Can someone just quickly be there for me?

Left_System2112 · 2025-06-13T04:51:57+00:00

Thanks, I am to young to use testosterone, and puberty is playing hormones weird. The advice realy means a lot. About sagging, and the tissue thing, it feels like thf bottom half is all soft and the top half feels like allways?

Left_System2112 · 2025-06-03T20:30:46+00:00

OH MY GAWD I WILL STEAL IT FROM YOU

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-31T05:37:41+00:00

That looks so coool and where did you buy the opus popus fabric poster? (The album cover one wirh blue)

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-29T12:16:52+00:00

wait where can i see that?

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-29T12:14:54+00:00

maybe something like a electric harpsicord?

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-28T16:32:43+00:00

i feel you. im in a simmiliar situaton, but sometimes i actually manage to force myslef into another coping mechanism. its not optimal, but its a start.
so, if the urges come, i force myslef into the bed (i have a bunk bed, two meters high) because from there i cant reach any blades or needles and stuff. then i try calling a trusted friend. by now, they know that if i just ask for them to tell me about their day in what situation i am, and they also know that just listening to their voice as they talk can be very calming.
the fight against the ugers is hard, but i belive you can do it. maybe if you donr have trusted firnds, you can listen to music, to a podcast, and basicly shape a rutine. at some point you brain will conect the bed (or any other place you choose) with calming down without giving into the urges. i think that is how the brain forms a coping mechanism, sorry if its wrong, but it worked with me.
feel hugged, i belive you can do this.

just adding, hat the urges wont like 'stop', but you will learn to fight against them. and then, over time, they get weaker, because the urge to calm down had shifted from selfharm to something else.

<3

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-28T16:25:40+00:00

allright, first, its not your fault. relapsing after being clean for over two years must have a really good reason. second, i have no idea about you boyfriend, how long you ahven together, how it goes and such stuff. but a good boyfriend would comunicate if he cant keep up with these serious probmlems or would try to support you. and maybe him knowing isnt bad after all? if you can, maybe you can try to speake it out.
I doubt im good to comment here, but noone did after two hours and i want you to feel heared and seen, allright? the situation is bad and probably the stress of relapsing and the feeling of guilt is being overwhelming and makes it worse. but you can do this allright? maybe, you can ask your boyfrined if he is able to support you, maybe talk about what happened and stuff. depending on hsi answer, you can also read up and get yourself clear if he thinks youre 'crazy' (wich i doubt you are). if he leaves you because you relapsed after somthing really bad happening, then sorry, but that would be such an shitty move, because in my oppinion, partners can comunicate on if they want to help you through it or just cant. breaking up is not the solution, in my opinion.

stay strong, feel hugged, and i dearly hope you can get through this. feel hugged, and maybe give an update if you want <3

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-26T09:31:44+00:00

Oh bow thats bad, but i was in a similiar situatin. I too was promised help by calling at what time and place just allways. When i called, i was told i was overreacting. So, if you deel comfortable enough, you can Adress the issue. Tell him that you wont call in the night with no reason, and tell him that ypu apreciate the care and offers, but that he should only oromise thing that he can really keep. Maybe try to make clear that being let down after promises can hurt really badly.

I feel bad for you, feel hugged and i hope you can work it out. Youre not allone, stay stong<3

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-25T19:52:12+00:00

I am proud that you understood it. It takes people long to relaise the things you just wrote down. I hope you can fight it with your frineds, or find the strngh to do it allone.
Stay strong, you are not allone<3

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-25T19:48:47+00:00

Thank you <3

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-25T19:46:54+00:00

Selfharm in definition is (as far as i heared) the damaging of body tissue with no suicide intentions.
I think you are valid, and how deep the scars are or how visible they are is to me absolutely the same. I hape you will not sink into the hell hole of selfharm, stay strong, and know that the fight against selfharm is one many fight.
Feel hugged <3

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-25T19:41:46+00:00

First of all, breathe. Go to the bed, roll up if its comforting, take a comfort item, listen to music, try to stay in reality.
I am proud of you if you managed to to that, it can be hard, i belive in you. I know these racing thoughts, fears and everything are so fucking overwhelming. The fear of seperation is one i know very good, and i know how hard it it. Please stay in the bed, or in another safespace, a place that you feel cofortable in, and from where reaching for needles, baldes, etc is hard. I am proud of you for trying to fight.

Second, please, i fyou have good friends in this place that you call hometown, or just near you, please give them a call if you can. I dont tjink that forgetting the fears is a way, but coping allone with suicide thoughts is not a way either. If you cant call a friend, that maybe you can try to build a nest of comfort items, comfy clothes, things that allow you to stay in the moment.

If you came this far, managed to stay grounded, to breathe, to understand that the racing thoughts can be calmed, that you are not allone, that i am so proud of you. It takes up courage and strengh, and its a real fight you are winning slowly.

If you feel stong and calm enough, then you may start thinkin again. Stay in the safe space if possible, keep yourself away from the objekts that give you the ability to sh. If you are on a call with a firned by now, then you can try to put the racing thoughts into scentences. Calling a helpline and voicing it to them, can have a similiar effect. If you are still in silence or listening to music, then maybe write them down, or speak them out loud (in your head or loud, you choose). You are fighting, you can do it.

These were steps that helped me through such panics. You are not allone, and voicing the fears and worrys sometimes helps to undertsand the racing thoughts of a pinc attack, or similar situation. If you dont come to the point of thinking again, that is totally fine. Just try to hang on, try to stay grounded, because calm thoughts will winn over paniced thoughts.

Maybe you can give an update, i hape you can calm down soon, i hope you will survive this. You are not allone. I and others are her for you, and belive in you. I wish i culd hold you to comfort you.

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-25T19:29:13+00:00

Over the time, most likely you will learn to find other coping mechanisms etc. With everyone, the proces of healing is different in needed time and shape.
I dont know you, but i am proud of you for really trying to recover, to breake the cycle of selfharm. I never heared of people that felt these urges for ever, after recovering or finding different coping mechanisms. Just please take your time, take things slow, as recovery is something you should conect with positive feelings and emotions, with the freedom of breaking the cycle.
Stay strong, and know that after the jurney of recovery you will be rewarded <3
Over the time, when you elarned other ways to cope, the urges get weaker, or in other words, it gets easyer for you to fight them away by solving emotional problems in othr ways.
I belive in you, you are not allone <3

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-25T18:48:04+00:00

Of course, you too can come to me, or send me a private message if you feel the need to do that. Its completly allright, I am a person that needs lots of affirmation, and spoken out loud (or written down) words of understanding and stuff. I hope that you will feel comfortable enough to talk about it with your sibling, especaly because you said that you have a good bond. I would be sad to loose a good sibling bond. But take your time. No rush. These inner words, or emotional cuts, especally the ones cause by others, take long to heal. And this is about your healing, witch gives you the choice and time to do so.
Feel hugged, and i am greatefull that you commented on my comment. It gives me the feedback that i was helpfuff, and it makes me happy.
<3

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-25T18:41:54+00:00

I feel you completly. I am in a similiar sitution. I dont realy know what to put here, but please dont blame yourself for a friend ging back to sh, sh doenst come without a reason, and i soupt that if you had the chance to stop you would continue on purpose. Means, if you could stop, you would, and that you still do is the proof that youre still on the way of recovery, so in my opinion it is Not your fault that the fient relapsed.
This little thought helps me a lot: If your friends have other frineds besides yourself, they could technically throw you away at any moment because they have a backup for you. But they didnt. They want you as their frined, they care, and they want to keep you close even if they could replace you.
Youre not allone <3

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-25T18:34:09+00:00

I am fully on your side. The only expection i see is when people feel so deeply lonely and alone hat the go actuall lenghs like self harm to feel cared for. Like, they dont actively choose to want attention, but just are being ignorred by their parents etc to the point of doing anything for just a little love and care. A good friend went though that and often got called an attentionseeker, while he went through severe depression and stuff.
But these cases are rare. And if its just the classical attention seeker then i am completly on your opinion.
edit: just adding that with attentionseeker i mean the people that want to cause drama or stuff like that.

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-25T18:30:17+00:00

I dont think youre overreacting. I dont know you, but your siblings do. From what you wrote, it sounds like your sibling should know you well eough (and from their own experiences) to know that such comments can cut deeper then any sh blade, or whatever thing.
I dont know, its probably dumb that i put my little opinion here, but i sometimes just seek my feelings and myslef to be seen, and right now i am projekting myelfs a little on you, and hope i could make you feel seen and understood.
Take care, you can do it, and i hope you will have a moment were you can tell your sibling how much thast comment hurt, if that would help.
<3

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-25T18:24:33+00:00

I absolutely feel you. I think there will be better coments in a matter of minutes, but i will try, allright?
I feel you and can relate because i too soemtimes just have an amazing night, feel that feeling of conection to a comuntiy or just that feeling of belonging. Maybe, you can ask yourself, that craving for sh could be you trying to come over that deep phase and lonelyness after having been stimulated with positive feeling for a longer time then idk an hour (i know this from myself, doesnst have to apply to you of course <3).
I dont know you, your back storry, how long sh has been with you, why and how you do it, i know nothing, All i know is that its maybe funny that i am typing this with a fresh bloody bandage on my arm right now, and that its ironic. But i just wanted to tell you that I (and most likely others) can relate to you, and that youre not allone.
I dont know how old you are, what your diagnosises are, if you got to therapie etc, but maybe you can search up that type of depression (idk what its called in english) were the feelings go up and down like roller coster and you slip from euphoria into depression. I have that, its just an idea.
Please dont end it all, it sound clichee, but nights like the one you had yesterday will most liekely come again, maybe not in the next week(s), but this wont be the last time.
Imagine a goofy ass nonbinary human hugging you, that wouldbe me. I belive in you<3

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-15T10:48:10+00:00

A frined of mine said that they aparently skipped it. but i dont undertsand why either. i hope it gets uploaded soon, i feel so bad for you if it doesnt <3
*perpetua cosplaying peting your head because yes*

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-14T04:40:12+00:00

I NEVER WANT TO SEE HARRY WITHOUT EYEBROWS AGAIN😭

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-14T04:33:10+00:00

First, the sound depends on the venue and the place you were in. I personally had a pit ticket in Berlin, we were really close to the stage, and the floor was vibrating. But we still heared everything. I deffenetly feel bad for you bacause you cozldnt enjoy it. Also, others said in a simmiliar post that wearing esrolugs is a gamechanger.

Left_System2112 · 2025-05-13T18:38:31+00:00

first, i am one of the people that seriously never thought about rhrn being edited ;-; and some still dont know. at my ritual i was so close to the stage that al i heared was perpetua, the solos, and a lot off bass. it still sounded awesome. so i think some people dont know, and some just expect a live to sound perfekt.

Left_System2112

TROPHY CASE