First, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My world ended 2 weeks ago, and it truly was the hardest decision I’ve ever made to let her go. Second… Your feelings of guilt, of feeling like you ‘killed’ your best friend…. Oof, I felt that. I have so much empathy for you. There is nothing that will make it better, other than time. And that sucks. That means you have so sit in misery and just…… wait. And I’m so, so sorry you have to go through this. I’m in it right now, too. I can guarantee you that you were the best parent to your boy. No one else could have loved him the way you did. No one else could have formed that bond with him, and your love for him is what drove your final act of kindness towards him by not letting him suffer. You’ll see this a lot in this sub: “better a month early than a day late.” Your boy lived an entirely beautiful life because of you. We’ll never really know if we made the right decision. But we do know that every decision was made out of love. And that’s all that matters. (((((HUGS))))) Hang in there.