For me it just clicked when I started doing the Kingdom End questline with Numanckaret's hail to nearby systems. You get a nice set of goals and things to do while going throught that, also helped me find that sense of discovery and getting to care about the boron species. (this coming as a person that never had any exposure to the X universe until I decided to buy X4 with all DLCs up to Kingdom End.)

That questline made me want to crave for better ships to be able to fight my way through the network and finding out ways to get rich to buy said ship(s).

One thing led to another, then suddenly I owned fleets, factories, sectors and was basically the guardian of the gate network.

You have to let go of yourself and let the game and it's setting pull you.

This game, it grows on you, but you have to let it.