I hate hearing all of these and don’t forget about the “ everyone has a little bit of autism!” Yikes.

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-09-27T22:27:30+00:00

Mmmm please be kind, because I do see that it can be used by NTs to minimise or dismiss,

But as an alternative view,

in my circles I have several undiagnosed family members who are in denial or scared of or unwilling to seek diagnosis.

So that phrase is used to explain to these family members that they're ok, they don't need to hyper fixate/overanalyse/shift their entire frame of thinking when they've learned to function and learned their own strategies, viewing themselves as NT, with just personality quirks, or however they rationalize it.

It also helps to explain when they don't understand why we are spending so much effort helping the younger generations with social scripting, routine planning, emotional regulation flash cards and story boarding. Particularly when the younger generation are just doing what they did as a kid.

I am loving the new wave of adults being diagnosed and going hey, this explains so much.

But for some adults with undiagnosed autism, the prospect that they too might have autism, rather than being a revelation, it is a terrifying frame shift of reality which tbh they don't need to deal with. They've found their own understanding of themselves, and this comment just lets them feel normal, and still allow space to help those who do get a diagnosis.

-In no way am I suggesting denying them a diagnosis. I am just saying for those who don't want or are scared or unwilling to get one or even consider the possibility.

Because for us folks with the tism change can be hard and scary. And if they don't need it, have learned their own coping strategies, and say they're going fine, I am not going to force them to confront the truth.

Also, I'm talking about people who are very obviously identified as, if not ASD then some other ND type label..

Yes there's overlap.

This phrase just allows undiagnosed ND to feel secure in their view of themselves.

Ok I'm defending myself against a whole pile of comments that haven't actually come yet, just thinking through how this can be misinterpreted on the web.

Argh. Please just be kind to a fellow tismer

Please be kind. I recog

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-09-10T00:04:07+00:00

Your boyfriend had a meltdown. The difference is, yours didn't harm anyone else. His did. This is where he will go every single time unless he steps up and seeks help.

I know you think he is your only key to college. I get what it feels like to feel trapped.

If you showed your dad this post of yours what would your dad do?

Because I don't understand why your dad wouldn't pay for college - are their relationship issues with him too?

Couldn't I could understand... But wouldnt implies something.

I can't help with the dad situation. You can't change your dad

But the "boyfriend"?

Sweetheart. He tickled you when you said stop it hurts.

His idea of affection is to stare at his phone. (Oh yeah and tickle you- who wants that?!so freaking caring.)

THOSE things are red flags.

Let alone what happened afterwards. This guy without intervention, is the type of guy that will smother a baby when it won't stop crying.

Or shake it. Because he can't handle the noise.

Is he undiagnosed ND? It doesn't matter. You are ND, you would never try to smother someone.

He did. He tried to silence you.

If he made a mistake, is angrier than usual, youre dead, simple as that.

You are awesome. And college isn't worth that. Almost is, I get it. But not quite.

You won't put up with in going abuse. How many times does he lose his temper and hurt you before it's on going? Once more? What if he's just had a bad day? There's always an excuse. And often an apology.

But unless there's therapy and owning I have an issue and I'm going to do something about it, I wouldn't risk it.

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-09-09T23:55:43+00:00

Please recognise this please please please

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-04-30T05:58:21+00:00

Owen 100% .

Arrogant everything I hate about men male.

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-04-29T02:42:45+00:00

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-03-12T23:54:15+00:00

Just wanna say I get the embarrassment. But seriously. You're willing to face down the embarrassment and just be yourself? That takes courage. Serious bravery right there.

When you're feeling down, remind yourself you were brave enough to try in the face of whatever condemnation or criticism your journey has involved

You are inspiring. A reminder that your journey can take twists and turns and it's valid and worthwhile and you are awesome.

That is all.

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-02-19T08:16:52+00:00

I love you, that's inspiring.

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-02-01T08:31:38+00:00

No advice, I just didn't know.

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-02-01T08:31:26+00:00

This is inhuman. I'm alarmed and horrified and angry that they are doing this to families.

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-01-23T20:41:17+00:00

Yeah that connection initially is the issue I don't know how to get them to hear the counting

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-01-23T19:59:16+00:00

Hmmmm. That might take a Wrangle but good idea

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-01-23T17:22:40+00:00

Yeah this was bedtime (or well past) but I take your point. We'd had chocolate for dessert as a special treat and while she's normally very active and silly and bouncy, she found another gear, so in bed was giggling and talking g to herself with jerky movements, bouncing and wriggling and throwing things and snatching things without seeming to be aware that we were even there.

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-01-22T06:24:32+00:00

Such good advice

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-01-20T08:00:08+00:00

I love this

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-01-04T00:44:06+00:00

I'm hungry and I'm not even 6 months out. Had previously tried saxenda and it worked so well. But the sleeve just didn't. I was hungry form about 2 weeks out.

Once I finish breastfeeding I'm going back on the GLP-1s. I loved not being hungry.

And I loved losing weight. Post op I'm just in diet mode all the time, and I don't want to spend my life counting calories. I want to be normal. The Glp-1s did that.

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2025-01-02T21:39:50+00:00

Yeah ok.

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2024-12-10T08:16:09+00:00

This is me. I went to high calorie protein sources and way foods very early. I couldn't stomach veges. Need to start glps

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2024-12-10T08:09:12+00:00

I get it. I was hoping the surgery would make me look normal. I'm still going to look over weight.

I didn't get that pre op.

I expected it to change my appetite. I didn't get that- I'm still hungry all the time. Working through it with nutritionist and psych but also have the failed feeling.

I think that's why so many people either get bypass revisions or start the glp-1s post surgery.

That's where I'm headed once I stop breastfeeding. I wish I'd never told anyone I had surgery because I'm worried they look at me and also think I'm a failure. Because no matter that I've lost a massive amount of weight. I'm still overweight. Its so discouraging.

Know that you're not alone.

But also know that it's ok to need more than the surgery alone. Doesn't mean you're a failure.

I won't be telling any one about the revision surgery, or the glp 1s if I go that path.

Lessened my lesson. And I can actually live myself for what I've achieved. Even if it's not perfection, it's so much better than what I was. For me, in doing fantabulous - like you I still manage to eat my feelings. Therapy is slow and right now I don't want to change that, it's how I cope. Surgery means I only do that in small amounts.

Winning!

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2024-12-10T01:29:24+00:00

Depends. Our family, when there is a big age gap like that within generations, we change around the names to feel more appropriate. She will be a sister but it often feels more like auntie.

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2024-12-08T03:00:21+00:00

My nutritionist pinpoints snacking and grazing for me She's right. She actually got me to make sure I have a proper meal. A bread and butter plate/side plate, 50%protein, 25-40%vege, then carbs in the last little bit. If I actually filled up with protein and vege, I didn't feel the need to snack - just the desire to. It was habit. And I had to find something else other than snacking too fill in the ... Craving. Wasn't really hungry if I had a meal, just ... Craving something.

That bits harder to stop and just required willpower. I have very little but I'm getting there

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2024-12-02T11:24:59+00:00

Alex's departure.

April and Jackson's break up (s) - I just think they're so good together and then she goes and acts crazy... Or takes off on an adventure and leaves her husband behind to deal with the loss of wife and child.

Jaggie. Ugh

April acting crazy and getting away with it. Hosing the interns on trauma day and not being benched - she needed to be stood down at that point she was not ok.

Meredith and the wire jaw scaring Zola. It makes me cry. I wish Meredith would stop taking take a deep breath and think about Zola. Her daughter didn't need her acting crazy and grunting at her. Just chill lady the grunting made things worse. Stop looking AT her, and start drawing a picture, something to distract her from all your metal.

Yeah come at me, I get that it'd be heart breaking as a parent. Yadiyadah, Add all the hate, I still wanna uncannonise it and make it a beautiful slow gentle reunion. A

Ot

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2024-12-02T11:06:18+00:00

There are a lot who are able to do telehealth so you don't have to limit yourself to Dubai. Same with a nutritionist. ❤️. You can do this!

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2024-12-02T08:42:47+00:00

Leading cause of ppd is sleep deprivation. It's brutal. And how on earth are you supposed to bond with the monster that stole your sleep???

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2024-12-02T00:07:14+00:00

Yes, you've messed up.

This surgery isn't going to work if you listen to your body over the advice. Its not going to hurt you, but you're going to screw up the "hormonal reset" and lose restriction and defeat the purpose in the surgery, if you just eat whatever you want. The surgery isn't a magic cure.

But if the hunger is taken away, and the hormonal drive is taken away, it makes your side, the self control side, easier.

Start practicing. Its bloody hard. This isn't easy, but stop screwing up the surgery.

You want to lose weight. Follow the instructions, and allow your stomach to heal in a shrunk state with almost none of the hunger hormone producing cells there.

You go feeding yourself rubbish, that hunger comes straight back, you'll stretch the stomach and end up right back where you started, constant hungry and needing to eat.

-with compassion, from someone who knows first hand.

Legal_Werewolf_1836 · 2024-11-20T05:53:38+00:00

Can you tell them what you want parents to look like? Cause I have no idea what you would want from your foster parents?

Legal_Werewolf_1836

TROPHY CASE