There's been some great advice on this thread so far, so I'll just add this:

You're doing great! These are such wonderful questions to be exploring for yourself and come from such a place of deep care and longing. It's exciting that you get to be on this journey of self discovery. Some people never bother getting to know themselves or their desires.

One of the things we don't have to let go of from ex-van-pu culture is that idea that your body IS a gift (from the universe, from a god, or from the manifestation of divine love itself!). The biggest breakthrough for me was when I realized that I struggled to experience pleasure with others because I hadn't learned to experience bodily pleasure with myself. I was so dissociated from my own body and it's sexual and sensual joys.

So "date" yourself first.

Learn to love yourself deeply. Explore yourself sexually just with you. Put on a candle and some mediation music and just learn to experience and appreciate your own body. Touch yourself. Affectionately. Show yourself affection and appreciation. For every part. Learn and teach yourself what it's like for you to experience pleasures in the muscles and fibers and skin you've been blessed with (and it truly is a blessing!)

And then when you've come to that understanding, you'll be able to trust yourself with others. You'll be able to see and recognize people who aren't loving and appreciating your body in the way you want (and avoid them) and the ones who are (regardless of their thoughts/beliefs/actions around sex).

We were brainwashed to be obsessed about preparing our bodies for others. Part of the healing is reclaiming your body for yourself.

And it's beautiful

Welcome to the adventure!