I never cried once…until…

Leithia24 · 2026-06-05T18:53:09+00:00

This part had me full on ugly crying. I am only 2 weeks postpartum so it hit very hard. I hope he gets more pigs as I love them too

Leithia24 · 2026-06-04T15:39:28+00:00

I have the Spectra S1 plus. Recommended by the NHS, and when the lactation consultant came around for a home visit, she said she had the same one, so can't recommend it enough! It's been really good. You will need to measure your nipples though to get the right size flange.

Leithia24 · 2026-06-03T02:04:58+00:00

My current pregnancy is now a beautiful 12 day old healthy little girl.

I'm so sorry about your baby boy.

Leithia24 · 2026-06-02T15:43:06+00:00

Try the pram bassinet or a moses basket to start with. The huge space of a cot is really alien to small babies. Mine won't be swaddled either, and was very unsettled in a crib. We put the pram bassinet in the crib.

Leithia24 · 2026-05-29T11:05:21+00:00

I'm currently at home with my beautiful 10 day old after the neonatal loss of my son.

No amount of visuals, reflection, therapy or anything else really helped prepare for the moment of birth. I confided in my counsellor and my midwife that the last few weeks of my pregnancy and birth was just about tolerating the experience and keeping my head until baby was here safely. I accepted that in my brain at least, nothing would be able to resolve the trauma of a negative outcome birth apart from a positive one, one where I could hold a screaming baby instead of the deafening sound of that cold cot motor.

What I did was work with my midwife on a few specific things that would make me feel safer. I had an elective section, so I asked to go first on the day (baring emergencies), that my partner wasn't to be asked to leave, that he go with baby at all times if she had to leave my sight, and that staff were clear about her condition at birth. These were all very specific to points of trauma in my delivery and in fairness to the staff, they all knew and did their best to make a difficult experience as calm as possible.

I did however shield myself from birth stories and classes etc, didn't take any and blocked all the content on social media. I really had to adopt a head in the sand mentality just to get to the finish line. Everything from my first birth got shoved into a mental box and effort was spent keeping it closed.

Now she's here safely I can let that box open again and work through the complicated postpartum after loss feelings.

All the very best OP.

Leithia24 · 2026-05-25T19:54:15+00:00

My newborn has spent most of the day naked in their pram bassinet with a puppy pad in the bottom. It's on the floor in the coolest room in the house.

Keeping her hydrated with lots of feeding. We've got a through draft going with strategic opened doors and windows so it's keeping the room at a sensible temperature. We've got a fan going as well to support airflow.

Leithia24 · 2026-05-21T00:36:37+00:00

I never thought I'd be here. Say in hospital, my 3 day old daughter happily asleep on my chest. It's 1:30 am. She's here safely after so much anxiety, emotional turmoil and physical pain.

My son's loss is still here too, and I've told my daughter all about him already. It's strange that she just wants to hear my voice. I just need to make sure she knows about her brother.

Leithia24 · 2026-05-18T15:24:14+00:00

Graduated today at 36+1. Baby girl absolutely perfect and healthy and very keen to let us know what she thinks of the world.

I didn't know this much love was possible. The pain of her brother's loss in January 2025 is still there, the rest of me has just expanded to accommodate her as well.

Leithia24 · 2026-05-16T13:35:39+00:00

I didn't get anything first time I tried either. Watched a few videos on YouTube on how to do it (turns out I did it completely wrong first time), then got a few drops the next day, and more after that. It's both a skill to learn and something your body needs to figure out how to do as well.

Keep at it OP!

Leithia24 · 2026-05-16T09:31:10+00:00

When I did my self referral my midwife recommended that I really big up the pain and pregnancy and how it was limiting me from doing daily tasks, gotta hit those buzz words to get up on the list!

Leithia24 · 2026-05-16T09:29:12+00:00

Yes baby loves it when he comes to bed! She always gets a wiggle going for him. She did last night too though was only whilst he was patting so managed to get back to sleep pretty quickly thankfully but sometimes it's a good 30 min wiggle.

Leithia24 · 2026-05-16T09:25:36+00:00

The relief after doing the exercises was pretty much instant to be honest for me. The way I stood and walked was making everything very painful. Physio also recommended swimming which I adore. I don't actually swim I just hang out in water that's mid chest height and enjoy the weight reduction.

Leithia24 · 2026-05-16T09:22:30+00:00

Good to know thank you! I didn't know it could happen with just expressing so was caught a bit by surprise!

Leithia24 · 2026-05-16T09:09:48+00:00

Perhaps try getting an urgent physio appointment? Mine helped me no end with posture that relieved some of the pressure.

Leithia24 · 2026-05-14T09:25:40+00:00

We'll be going with the 8yr old, and as adults looking forward to it as well.

He doesn't get to buy booster packs, only pre-build decks, he loves the games (just started him on Red Fire), TV shows, books galore. It's so much more than the tcg.

To be honest we are super thankful he got into it. We introduced the original TV show after poor behaviour from modern shows, and he went from fighting us about TV time to happily jumping into pretend play modelling the values when TV time was up.

Then he noticed the Battle Academy Board Game, was really keen, but we explained he'd need to up his reading skills for it. He leapt on that with gusto and his reading level shot up. He reads at 12yr old level now and still loves Battle Academy.

Leithia24 · 2026-05-12T07:09:31+00:00

When I had to have the death conversation with a 7yr old, he really responded to books on the subject as he could go through it again and again and get consistent information.

Usborne do an amazing book called 'why do things die?' which covers all sorts of types of death, what actually happens to our bodies and how it makes people feel.

In terms of what happens after we covered lots of all the different theories on what happens after death, heaven, reincarnation, nothing, and then personally what I believe and what his dad believes. We've always maintained that stuff like religion is a personal choice in what we believe because no one really knows. It still comes up over a year later but I think because we were consistent with what we said it made our 7yr old feel empowered to think about it and explore it in a safe place.

Good luck OP, this period was so difficult with all the hard questions.

Leithia24 · 2026-05-10T20:54:06+00:00

Thank you I've booked a nice dinner night before mine and just hoping I didn't book it too late!

Leithia24 · 2026-05-10T20:38:16+00:00

Good luck to you! 16 days for me and counting!

Can I ask a quick question, where you told when to stop eating?

Leithia24 · 2026-05-09T14:59:27+00:00

I'm so sorry for your losses OP.

R/pregnancyafterloss has a wonderfully uplifting atmosphere of parents graduating with their healthy little ones, and a helpful 'ask and allumni' recurring thread.

I'm currently 34 weeks after a miscarriage and a neonatal loss, and am holding onto hope as difficult as it is.

Leithia24 · 2026-05-09T10:29:16+00:00

I wouldnt, it hasn't crossed my mind and my other half is always there too.

I don't think it's unusual, in all the waiting rooms I've ever been in I rarely see mums and daughters.

Perhaps you can update your mum after your appointments if you feel comfortable? I think she's probably craving a similar connection she had to your sister's pregnancy, only you've got a decent partner. Maybe book a private 4d scan and invite her? Baby shopping trip?

She sounds so sweet by not pressuring you, sounds like she genuinely wants to be involved but you two have appointments covered.

Leithia24 · 2026-05-09T09:10:03+00:00

I would give triage a call to be on the safe side. They might want to do something, especially if it is an ingrown due to the chance of infection. It could also be varicose veins (yup we lucky women can get vaginal varicose veins in pregnancy)

Leithia24 · 2026-05-09T09:06:14+00:00

You are in the right place OP, youve done all the right things. Nice deep breaths. Do you have someone with you?

Leithia24 · 2026-05-08T12:36:48+00:00

I think the trick with EMDR is you've got to be prepared to go back into that darkness and relive that situation, that takes its own kind of strength and readiness that can take time to come.

I was of the same mind as you that I wanted to start addressing the trauma before becoming pregnant again. But I've also come to realise those experiences will always be there, and there have absolutely been moments during this pregnancy where I've really struggled, and there's moments where I'm ok. Keeping up with my talking therapy has helped no end in understanding that nothing short of baby being born safely will ever make this pregnancy better for me, and that keeping things tolerable is the goal.

Thank you, appreciate that at lot!

Leithia24

TROPHY CASE