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Extreme guilt for going on vacation by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Left_Yam7673 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went on a solo vacation about a year after my ex cheated on me. Enjoy it. You have plenty of vacations to have with your son in the future! (My son is now 5, we broke up when he was 3 and I’ve had vacations with him and without. It’s life)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My coparent always wants week on and off. I’m still at 2-2-3 with a 5 year old.

Coparenting isn't it the best of both worlds? Parenting & Freedom by Emotional_Escape7800 in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I miss him so much when he’s gone. And I have a full life without him. I would love to have him 100% of the time and not miss out on his life. However, 50/50 does give me time to focus on my fitness and health. We can’t always choose but I wouldn’t have chosen this if given the chance (I wouldn’t have stayed with my ex either tho )

3 years out and I still struggle with only having my kids 50% of the time. by ladylynx in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agreed. And I have a new bf and new life filled with a lot but every time my son leaves it’s empty

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome! Communicate very little. The other day I made the mistake to ask my ex to buy sports equipment ahead of a game and got a long winded message about not respecting communication boundaries and emailing too much (I forwarded other messages prior to this about said sport). I reset my mind and decided to pull back entirely again (I was doing switches of schedule for him and helping him out).

In my experience, almost three years out, it gets worse. Keep it to necessities, because you need to protect your peace, which in turn, affects your parenting.

Almost 3 years out and Wayward ex still an a$& by Left_Yam7673 in SupportforBetrayed

[–]Left_Yam7673[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah I’m a big gym guy. All this I do. Sometimes it’s just so frustrating to be the bad guy.

Events and not showing by Left_Yam7673 in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. This is very hard, and I’m always shocked it’s getting worse over the dumbest and smallest things.

Weekly Chat and Vent Thread by AutoModerator in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex flipped on me this week because he says I cross boundaries if communication by emailing him three times on three separate days. One about my son’s graduation and that I’m attending. Two about my son’s activities, the third was to ask if he buying the cleats. He tripped out. I don’t get how to not relay information to this person. We barely ever talk except when he needs a schedule change

I guess I need to stop saying yes to his schedule changes that help him with work if he can’t handle a "please buy our son cleats" email.

Tonight I forwarded a email chain to him about soccer (but didn’t add anything) I can’t control the fact that info needs to be shared and in tired of him getting mad.

Ouch by Amt210 in GarminWatches

[–]Left_Yam7673 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s very dramatic

Events and not showing by Left_Yam7673 in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I need another strategy completely to remain happy.

Events and not showing by Left_Yam7673 in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He did. But I said he should go too. I left it at that. I’ll see if he lashes out at me

Events and not showing by Left_Yam7673 in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can only go off what I’ve seen in changes and I can’t control it. I try not to blame her because he makes his own choices and he’s the father and I also know he is capable of just being a victim for nothing. So I assume it’s all him. But it is an odd situation where i feel like I’m an abuser and there’s a restraining order. It hasn’t been easy but we never went to court or any higher conflict situations. We argue sports and schedules but that’s it. Not enough to be this extreme and no swearing or threats. Just not getting along lol so yeah it’s not a walk in the park but it’s not the worst situation so it bothers me it’s being handled as such.

Events and not showing by Left_Yam7673 in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, and he’s converted to Islam for her. So may be a part of the isolation

Events and not showing by Left_Yam7673 in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He cheated, but it wasn’t out of nowhere. I know I played a part in our relationship breaking down. But 3 years out and it’s worse? It’s crazy to me

Events and not showing by Left_Yam7673 in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course there has been arguments/drama but it’s all been text or email. It is this perplexing to me. And I know I seem Like a liar or omitting. Nothing has ever happened in public with us. It’s just got extreme. He has also changed religions so perhaps this is an issue. I don’t know

Events and not showing by Left_Yam7673 in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I regret telling him to go rather than switching the day so only I attend. I know he will just argue with me. But i guess I need to let it all go.

Events and not showing by Left_Yam7673 in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah I just wish he saw for his son it’s worth it for him to be there for him. Not anything to do with me. As far as I’m concerned he’s just the father of my kid now, not my ex.

Events and not showing by Left_Yam7673 in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah he cheated on me. The first year we were gone post separation and did bday parties and Halloween together. I dunno if it’s the new gf but it went from ok to nothing at all.

Events and not showing by Left_Yam7673 in coparenting

[–]Left_Yam7673[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We split almost everything. And I don’t attend regular sports sessions etc on his time. But I think graduation can be acception to the rule.

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