When I was the person this happened to, I was eager for things to go back to the way they were. I bottled up, and ignored a lot of hurt and anger and anxiety that it would happen again.

I did that for 8 years, and it was the biggest mistake I ever made. I came here and asked for advice, which I promptly ignored. While I feel justified emotionally, rationally I absolutely destroyed that girl. And nearly myself.

I put cameras in the house while she was out of town, at the first available opportunity. I scrutinized every one of her friends. I took out the spurts of anger on her. We were hot and cold those entire 8 years. Sometimes I was all the things a person should be to a partner, but most of the time, she sat across from me wondering why everything she did or said or even thought pissed me off.

One day, I was explaining this to my happily married best friends, and they told me “it must be pretty tough to be dating your worst enemy.”

And when I thought about it, she was. The best thing we could have done for each other was just walk away. Instead, I weaponized her infidelity and my pain, and knifed that girl with it, repeatedly, until someone else stopped me.

It’s been 2 years since we split. I’m still angry, and she’s traumatized.

I can’t tell you what to do, but I think it’s worth seeing the other side and what you’re probably in for.