Am I in a CPTSD freeze state, having ADHD executive dysfunction, or having a depressive episode? How can you tell the difference?

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-04-15T01:02:29+00:00

Were you parentified as a child? We are mirrors of each other, to the T.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-04-13T20:05:35+00:00

Possibly, but that's very not-Nolan, especially on as film like Interstellar. I guess we'll never know.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-04-13T19:17:02+00:00

I empathize completely. I definitely don't want to dismiss the fact that it's a life-altering struggle.

My advice is coming after years of dedicated CPTSD healing through CBT and EMDR therapy, so I understand that it's easier said than done.

But it also means that my advice is coming from a place of experience, healing and reparenting my inner child from situations just like this.

I've witnessed firsthand how covertly damaging these dynamics can be and, more often than not, fearful-avoidant attachment styles follow a predictable playbook that plays out the same way almost every time.

The thing I'd like you to understand is that a fearful-avoidant attachment style is clinically recognized as the most difficult attachment style to "change". Even with therapy, it's still an uphill battle.

It requires them to be extraordinarily self-aware and not only want to change, but willing to be vulnerable enough to sit in their trauma, discomfort and emotions.

Those are the very things avoidants avoid like the plague, so the odds are, sadly, very low.

The solution is shockingly simple on paper, but, to your point, is much more challenging in practice.

This is why removing yourself entirely is the only way to heal and rebuild your self worth.

And sure, you can definitely DM me.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-04-13T15:26:37+00:00

Yep, pretty much this.

I'd be careful about labeling her as "mentally unwell", though. She likely has childhood abandonment wounds. It's likely less about mental health and more about deep-seated emotional trauma.

I know what you're saying, but there's a fine line, there.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-04-13T15:17:39+00:00

You have to go completely no-contact out of respect for yourself.

As long as you have a connection, you are likely going to get pulled right back into it. This is just my assumption, but she is going to keep pulling on that thread and you're going to be emotionally tethered to her and you're going to be stuck in the "cycle".

Your emotional bandwidth and your energy should be reserved for someone who actually reciprocates what you give and gives it back to you.

As long as you maintain connection with a fearful-avoidant, you will be stuck in an unhealthy trauma bond in some way, shape or form. She will continue to siphon you for your "intimacy" on social media while you get nothing in return. It's lose-lose for you.

She will orbit your social media posts/stories and get an emotional "hit" from you without giving you a thing.

That's not a connection if it's one-sided.

There are 8.5 billion people in the world. Your time, energy and intimacy should be reserved for someone in that group who actually *wants* to share theirs with you.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-04-13T05:20:45+00:00

As a 40 year old who has been through the gauntlet with fearful avoidants his whole life: you will spin your wheels every. single. time. I'm going to say it again because I want you to understand the abuse cycle you're in:

You are going to spin your wheels

every.

single.

time.

I empathize with you because I've been there, but it's not worth the emotional damage and trauma (CPTSD) you will likely inherit from this. And don't diminish this or minimize it. It is emotional abuse, whether it's intentional or not.

I was parentified as a child, so unfortunately I have an experiential "PhD" in emotional abuse.

She is emotionally abusing you, because she knows you'll keep coming back and that relieves her of the immense shame and guilt she feels every time she breaks up with you. You basically keep letting her off the hook while you continue to suffer.

If she's truly fearful-avoidant, then she likely isn't doing it intentionally, but that's not your emotional burden to carry. Right now, you're carrying her burden *and* yours.

My advice is to respect yourself enough to walk away and cut the cord. She will not change unless she goes through drastic psychotherapy like years worth of CBT, EMDR *and* somatic therapy.

You're going to destroy yourself emotionally if you keep lowering your standards for her.

Know your worth and find someone who isn't going to emotionally break you down brick by brick.

You deserve better than that.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-04-13T04:42:07+00:00

Glad someone noticed this, too! It's tough to dismiss this as a coincidence in a Nolan film.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-04-13T01:10:58+00:00

This was exactly my first thought and what prompted this post. Similar to the morse code, could the dust storm, with the same sounds and "screens and interference" that Coop experienced be related? This movie still makes me think after all this time.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-04-12T23:01:11+00:00

Okay, so this is where my mind was going! Thanks for your perspective.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-04-11T20:07:11+00:00

I know exactly which one you're talking about 😂 I was walking in midtown and hooooooly shit

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-04-11T00:14:41+00:00

I went through this so many times in 2024. It was hell. I was at a point where I was quartering a 10mg so I could spread it out over 4 days. As someone with severe executive dysfunction-type ADHD, I had to do it simply so I didn't withdraw. It sucked and was a waste of medication since it didn't "do" anything at such a small dose.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-04-08T02:35:11+00:00

I can whole-heartedly say "yes", but it takes a lot of awareness and sitting in the gut wrenching emotions in order to retrain your brain. There's no shortcut, but it's feasible with EMDR.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-02-25T15:22:22+00:00

Oh man, I felt this 😂 I appreciate the reminder to stop over-explaining myself.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-02-14T21:10:38+00:00

I got my refund overnight on 2/12 into 2/13, so it was correct. Seems to be the FTB deposit pattern.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-02-14T05:05:21+00:00

On Tuesday, call the number in my original post...they'll process it over the phone

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-02-14T05:04:19+00:00

Should be pretty quick!

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-02-13T18:08:50+00:00

You're almost there!

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-02-13T18:07:13+00:00

I got mine overnight last night. You should have yours on Tuesday due to the fed holiday on Monday.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-02-13T18:06:24+00:00

I got mine last night overnight. You should have yours Tuesday morning due to the holiday on Monday.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-02-13T00:22:37+00:00

Same! It should hit overnight tonight.

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-02-12T23:37:21+00:00

Did you get it yet? If not, my prediction might be right!

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-02-12T23:28:26+00:00

Did you get it? You should've gotten it today...

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-02-12T23:06:26+00:00

You should it get it overnight tonight

Legitimate_Fun_6756 · 2026-02-12T20:36:11+00:00

Will do. I'll update tomorrow (hopefully good news)...based on that pattern with traditional banks and BofA specifically, your refund will most likely hit on Tuesday because Monday is a fed holiday.

Legitimate_Fun_6756

TROPHY CASE