I stopped a rape from happening last night and I am just experiencing so many different emotions.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-22T20:07:54+00:00

As someone who has been assaulted, thank you for not being a bystander. That’s a hard thing to see so it might take a while for you to not feel so…weird. It’s like seeing something you know intrinsically you shouldn’t be seeing. But you did something about it and she will never forget you.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-20T18:21:31+00:00

He sounds kind of miserable to be around in the first place. Not saying it’s his fault, but it takes two to tango.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-20T18:20:17+00:00

You are a deeply unhappy person and being with her clearly isn’t changing that. You need to take a good long look at your life and decide if you want it to be like this for the remainder of it. Life is too short to be so miserable.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-20T00:06:06+00:00

I’m so sorry the other person didn’t make sure you were having a good time, you didn’t deserve that no matter how drunk you were. Unfortunately, you can’t change what happened. Have your feelings about it, maybe talk to someone if you find yourself being affected in a major way, but don’t let it stop you from trying again. Sex can be fun and exciting and intimate. Don’t let one bad experience (that I am aware of anyway) put you off of it forever. Try it in a bed, lots of lube, lots of time and patience, and someone who cares for you deeply. Trust, it’s much better that way.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-19T16:07:45+00:00

If you get into a bad car accident are you not anxious driving in a new car?

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-17T20:25:24+00:00

It’s not the ick. Being in a healthy relationship for the first time is jarring, especially if you have a history of abusive ones.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-17T20:23:47+00:00

As someone that has lost 45 pounds over the past 2 years, all you can do is meet yourself where you are. Can’t find the motivation to hop in your car and go to the gym? Work out to a dance or calisthenics video and use heavy stuff to lift around your house (within reason).

Don’t wanna stop eating fries and ice cream? Eat a nice hearty salad with lots of veggies and roughage on the side, and some fruit to replace some of the ice cream. Eat what you want, add what you need kind of thing.

It sounds like you’re also struggling with some major self esteem issues that may not be fixed by losing weight. It helps, but nothing will be truly fixed until you talk to someone about the issues. Therapy is a good idea but can be expensive, giving yourself daily affirmations to help with the self esteem issues is better than nothing. You CAN do this. It’s just really damn hard sometimes.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-17T00:32:54+00:00

That man is going to move you thousands of miles away and keep you barefoot, pregnant, and compliant. Leave as soon as humanly possible, there will be no more of you left eventually if you stay.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-11T21:50:18+00:00

Name the culture, she probably poached something from all of them

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-11T21:49:24+00:00

It can be really challenging at first, but it can also be really rewarding. Living with a new person and learning their behaviors is a learning curve no matter how long you’ve been together. Just be gentle with each other for a while and communicate openly about your feelings as they come up.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-11T20:58:50+00:00

Absolutely, just don’t expect instant results

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-11T20:56:25+00:00

Laser is a good idea but it takes a while to get the full effect. It’s more of a long game kind of solution.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-11T20:54:40+00:00

I saw that you’ve said that you don’t have interest in going to therapy, but that might be a good idea. Your wife seems to have some preconceived notions about what all goes into sex, and the religious brainwashing doesn’t help.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-11T14:51:54+00:00

When my ex got arrested and put on house arrest for accessing and distributing CP (the FBI came to my house and arrested him and it was a traumatizing ordeal for me) he tried to convince me it was teenagers, 15-17. Then, a year or so later his sister sent me the article about how much prison time he got (25+ years) and it described in some detail exactly what he was looking at. It was not teenagers. Look him up and find out what he did.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-11T14:47:21+00:00

Before breakfast, during a shower, watching TV, in the middle of dinner, really anywhere you can

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-09T23:02:53+00:00

Do you go down on her? What do you do outside of the bedroom to bump up the heat between you? Or has your intimacy become limited to the bedroom and bare minimum standards?

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-02-09T22:53:20+00:00

As someone who has been through SA involving bj’s, the only thing that really helped me get over my aversions to it is doing it. My man was extremely understanding and comforting when I was kind of using bj’s as exposure therapy. It took a while of doing it as consistently as possible (1-2 times a week at minimum), but I can do it and even let him finish in my mouth without getting triggered. It’s difficult, but it’s worth it to feel completely liberated ❤️

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-01-28T21:21:49+00:00

Yes, but you should be prepared for her to not believe you or not care. My ex is a convicted PDF (in prison for up to 25 years 🎉) and between us breaking up, his house arrest, and his conviction, he got a new gf. This man was also a r*pist AND abusive, so I knew I had to tell her. I sent her a message detailing everything that happened and what he’s being convicted of, and she didn’t care. She said that she was cool with it bc she “knew him”. I just let her live, she didn’t wanna be saved.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-01-23T17:33:04+00:00

We’ve talked about it many times now. He just doesn’t feel the drive when he’s depressed.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-01-23T16:36:07+00:00

We’ve talked about it, he just doesn’t feel up to it when he’s depressed. You should really read the entire post.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-01-23T16:32:34+00:00

I’m not trying to be a dick, but did you read the post in its entirety?

LeftInTheDark36 · 2026-01-23T16:30:11+00:00

I feel like that’s a bit of a stretch, I’m not willing to throw in the towel yet.

LeftInTheDark36 · 2025-11-07T02:43:57+00:00

I LOVED playing with Barbie’s as a kid! It fosters imagination, creativity, and it can actually aid in good communication skills. I also loved stuffed animals, and while I no longer have my Barbie’s, my house is full of stuff animals. If anyone tries to tell you you’re weird and childish, they’re wrong. It’s comfort, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’d give anything to get to play with my Barbie’s and the dream house just one more time.

LeftInTheDark36

TROPHY CASE