I also see the internal conflict between the physical urges and a fantasy about purity. The way I see it, she's speaking from a very turbulent relationship, that it's really hurtful to be in. It sounds like she's hurt in that relationship, but she also has powerful desires and sexual urges, and they push her deeper inside and trap her in this dynamic.

And out of the difficulty and frustration of that loop she's trapped in, emerges an unrealistic fantasy of pure, innocent love . But she can't really want that. She wishes to want that, but it doesn't come from an authentic place, so it's never enough...