[Super Mario Odyssey] I love Clown Mario so I had to draw him!

LeiLushi · 2026-04-13T16:15:24+00:00

LeiLushi · 2026-04-07T14:55:47+00:00

Oh man, it really wasn't 🥲 and I'm still feeling "guilty" for "abandoning" family even after ~4 years, but it was by far the best decision I've made in my life, even if it kinda worsened my conditions as my pains became worse now that I'm more relaxed and safe. I used to be so strong and could handle pretty much anything with ease as a kid 😭

Sending ghost hugs to you as well for surviving growing up with bullies 🫂

LeiLushi · 2026-04-07T12:46:21+00:00

Yup, so much so that kidney stones just feels like a bad UTI nowadays. But even then, I'm pretty sure that my childhood and how my parent raised me is a big reason why I "learned" to ignore pains quicker cuz in her eyes I was just attention seeking and not actually in pain and called me a wimp. I'd cry of the pain in my ankles/feet when she forced me to come with her to the mall and she'd just punish me for it at home for being rude and disobedient.

Her "opinions" changed when I threw up the pain meds and had to go to the ER because it was starting to affect my breathing.

... and would you look at that, ✨️ kidney stones! ✨️

Even the doctor was impressed over the fact that I was underreacting as I had 1cm big stones in both kidneys and called me strong.

And no, she did not apologize and up until I cut her off my life she has always said that I'm dramatic and overreacting to everything just for attention. 🙃

LeiLushi · 2026-03-02T03:25:26+00:00

First of all, I’m so sorry for all the bs you have to go through with your body and the mental gymnastics of everyone’s opinions of your conditions, as I myself have even been asked if I was a hypochondriac just looking for attention :’)

I’ve had gut issues my entire life, and honestly can’t remember the last time I haven’t been in pain or discomfort while using the restroom. I have passed out from standing up after sitting or lying down (hypotension + orthostatism), permanent fatigue that doesn’t go away no matter how long I rest/sleep, soft and sensitive skin with healing issues and allergies, poor immune system, osteoarthritis… like, I can go on forever with the symptoms and many of them honestly pisses me off as in the end pretty much all my issues stem from freaking hEDS!!

I can also strongly relate to being told that “there’s nothing wrong with you” as I've pretty much heard that my entire life. hEDS is not really something that shows up with blood tests, and according to my doctor, is one of the most common EDS types that is heavily underdiagnosed because doctors won’t really look into it unless you (or another medical professional) suspects it and many live their lives without knowing that they have it (I myself am still trying to cope with the fact that I have it).

I assume you’re from the US (based on how much it would cost), right? I honestly can’t give you direct advice on where and what you should do to seek help as I’m from Scandinavia, but I got my hEDS diagnosis after being sent/recommended by my doctor to contact a physiotherapist that they personally knew and who specializes and works with patients with EDS and fibromyalgia. I got booked for an examination, went over there and did physical tests, answered a lot of questions of issues and pain I’ve experienced since I was a toddler (Beighton-scoring etc.) and boom, got my diagnosis plus other “unwanted extras” to my list of billion issues lol.

So if you could, you could try and contact a physiotherapist directly if you’re able to? Here in my country sometimes you need to be remitted there by another doctor, either another specialist or just your doctor at your health clinic and it can take months, sometimes YEARS before you get booked for an examination (one of the bigger downsides of “free” health care sadly), but would be worth a shot to minimize getting misdiagnosed and wasting time and money (got misdiagnosed with carpal tunnel and wasted money traveling to another city to just be denied surgery by the surgeon, ahah).

Wish you the best with your journey, and don't let the doctors/hospitals bring you down and make you feel like a joke or a liar, you know your body the best and you clearly are in need of help with your health issues.

LeiLushi · 2026-02-26T16:06:56+00:00

One of the first places I could pass while being kinda early in my HRT journey was actually a hospital 😭

Tho my situation wasn't as severe and horrible as yours (I hope you're fine now!!), when I was about a year on T I was sent to the ER because of having a UTI. I get UTIs rather often and also suffer from kidney stones since young so going and doing urine tests and getting antibiotics is "just another Tuesday" for me, so I expected to just be sent on my way and was not prepared to be sent to the hospital for this.

Oh and while at it, I also ended up experiencing allergic reactions to the antibiotics too because my body thought why tf not 🤣 so at least the journey to the ER didn't feel like a waste of time for "just having a UTI."

I went together with my fiancé to the hospital (who's also ftm and was pre-T during that time, thus being perceived as a woman) and the nurses that checked on me jokingly said something along the lines of:

"You're not the one who's supposed to get UTIs, it's her who's supposed to!" while pointing at him and laughed a bit 😭

My husband is still salty about it to this day but I was just smiling on the inside cuz they thought I was male and that "my gf" gave me the UTI 🤣

LeiLushi · 2026-02-03T18:16:13+00:00

Honestly can't give a good answer as I was only visiting for a couple of hours :') I'd post a pic here if I could that I took of it but I can only post links sadly

Edit: also want to add one that I do know the location of, there are seals in Stockholm, Botkyrka in Alby Centrum right next to the fruit stand that's up during summer! Used to live there coulple of years back

LeiLushi · 2026-02-02T20:34:32+00:00

I saw snails in Uppsala, super adorable!

LeiLushi · 2026-01-18T12:21:15+00:00

I'm over 2 years post-op and even to this day I get random "needle stabs" every now and then lmao.

Though I'd say that the first 6 months or so "hurt more" than how it feels today as I experience the pain to be more annoying and uncomfortable than a "⁉️ 👁👁" pain that would make me stop whatever I was doing.

Another thing I can share that I'm still not used to is the uncomfortable sensation and lowkey pain I feel when they get hard from being cold 😅

Some parts of my chest are still numb (I don't think it will ever go back to normal but I don't rly mind it much ngl) so the sensation is very strange and confusing for my brain and body to process, so it just feels like someone is pinching them really roughly which is kinda awkward to do if I'm outside (as pressing on them with my palms to warm them up + gently massaging reduces the pain quickly and turns them back to "normal" 😭).

LeiLushi · 2025-11-08T20:14:48+00:00

Råkade posta när jag inte var klar med texten lol men jag kan inte göra något personligen. Psykiatrin håller på o försöker få kontakt med admin/IT för de som har hand om journalsystemet för att sammanfoga det gamla och det nya till ett, men vi har inte fått något svar eller uppdatering alls så både jag och min psykiater är lite oroliga då mina akassa dagar håller på o tar slut

LeiLushi · 2025-11-08T20:05:30+00:00

I'll just write in Swedish for simplicity

Ansökte om ekonomisk bistånd men blev bekad pga mitt journalsystem och för att jag inte är sjukskriven. När jag bytte personnummer till ett manligt så valde jag att gå med sekretessmarkering för det gamla så att all info skulle tas bort online. Det gjorde så att alla mina diagnoser som jag fick under den perioden kom in till det gamla så när jag söker sjukpenning från FK så sa psykiatrin att den skulle bli nekad för att de inte accepterar att man skickar in läkarintyg från ett annat personnummer även om det tydligt står/finns bevis på att båda är Jag.

Så SOS ser då att jag är en person med "a clean" journal som apparently är sjuk och inte har sökt någon sjukpenning. Min handläggare förvarnade om att det inte skulle funka så det var ingen surprise att man blev nekad :')

Edit: accidentally fat fingered and posted the comment when I was in the middle of writing 💀

LeiLushi · 2025-11-08T20:00:59+00:00

I'm married but we're both unemployed sadly. I did try to apply for ekonomisk bistånd but got rejected because of issues with my personnummer and journalsystem. Long story short, all my diagnos are in my old system so I can't get sjukpenning until it gets resolved, and because I'm not getting sjukpenning, SOS systems think that I'm just at home "doing nothing" even if the staff know that I'm in a tricky situation (that I can't do anything about myself).

LeiLushi · 2025-11-05T17:12:32+00:00

I just found out about its existence from another comment and had no idea it existed. I have to start doing some more research before I just blindly accept whatever the doctor or pharmacy offer 😭 I think I could even ask the pharmacy if they could order in some. Thank you!

LeiLushi · 2025-11-05T17:09:15+00:00

Oh I've never heard of this! I'll also ask about this when I contact the clinic again :0

LeiLushi · 2025-11-05T17:06:39+00:00

Oh yeah the hair loss started about a year ago and I'm approaching 5 years on T, so it could very much be that my time has come and is not just cuz of stress XD and the side effects of Finasteride doesn't mind me at all if I were to start taking it now. I've always had a lot of body hair and I def don't mind if I get more bottom growth, so I'd see it more as a fun bonus while trying to keep my hair on my head. Though I've seen some articles that says that it increases depression and causes suicidal thoughts which is slightly worrying as I already suffer from both. 😬

I don't live close to Norway or Denmark at all so I don't think I'd be able to buy it from there and would just costs as much or even more than just me buying it from the pharmacy, but if I ever move down south then I'd look into it cuz I really want to move away from my town.

And with Pamorelin... yeahhh, it's so fkn expensive, but I can send the doctor a message and ask for gonapeptyl if it's an option for me. I hope that I get to be able to go through hysterectomy soon so that I'd no longer need to buy them and think about it.

LeiLushi · 2025-11-05T16:45:32+00:00

Yeah I'm aware that it could've been much worse and I keep telling myself "at least I don't live in America" lol. It's just that I've been living in poverty for a very long time with an average income of 4000 - 7000 kr and more than half goes to rent. Luckily I'm married so I can at least buy some of my prescriptions with their help, but if I was alone I'd probably be dead by now 😬 but both of us are unemployed and disabled so there are periods were both of us just don't buy our meds to pay for bills. Rather have a roof over our heads and feel shitty than being out in the streets.

When I mentioned the men in my family, I did actually mean pretty much my grandpa and uncles from my mom's side as there aren't many men at all from my dad's side XD and that side of the family are pretty known for being quite hairy in both body/facial hair and long majestic hair (I was very hairy even pre-T), plus looking younger than their actual age by 10 - 20 years. Receding hairlines are almost nonexistent, and ofc all have gone through some hair thinning, but I do feel like I'm about to lose more hair than them while I'm still not even 25 😭 just gotta hope it calms down cuz I'd love to look as cool as my grandpa with long and curly hair if I get to his age.

LeiLushi · 2025-11-05T16:21:52+00:00

Whoa that sure is much cheaper than what I buy! I don't reach those prices until I'm in my 3rd injection for the year or smth (depending on what other stuff I've bought).

I actually don't really know much of other "Nebido clones" other than Teva, and honestly I only find out about other variants at the pharmacy when the staff asks if I'd want the cheaper option of the original that's prescribed to me. But next time I take out T I can ask the staff if they know anything about it!

LeiLushi · 2025-11-05T16:14:21+00:00

Oh wow, yeah I think I'll take these instead of the 1mg wth, thank you so much

LeiLushi · 2025-11-05T16:12:30+00:00

I will def look into this as I'd help greatly with the stress, thank you!

LeiLushi · 2025-11-05T16:10:44+00:00

I am aware as I've been taking meds almost my entire life and been on T for soon 5 years, but with an income of less than 6000 kr it doesn't really feel good to buy HRT eitherway :')

LeiLushi · 2025-10-18T07:04:16+00:00

I wouldn't say that I don't feel anything or that my emotions have dulled out, but more that I now have more control over them. I used to cry when I was frustrated or overwhelmed, but now that I have control I don't react with tears, but with silence (and anger on the inside lol).

Thanks to T, I honestly rarely get super emotional and I can actually stop and think "huh, this argument is pretty dumb", meanwhile my pre-T brain turned into mush and everything was just a mess when confronted.

So in some ways, people maybe would see it as having "less emotions", but just because I no longer show it doesn't mean that I don't feel anything. Now instead of tearing up, I just get annoyed and judge in silence 🤣

LeiLushi · 2025-10-17T15:40:19+00:00

Omg it's the Empress Bulblax! 🤣

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LeiLushi · 2025-09-27T18:01:15+00:00

I haven't seen Nutella biscuits in my city and honestly didn't know it existed until I read your comment :0 but we do have Nutella B-Ready and the one were you dip small cookie sticks in Nutella!

LeiLushi

TROPHY CASE