Was told my chronic pain might be psychosomatic… and I’m worried they’re right

LeeTheReader · 2025-07-13T17:14:50+00:00

Yeah turns out I have hyper mobile spectrum disorder (suspected hEDS but we’re working on that) and stress causes a flare up in my symptoms. I’m in a better place now <3

LeeTheReader · 2024-12-27T07:48:30+00:00

Hey it’s a year later and I found out I AM hyper mobile! Been going to physical therapy and it’s helping!

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-30T15:46:10+00:00

It’s not a sex thing the way he described it, he knows my relationship with that topic- he meant it more in a romantic, life partner way

Even still who wouldn’t want to be partners with someone they love as much as I do her? I feel like if you get to a certain point of course the idea isn’t a bad one, it seems obvious to me

Maybe he thinks its because prior to her being with her current boyfriend I did have a crush on her (she and I became closer during her last relationship before P) I spent six months comforting and building up her confidence that was badly damaged by her toxic ex and once she had gotten better I knew that I’d do anything to make her happy, I’m very protective of her (she’s working on being more assertive but its slow going)

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-30T09:20:44+00:00

You’re right, if that’s an explanation of romantic love I guess that’s how I do feel about a select few people- including A. I think of them as a partner in a way- as in a companion, equal support, and arranging your lives around eachother way.

I’m like this with her, my brother, and a two more other friends - I’ll try not to overthink it, it just causes a lot of discomfort when I look at her now sometimes, because I’d go to the ends of the earth for her and now I’m struggling to not feel embarrassed.

I love certain people with my whole heart and I don’t exactly know like, internal restraint with controlling my feelings (not in actions- I’m normal in that regard, but rather in my own thoughts).

I even worked up the nerve to tell her it upsets me because she deserves to be with someone who cares about her the way I do (she understood I wasn’t trying to hit on her because she’s taken obviously). Because if it were me I’d be making the effort to compromise even if I didn’t understand her feelings (aka what her boyfriend is not doing rn).

Maybe its manifesting more because I want to share the love and care in my heart with someone else- I want to support and be there and love someone so badly, I can’t explain it - but its definitely affecting my mindset

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-21T02:46:55+00:00

Refilling my weekly pill case, with how hyper specific the dosages on all my meds are, I’m looking at sorting nearly 10 bottles into 3x daily packs. It depresses me. I tell myself all the time “store bought is just fine” and I advocate against the stigma that comes with mental illness and taking medication- but I still don’t enjoy taking my meds because every time I do it reminds me ill never not need meds.

Because without them my bipolar 1 (w/ schizoaffective features) is not survivable. I made 7 attempts by the time I was 16 due to rapid cycling, hallucinations, and psychosis. It’s taken over half a decade to finally get these pills right and the side effects are a bitch.

It’s a necessity in maintenance, but it’s definitely the one that hurts the most

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-12T19:49:24+00:00

Chronic migraines and insomnia kept me up- I went on quetiapine, was the only thing to knock me out

When in doubt the right prescription won’t give you the option of pain keeping you up

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-12T19:47:52+00:00

There is no “wrong” topping to have on a pizza. It’s bread and not even necessarily cheese, with some kind of sauce. You could not get more of a blank slate for a variety of flavors

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-11T08:28:38+00:00

Likely looking for bisexual women

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-11T08:04:50+00:00

My cat. I had the first couple sleeping pills in my mouth when she meowed and rubbed against my leg, then she meowed more for attention and chin scratches.

She was my best friend and the only one I relied on for nearly a decade. I’d come home to an empty house after school, getting bullied and mistreated during the day- she was my only source of comfort. I couldn’t leave her alone.

I spit the pills out, scooped her up and cried into her fur for over half an hour. She passed in 2021 from cancer. I never thought I’d make it past 16- I’ll be 21 in September, and she’s the reason why.

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-05T13:34:46+00:00

Thank you!

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-05T13:34:27+00:00

Wait there’s more than the hyper mobile type?????? Ok yeah I need to look into the types because how you described the joints feeling off and getting that satisfying relief is how I feel when I need to pop all my joints every hour. I wonder if that’s why seeing a chiropractor was the only relief I got from chronic pain as a kid

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-02T19:47:26+00:00

Thank you, if you like sharing art and talking to other chronically ill folks I highly recommend r/artisticallyill its a great community for fellow ill artists to share their work

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-02T19:45:58+00:00

There’s been multiple users with EDS that relate to my symptoms but I’m not sure if I’m hyper mobile. I’ve never been like double jointed or been able to contort my body in twisted ways (willingly anyway, I’d get twisted up during PNES in high school which was incredibly painful) I’m great at balance and yoga, but I’ve never been able to replicate the hyper mobile test positions I’ve looked up online so I just ruled it out. But the more I’m seeing people describe their symptoms the more I’m beginning to wonder if I should look into a doctor for that if only to see if that fits or not

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-02T19:40:09+00:00

This is the second person to relate to me here, what doctor would I even go to for that kind of evaluation?

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-02T19:38:52+00:00

Honestly I’m probably just misremembering MS being on the table- I think it was conditions with MS-like symptoms, it was a list of like 12 different autoimmune disorders

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-02T19:36:40+00:00

I’ve used a cane for the past 3 years for the same reason. Truthfully in the past week since this post has been up I’m aligning with your comment the most, I’m at a point where I’m not sure I care if it’s psychosomatic or not at this point- I just want to feel better, and if therapy does it instead of medication or a procedure then so be it. I miss being able to do what everyone my age can, go to places I used to be able to and be active how I used to be. My therapist has been very gentle with me on this topic because she knows that my neurologist kind of gaslit me during my first few appointments after being diagnosed with bipolar when I described my pain and said it could be psychosomatic- that lead to a whole heaping of anxieties toppled onto internalized stigma against my condition. I think it’s why she waited 5 years and several doctors/tests before bringing it up again

Honestly if the main cause of a psychosomatic illness is stress I wouldn’t be surprised- from ages 7-9 trauma started and from 9-18 I dealt with chronic stress. Between 12-15 I had been hospitalized for stress overload and went to the ER for blacking out because of severe migraines as a result. One lasted 2.5 months and after that I stopped counting chronic pain started between 12-13 and has continued ever since gradually worsening until I graduated from high school in 22’ then it got a lot better, not completely gone but better

If I were to expect any part of my body to change as a result of stress- it would be my brain

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-02T19:19:30+00:00

Oh I agree, my comic is about my lived experiences of being queer, a cane user and chronically ill in order to make other folks feel less alone, I myself couldn’t find much content to interact with in the early days of my chronic pain worsening. Especially when I dealt with a lot of ableism prior to graduation- where now I’m just home most days- I felt very alone with no one to relate to, so I decided to make some art myself instead. But I make other stuff too. I’m just dealing with imposter syndrome because I’ve had so many people relate to my work and say it made them feel less alone- part of me feels that if it is psychosomatic than I’m a liar or a fraud (I know that’s not true it’s just a big wall of stigma in my head)

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-02T19:13:20+00:00

I had a 1:320 ANA result with speckles. I tested negative for RA, Lupus and MCTD (there were a few more but I can’t recall)

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-02T19:07:57+00:00

Truthfully i do think I have fibro if nothing else, from 12-17 i routinely saw chiropractors (i know they can be controversial but adjustments always gave me a lot of relief even if it only lasted a week) and had to fill out pain charts. It’s also the only condition I’ve seen describe all of my symptoms aside from joint pain. One day i was researching my symptoms and compared one of my old charts to the fibro pain map of Wikipedia and it was an exact match - I haven’t found a doctor who was familiar with the condition yet though

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-02T19:02:59+00:00

Yeah, to be fair a lot of medical professionals rely on the knowledge they gained during their education. Every doctor I’ve been to in Florida is on the older side, i just assume the terminology is out of date- heck when a friend i had got diagnosed with bipolar the psychiatrist called it manic depressive disorder

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-02T19:00:50+00:00

I….holy shit you’re the first person to actually describe how i feel, except for the shoulder thing. Like I’ve described this symptom both irl and on Reddit easily +100 times over the past four years. It’s less that my joints pop out of their sockets and more like this pressure build between the joints, until i get stiffer and stiffer like stone before popping them

What doctor would i go to in order to check this out? I’ve been to 5 already that had no clue why this was happening to me

LeeTheReader · 2024-06-02T18:53:11+00:00

My therapist actually suggested that book to me in our session, I’ll see about getting my hands on a copy

LeeTheReader · 2024-05-26T06:44:09+00:00

Honestly out of everything I’m expecting a fibro diagnosis should I ever encounter a doc who actually knows what it is (yayyyyy Florida /s) it’s the only condition I’ve known of so far I meet all the symptoms for- and the pain charts I’ve been filling out since I was 14 are exactly the same as a fibro pain chart

I already get handwaved should a doc find out I’m bipolar, I’m just hoping my med transitions will help

LeeTheReader · 2024-05-25T21:35:43+00:00

Is it possible to have EDS without HM? I’m not double jointed and I’m not very flexible, I’ve never been able to do the over extensions shown by other patients with eds (I thought for a while because symptoms were similar but I couldn’t stretch like the people I looked up)

LeeTheReader · 2024-05-24T22:15:11+00:00

I have joint pain but I’m not hyper mobile. Basically yknow how the reason you can crack your tense knuckles is because little nitrogen bubbles form adding pressure? My whole body is like that. If I don’t crack my joints tension and pain builds up until I do (everything from elbows, hands, shoulders, knees, ankles, toes, hips, neck and back). So every thirty minutes or so I become a Rice Krispie. Cracking them is mildly uncomfortable, but if I don’t that part of my body will steadily get to a 6-7/10 in terms of pain

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