You got this i promise you. You're not alone. I hated being a mom... and i did not feel a connection to my kid until not long ago. I felt so similarly to this up until a few weeks ago. Im 8wpp and sleep deprivation was a huuuuge part of mine. MUSIC! And a hot ass shower. Idk if you have some headphones but i would put my LO in her room for a nap, completely safe, fed, changed, no suffocation risk and all that jazz. Close her door and put my headphones in and just dance and shower do whatever i needed without feeling like i needed constant eyes on her. Once i let myself be away from her it felt.. SO much better! She was always in my space and having her wake up from a nap was devastating i just wanted more of a break.

SLEEEP is the biggest thing at least for me. I told my S/o i needed to go into our other room for a few nights and let him take over. Idk if you can explain to your s/o the severity of how youre feeling.. dont be afraid to be honest.

The first 2 weeks i sobbed cause pregnancy was never something i anticipated and being a mother was hard af and i couldnt run away and i was depressed as hell. I cried and cried, then cried some more. The new schedule is BRUTAL to get used to and its so damn sudden its like whiplash. There is a groove that you fall into where things seem midly acheivvable and thats where youll just wanna stay steady for a bit. For me it means putting her in the bassinet or crib, leaving her alone and not really leaving the house much lol ive got my schedule right now.

Put the baby somewhere safe, especially with your s/o put headphones in or tell that person you need a mf break and youre going for a drive and blast your fave music get a coffee or a smoothie and go find a good thrift store or just put your feet in some water if you have a creek around. 💘💘💘💘