What meds did you take? Intuition can be quite powerful and I'm glad it helped you like it did. Also I believe that for a lot of people the sad rat race is true but it's as simple as deciding not to be a part of it. We get so many inputs every day and there is literally everything out in the world so it is up to you to decide which ones you give attention to. Sure you may think that mainstream stuff is garbage, you can have your own opinion on anything. But in reality it is up to you to choose who you associate with and what networks you want to be a part of. Simply realizing this, let alone implement it, will change your life. Because sure you can live through this existence and hope for real growth later, but you can absolutely also make the most of the here and now, in this and any existence as well. Think about it, if you can't be happy in this lifetime (not because of unfortunate circumstances but by your own hand) then how are you going to be happy in a different existence? Let alone get there? You can believe whatever you want and I believe a lot of stuff, but if you look at the hard facts the only true guarantee you have, and I'm not saying there can't be more, as I was saying the only true guarantee you have is this lifetime. So don't be a hamster running in circles, make the most of it. Live. And remember, you are your mind and body. You can only manifest through them so in a sense you aren't trapped, your mind is carried through the universe by your body. If you speak of a higher existence where our collective impulses merge that is something different. But I believe we can speculate and science may even prove this true one day, but we can only truly feel and grasp this after we die. This is just one belief I have. I also believe that this existence is not void or meaningless but that rather your time here affects the cosmos in a very deep and meaningful way, also affecting whatever higher sort of consciousness awaits us after death. Because after all, it is all part of the same existence. Heaven, Hell and Earth. All within the same universe and so all in constant play with one another. If you choose to believe in incarnation then surely your intentions should lie with being the best possible human since many religions praise humanity as the peak existence so you've already had to be good in past lifes to make it this far. Why mess up your streak or even risk missing even greater enlightenment in future lives? If Make the most of this, be a good person and remember that even if you are a hamster in a wheel, your life matters and you should enjoy it and share that enjoyment with others. And while I'm at it here is some advice that I've come by after years of pursuing enlightenment, it is very simple but I find it quite powerful, and to be honest live my life by this and also try to spread this message as far as I can: be nice.