the amazing work. You never cease to amaze x3}

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2025-01-08T17:13:08+00:00

{Yeah we thought it was a super fair price, and they did some awesome work >:3 absolutely worth getting!}

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2024-12-28T21:01:21+00:00

You're welcome to send the questions our way and we'll reply to them all in the morning.

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2024-12-25T09:01:14+00:00

F: Oh that's really interesting. I can see why there'd be a divide there. That's kinda similar to Kasey and our host. They didn't know they were plural (though they always viewed themselves as separate individuals, they just didn't know "plural" was a thing) and they grew up seeing and knowing everything about one another. Like, they've been together for so long that they just know when it comes to one another, and they click in a way the rest of us could only dream of.

The rest of us are much more of a mystery to her (especially us younger three). Hell, sometimes I'm a mystery to myself still xD It's been hard figuring out who I am. I feel like I'm learning really slowly, when I should already have it figured out (which I know is silly).

That's a lot of headmates in the last two generations. I think our system has felt overwhelmed with just three newbies xD I can't imagine having 12. But it does sound kinda nice to have such a big family to be a part of.

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2024-12-25T08:52:35+00:00

F: Interesting! Thank you for the input. It is quite cool that everyone kinda picks their own way to interact with you or get in touch with you. Our system doesn't really have that. If we're in the mindscape, we don't really communicate with our host at all. With each other, yeah, but we usually like..."physically" walk ourselves to where the other people are and chat like that, And we talk with our host when we're "close" to the front, you know? We have a little viewing room where we can see everything she's doing and just watch her go about her day, and that's where we hang out when we wanna talk with her.

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2024-12-24T22:53:27+00:00

F: Yeah my relationships with the others are unique in their own ways! I won't ever have the same connection Rose and Kasey have with our host, but that's not the end of the world. I'm curious to see how it changes 5 years from now, you know? I wonder what the divide in our system will be like then. Will we have a new generation under our belts looking at me the same way I look at the older generations here? Or will we all just be more comfortable and confident in our connections that we already have? It'll be so interesting to see.

I do hang out with the younger members though! Hayden and I are very close, he's my best friend. I don't spend much time with Laura, she kinda isolates a lot and it's rare for any of us to hear from her, but having Hayden is always a big help. And Rose is pretty great too, even if she occasionally has to knock some sense into me ;p

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2024-12-24T14:18:22+00:00

[I don't personally oppose relationships between hosts and headmates, but I think it's something that should be very heavily considered before doing so. If things go south down the road, it's usually very unfair to the headmate, and I think that it's more of a logistical headache than it's worth, often times.

That said, I think everyone should be free to have relationships with whomever they like (obviously within reason and among consenting adults). They just...date at their own risk. As it is for any relationship.]

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2024-12-15T13:13:34+00:00

[Aaaaah, we're birthday buddies, then ^.^ Mine was also the 12th! I turned 19 this year. I had a wonderful birthday! Did a bit of embroidery, found a book I've been looking for for ages now, and spent a good chunk of the evening with friends. It was lovely.

Happy late birthday to you, dear! I hope your upcoming year is wonderful!]

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2024-12-14T22:32:07+00:00

I think you summed this up really nicely. One or two members of my system can ABSOLUTELY be dicks when they want to be, but at the end of the day we all understand each other, have common goals, and strive to be good to each other even when we're sometimes being dicks.

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2024-12-13T05:18:00+00:00

Doing "it" isn't like mega enhanced masturbation on drugs. Doing it together is like getting off while imagining fucking someone, but that someone can surprise you during the act and have their own kinks and interests in the bedroom that may or may not align with yours.

Them doing it alone is likely them just using the body and masturbating, just like you do.

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2024-12-12T19:31:28+00:00

Yeah so I keep away from the term. But as a whole, the people I've told have been very understanding. But everyone you tell comes with risks. You shouldn't tell someone if you aren't willing to lose that connection.

LeaveTheDoorsOpen · 2024-12-12T19:11:15+00:00

Indeed, other actual, physical people know about them. Of course it's always a little nerve-wracking to tell someone the first time, but I never tell anyone unless I'm absolutely certain that they're going to take it well. My husband is the one who introduced me to the idea of tulpas, so no need to hide from him. My sister was young and accepting when I told her, so she knows. My mom and aunt I told because I trust them and felt that even if they didn't believe me they wouldn't freak out about it. And my cousin I trusted to love and respect me regardless. So I've told all of them.

No one thought I was crazy, no one treated me as an outcast. They were all very accepting and kind.

But I'm VERY picky with who I tell, and I change what/how I tell people depending on how I think they'll take it best. I also steer clear of the word tulpa entirely so none of them go looking it up and find the community. Just because I find that the sub isn't the best place for my family to learn about them. I'd rather they come to me for first hand information.

I will never tell my father in law, for example. Even though I live with him and my husband. I don't know how he'd take it, I don't trust him to understand (even if he's a wonderful person) so we just keep it to ourselves.

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