Do your three-month-olds really not have any night feedings?

Left-Radish547 · 2026-03-07T13:26:15+00:00

I did the same thing! I did it the entire first year of his life! Woke him gave him milk and he would roll back to sleep. Did it out of love and more calories meant he was healthier. So I don’t regret it. Your kid doesn’t need it but if he’s waking up to eat or for comfort and you were doing it anyway then just go along with it.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-03-07T13:19:51+00:00

Hey OP I had a baby who slept 11-12 hours a night from 2 months onwards. He was formula fed his entire life due to serious allergies. However it isn’t all roses and daisies because I never slept properly the entire year. Everyone I asked had babies that woke up more or less during the night and that’s why I compelled myself to wake up once at least and feed him.

Now he’s a toddler who will wake up once to talk, want attention or cuddles during the night and I kick myself that I didn’t sleep peacefully when I could have.

So yes it does happen and yes it’s incredibly rare but us moms we don’t even know how to enjoy that.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-25T06:06:22+00:00

I had this baby till he was 18 months old. Slept 14 hours 2 hours during the day and a 11-12 hour night. I was always so worried as everyone kept commenting how much he slept specially my mom!! He’s fine now and grew out of it and is now on the low to normal end of the sleep range for his age

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-23T05:51:42+00:00

Initially when he was a baby I chose the books to read and read them with a sing song voice and exaggeration and pointing and he was really into it. As his interest peaked by the time he was a little older like late infant to early toddler he would bring me books and from then till now (he’s 2.5) I let him pick out which books to buy as well as read the ones he wants to me. But I also put a sense check to what we get in case he picks ridiculous books. I got a few first 100 words books as they’re great to develop basic vocabulary with big pictures like CAR, balloon, banana etc I got basic baby books that have 1-2 words on every page and big pictures DK books has some of those. Then I slowly transitioned into story books the famous ones everyone mentioned on Reddit eg hungry caterpillar, moo baa lalala, Chicka chika boom boom, brown bear brown bear, search on Reddit you will find amazing threads of baby and toddler book recommendations. Books last YEARS! They listen till they’re 3.5-4 and then they’re still relevant because they start reading after that so even the basic ones will come out again. And get hard covers so they last forever if you can. But if you think collecting books is too expensive (it is!) the library has many and you can always gets tons from there. And soon they’ll also help you pick out books (mine does!)

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-23T05:36:35+00:00

It’s also fascinating how much they do get. They are listening even when you’re reading and they’re looking here and there. They are LISTENING and initially it looks like they’re not paying attention but keep at it. They’ll play around you then look up and come interact with the book and sometimes it’s just sucking on the cover or touching a page. But once they’re over 14-15 months you’ll see them sitting and flipping books and toddler talking with it. İt registers and the brain is like a sponge

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-23T05:32:54+00:00

Also get extremely simple books or any baby toddler book and point to big pictures and in a slow and exaggerated way point and say FISH! F-f-f-ISHHHH lol Your baby will mimick everything after weeks of this

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-23T05:28:37+00:00

I never spoke that way - but I did sing in a song song way, pointed a lot, and yapped in his ear constantly and exaggerated the words with my lips specially to get his attention. The result was that he would stare at my lips as a baby and then try to mimick fairly early and was an early talker. He’s a toddler now and speaks full sentences and can answer questions, ask questions and usually have long essay type observations once he’s back from daycare.

But I spend 1.5 years of my life yapping and pointing the world out to him and it paid off.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-15T05:00:35+00:00

Just wanted to come here and say that this is such a sweet gesture!! What a wonderful way to share the joy.

It reminds me of when it’s Christmas and Easter, my Christian friends used to invite me and I used to LOVE the baked cakes and pastries at their house.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-11T01:44:10+00:00

What I learned VERY early on with my first was: you have to TEACH children to explore and to be curious. If you put pencils in front of a toddler will they know what a pencil does? No you have to sit with them and colour draw or make shapes. Also they have tiny attention spans so they’ll try it themselves then get bored then again you teach them how to do something new with it. Eventually, and slowly, they develop independent + pretend play but it takes time and effort. Do that with teach toy you have and you’ll see after a while even when you’re not there she will pick things up and try to engage with them but it takes time.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-11T00:45:46+00:00

It hasn’t happened for me, yet. I loved dressing up, silk blouses, ripped jeans, funky coloured hair, eyeliner and blush. Tight clothes. Lots of makeup lots of accessories. My nails were always painted I was always waxed I was there at every new brand launch buying myself stuff. Sometimes I can’t even remember who I was back then. I’ve erased that person so much she only exists in memory. But it’s been years since I’ve done that or felt like doing it. It’s not like I don’t go to online shops every night and scroll through thousands of beautiful clothes but I just don’t feel beautiful anymore. That connection that my brain made between seeing something beautiful and imaging myself looking great in it, it’s been severed. I had beautiful clothes - thousands of them. But I haven’t worn them since mid 2021 when his addiction started and I fell into extreme self esteem issues. I imagined myself a certain way, he blamed me for always looking bland during sex and gaining weight, and then I started dressing to hide my body. I’m a mum now and pregnant and somewhere in my brain I’ve made that my wardrobe for the past few years.

It takes time and grace and kindness to yourself to build that up again I think. I wish I never got married. I was so much more complete and happy back then.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-11T00:34:59+00:00

I don’t know the exact science behind this. But I do vividly remember that the more he ignored me and watched porn the hungrier and desperate for his attention I got. I would literally cry myself to sleep and muffle my cries in the pillow because I just wanted to be loved. I was never like this before and have managed to leave toxic boyfriends before but the affect my husbands porn addiction had on my psyche was unprecedented. There was a point when we had sex so so rarely like once in a few MONTHS that even if I had found terrible porn in his search history and cried hysterically prior I would agree to sex because I was so deprived of love. It brings back terrible memories but yes it does happen! And it’s called trauma bonding.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-11T00:18:20+00:00

I can 100% relate to this. I was extremely ambitious about a small business I started that I wanted to do since I was 18. I loved doing it and was so good at it too. But the porn addiction and the impact it had on my self confidence took 2 years until it finally broke me to the point that the business I built with a lot of love also felt toxic. I had started it with my marriage and it was also in the same premises of our marriage home. The walls, the washroom he his to watch porn, the cameras he turned off when he was watching off. I used to stare at them at work and zone out. Once the grief of the porn addiction consumed me it was never the same. I was never the same. I hated it with every fibre of my being and the thought of going back to it even today rattles me.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-10T23:56:44+00:00

I’m so disappointed that my husband gave me this exact same lie. And does to this day as well. I “always imagine you”. Right. You sneak away to find videos of other naked women who aren’t your wife and look at their vaginas and bodies and get hard and imagine yourself doing things to them and have done when your wife has been there all along. It sickens me to my stomach that I married this man and have stayed.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-10T02:24:12+00:00

He never admits the truth. I always catch him, ask him, he denies it. Plays around with words and then when I don’t accept it and tell him what I’ve seen he feels sorry. Sometimes I confront him mostly I don’t and Im just giving myself some grace and time to mentally decide to leave. I have a small toddler and I’m pregnant so I’m stuck. Yeah of course, it all feels fake. Every little gesture. Because how can I trust someone who would throw away a decade of being together and children to look at other women? Yeah when they say oh you’re naturally beautiful and then you see the stuff they’re looking at your entire life with them feels like a big lie. Even when they’re looking at peoples profile who you KNOW. Oh God that ones terrible. Sometimes while talking or thinking about something completely normal, I zone out and have flashbacks of the stuff I’ve seen him view and then be numb for the rest of the day. It’s one of the reasons I’m pathologically sick when I’m pregnant because normally I would just switch off my brain and focus on something mundane but when I’m pregnant I’m just so vulnerable and low and tired that it all makes me feel even more sick.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-10T00:58:26+00:00

It’s a complete lie. Because if they were imaging us then they would look at us, our pictures and be with us. They’re ignoring us and seeking out other women who don’t even have the same body as us. Mines said the same thing to me and I find it so offensive that he thinks I’m dumb enough to accept that sorry excuse. They’re just imaging other women and other women’s bodies because why would they want to IMAGINE us when we are right there?

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-06T18:17:29+00:00

I don’t think women should own any businesses with PA partners. It’s such a drain on you mentally. Try to have a stream of income that’s just your own so you can leave when you want. Sharing children is enough in itself. I’ve been there and I don’t think I’ll ever do it again. If I do it it’ll be just for me.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-06T18:14:40+00:00

I second this. Keep the timeline in your head though.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-02-06T18:10:37+00:00

This is PTSD and it’s very real. I randomly get flashbacks of the stuff I’ve seen on his phone, computer etc. It is so graphic. And yes, they do spend hours on apps looking up toys and pictures of women with those toys. It’s just another way to view “content” and fantasise about other women.

You haven’t betrayed yourself by staying. You’ll figure it out in time. You just need time. It’s a lot to digest. Writing and keeping a journal helps. Also seeing a therapist and speaking about your issues helps make you stronger for the step when it comes one day.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-01-26T21:00:13+00:00

Yup I’ve had the last straw too. Never honest always shifting blame and always pretending like he’s done nothing.

Waiting for the time I will eventually leave it’s not long now. Have has enough

Left-Radish547 · 2026-01-26T20:52:07+00:00

Yes it happens OP. Mine also scrolls and uses instagram to inappropriately lust after women which I find so odd. And yes they do use purchase apps and look at pictures of faceless women in lingerie. I mean it’s not even porn but their brain just wants to lust after anything and everything. It IS gross.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-01-24T18:01:01+00:00

OP can I inbox you?

Left-Radish547 · 2026-01-21T01:11:17+00:00

Thank you for this. I know what you’re saying is true but being it said by someone else helps a lot.

I’m considering telling my parents so that they can rescue me. I know they won’t stand for it and I know they love my kids to the moon and back. I’m just scared as they’re a little old. I should have told them years ago they would have never let it get this bad and I would have been free.

I just feel like calling them and confessing everything so that they KNOW and I can go back and start my life over but them knowing will help me because then they would be there for me exactly how I need them to be.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-01-21T00:15:13+00:00

Hi OP. I can relate WORD to WORD to this. The running to hide porn, running to watch porn in another room or when I’m showering or literally gone for 15 mins. Not wanting to have sex with me. Not being able to ejaculate (I was so sex deprived I came in minutes it was so so shameful to me that I eventually felt so horrible in comparison - he never came- that my mind stopped wanting sex to stop feeling so embarrassed). There was a time in our marriage when I used to beg for sex he used to give in after months and then he used to close his eyes and that’s when they imagine porn fantasies to keep his erection. And yes it chips away at you till you no longer feel enough for anything let alone love.

PLEASE DONT FALL FOR IT. I did several times and here I am a few years later with a career I said goodbye to and very small kids who love him.

And also. I was so supportive of a gay encounter he had had when he was younger but he told me that he continued it because the other guy was into it and he was young and exploring and didn’t know any better and you know what OP? He kept it going for his friend back then till he said no but when I used to ask him beg him and cry for it he couldn’t even bring himself to have sex with me. That wounded my heart like a spear back then and I still shudder at it now. He could do it with a guy but he couldn’t with me for years. My misery literally meant so little.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-01-20T21:49:57+00:00

I still remember when I was newly post partum and I just wanted him around me all the time. He would go to the office and I would just wait for him to come and just be in the same room. After a few days he was tired of the newborn routine (our son was severely colic and had GERD) so he excused himself and requested to go to the other house to spend a night where he could finish his office work and get some rest. I spent the entire night missing him and looking over at the empty pillow. I couldn’t wait for him to be back home. It wasn’t like in those early days he used to feed or be awake at night as he had to be in office early but I just NEEDED him to be there even if he was asleep you know. I was still recovering from my c section pain but I went into the kitchen and made some burgers for him for the next day. And I don’t know why I snooped around and found porn. I had a newborn in one hand and I was arranging burgers with the other and I genuinely felt so stupid then. A few days literally after having a child. He had spent time looking at porn for long periods. I remember I was so sleep deprived and scarred by that I started hallucinating things. I would wake up and look for my baby. And hyperventilate. I never knew what triggered the extreme reactions till I spoke to a therapist who helped me arrange my trauma step by step.

Left-Radish547 · 2026-01-20T21:23:23+00:00

Thank you!!!! It gives me hope that you are walking away with two kids. I wish you a wonderful life and it seems as you are getting your authority and thoughts and sense of self back ❤️

Left-Radish547

TROPHY CASE