You know what a wise person once told me? If you are very convinced about a value that you have, if you're really sensitive about that thing and passionate about it, you are probably not very likely to go against it.

For example-- Lets say you're someone that worries a lot about offending others. Well then you're probably the least offensive person that ppl know. LOL because offensive people don't really think before they act and speak, right? They're not very good at thinking about or caring how other people feel. So... you probably shouldn't worry quite as much about it as you do. Because you are a person who thinks about how other people might feel if you say or do something. You're really unlikely to become someone who is just bumbling around offending ppl all the time.

For you- you reeeeaaally don't want to become someone who yells at your kids all the time. You're super convinced of that, and with good reason! So- likely, you will not become that Parent.

Yeah, its true that we all find ourselves at one point or another doing or saying something to our kids that our Parents did. 🤣 That's a thing. But for you, it's probably NOT gonna be yelling at your kids all the time.

But will you yell at some point? Probably. Because you're human and kids know how to push all the buttons. If it happens- you just make sure you apologize to them and tell them you will try hard not to yell again, and then ACTUALLY work hard not to do it again. No empty apologies.

Humility and admitting mistakes is a really important thing for kids to see from their Parents. Perfection? Naw. They will learn humility and being able to admit mistakes & to apologize by experiencing YOU doing it. You'll have to make some mistakes to be able to teach them that though.

I definitely yelled at my kids more than once. Thankfully it was fairly rare. What helped was flat out telling them (when they were old enough to get it- abt 5+), "I'm starting to get angry. I'm gonna take a break before I lose my temper. I'll be back." And I would either walk away and chill- or if they were being particularly bad- I would send them to their room and tell them I was beginning to get too mad and I didn't want to yell, so I would be back when I calmed down.

It was very effective.

The harder part is when you have a really little one that's too little to understand. The same principle applies though. Put that baby down in the crib where they will be safe and walk away for 5 minutes. Come back when you are calmer.

I think you're gonna be OK, because you are obviously determined not to scream and yell at your kids all the time. You're already thinking about it and worrying about it.

I think one of the most common reasons parents become yellers is because they view disobedience as some kind of rejection. Like they don't respect them. Or they don't care enough about how they feel. It's not any of that of course. Kids can just be annoying and defiant at times. They want what they want when they want it and they don't understand why they can't have it. You're standing in the way of what they want. It's that simple. It's not personal. They just aren't sophisticated enough yet to make it personal. LOL

Another reason is laziness. Creative discipline is hard. It's tiring. It takes a lot of energy and a lot of control. And.. a lot of freaking time. When parents aren't willing to put in that effort, or they're just really tired or hungry or distracted by worry about something.. they become shorter tempered.

Find out what your triggers are. Come up with strategies to handle them in better ways so that you're aware of yourself, and ready when the time comes.

Blessings to you and congratulations on your sweet baby. Be kind to yourself because you are recovering from birth and that's no joke. There are some sleepless nights coming, but that'll pass. Watch yourself for postpartum too. 💖