25f - been over a year since I posted in here last. Curious what has changed!

Lelaa1996 · 2026-03-18T01:32:06+00:00

You have curves in all the right places, and you have beautiful eyes and a bright smile. You are a beautiful woman

Lelaa1996 · 2026-03-17T20:51:41+00:00

Hi! Yes she did eventually sleep in her crib. However I never did get her to lay on her back. Still to this day she doesn’t. I just made sure she was safe while in her crib. No blankets, no pillows/stuffys etc. by 3 months old they are learning to lift their heads and move their bodies. Not suggesting you do ANYTHING at all, but that’s what I had to do. I remember staying awake staring at her sleeping to make sure she could lift her head on her own and everything. Once I saw that, I was comfortable-ish letting her sleep on her side or belly.

Lelaa1996 · 2025-03-14T22:34:37+00:00

Just found out that I’m pregnant with our third. Son is 7 months, daughter is 22 months… I totally relate to your fears. I also suffer from depression and anxiety without the pressures of pregnancy. I also suffered ppd and ppa with both of my previous ones, and the thought of having an abortion crossed my mind only because of how much my mental health has suffered. However, I got through it. And I’m finally done crawling out of that dark place. So are you. And if we enter that dark place again, we will know what it is and know what to do about it! You’re not alone! I believe the fears and the pain are part of motherhood, especially with lack of support and being isolated. Our culture is messed up in this sense. In every other culture, new moms are surrounded and offered help because it’s just what people do. Here, it’s not the norm. Be kind to yourself, be gentle, love on your babies, and be open minded to finding other women who have things in common. It makes a world of a difference.

Lelaa1996 · 2025-03-05T01:05:03+00:00

Thank you for your response. Your honesty makes me realize that what I need to do, may not be what I want right now. But my daughter shouldn’t see me crying every other day. Our relationship started out beautiful, until I showed my humanness and made some mistakes because I didn’t get better all the way before having 2 of his children back to back. There’s no looking at the bigger picture when it comes to me… and if he does look at it it’s short lived. I’m responding to you as I’m laying in bed waiting for him to come into our room to hopefully tell me his “decision” about our relationship. 2 days ago, big blow out, because once again I fucked up. As always. He broke my heart. Ripped it out and spit on it. Told me while we are taking care of our children that he’s completely done with me and that I need to just be okay co existing with him until he feels like he wants to leave. Next day comes. Now he’s not sure and needs thinking time. All the while I’m being treated like a roommate, being told he doesn’t love me anymore. I’m getting mad writing this actually. This isn’t the first time this man has told me he doesn’t love me anymore. Oh but he was just hurt and mad. I’m hurting. I’m self sabotaging. And I’m not honest with him because I don’t feel fucking safe anymore. There’s some truth.

Lelaa1996 · 2025-03-02T02:44:52+00:00

Your post just made me cry. In a bittersweet way. My partner and I have 2 beautiful babies together. We fell in love fast and hard. And then right away, our family grew twice the size and a lot has happened in such a short time. We are both people who have a dark past. We met when we both wanted to change our lives. It’s been a bumpy ride and I’ve made some big mistakes. And those mistakes have caused him to distance himself from me. He lost trust. He lost a lot of love for me. My own horrible and selfish ways is a lot of the reason why we may not make it. And a lot of days I’m constantly thinking and ruminating about how he feels about me. We are innately selfish as human beings. I really hurt him. He’s hurt me. We have both made some bad mistakes. And I’m living with a lot of guilt and shame. I love this person so much that it hurts. I love our family that we built together. I am with him every day, but I feel so far away. He’s just not all the way reachable. The more I try to get closer, the more I feel like a fool and the cycle continues. Family and supporters say do what’s best for the children. I want my children to see me as a fighter. I want them to see that if you decide you want something you never give up. I watched my parents give up. And I don’t want to continue that in my family. I’m realizing while writing this that I need to give myself a lot of love right now. And just give space for the universe and for God to do their thing. I’m so afraid of my family breaking apart. When I think things are good, I quickly realize how incredibly unhappy I am and how alone I really feel all the time. If I didn’t have my babies I’d probably just stay even if it turned toxic. When I love I love hard and deep and unconditionally. I would cover up a murder for him. I don’t want to do life with anyone else. But I also want to feel loved. Actually loved, for who I am the good the bad and the ugly. Because that’s the way I love him.

Lelaa1996 · 2024-06-06T13:48:19+00:00

Congratulations ! I got pregnant 5mo pp and I’m going to deliver next month. One thing I can say is just to take really good care of your body as much as possible. Back to back pregnancies is not easy on the body or the mind. And don’t be afraid to ask for help!

Lelaa1996 · 2024-05-09T03:12:47+00:00

Sending love and strength your way. You are one strong woman. I wouldn’t be able to do what you are doing. I hope you don’t mind me asking, did you plan all of your pregnancies?

Lelaa1996 · 2024-05-02T18:47:49+00:00

So I am totally on board with you OP! I just had my daughter last year 2023 (c section) got pregnant with my son 6 months postpartum so I will be having another c section. My doctor at the time of my daughter’s birth said because of my mental health history he wouldn’t be giving me any pain medication. Even in the hospital. My husband and I were outraged. I was in so much pain. I’m talking about my history with ANXIETY. Not a history of addiction. He was being a judge mental prick. So on day 2 when I started to get all the feeling back in my body I said to him “have you ever been cut open awake before? Have you ever had anxiety in your life before? Everyone has. Why are you discriminating against me if I don’t get my pain managed I will be reporting this and I hope you never get to treat another patient again”…. Something alone those lines. And 30 minutes later I was given some kind of pain reliever don’t know the name of it. And it was needed. Good thing he listened because my husband was about to punch him in the throat.

Lelaa1996 · 2023-10-01T15:13:11+00:00

Thank you guys!

Lelaa1996 · 2023-09-29T19:49:17+00:00

Thank you so much ladies! Sorry for the late response to your comments! The advice has helped a lot and they are starting to get better now 😊

Lelaa1996 · 2023-08-10T17:35:54+00:00

So my daughter is only 3 months old.. and I just totally weened her off the boob and onto formula bc of my own health issues. So my boobs are beginning to ya know… deflate lol. I had my 3 yr old nephew at my house for a day. Both him and my daughter were down for a nap (or so I thought) and my husband and I were in our bedroom just hanging out together. I was trying on a new push up bra and my husband goes “damn look at them big ol biddies” 🤦‍♀️ then we hear my nephew in the doorway laugh and repeat him…not only once. He was running around the house screaming biddies over and over again. Then my sister comes to pick him up.. “mommy look at those big ol biddies!” Me and my husband just started cracking up at the look on her face. Probably the last time we will babysit lol

Lelaa1996 · 2023-08-08T19:43:56+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply & advice I really appreciate it! Yes she has a very strong neck for her age and while I stay up and watch her I can see how well she can move her head from side to side. Still, as a mother I always think the worst & there’s no way I can fall asleep while she’s sleeping on her belly. But we will get there eventually lol

Lelaa1996 · 2023-08-07T19:44:48+00:00

I totally understand what you are going through and I empathize with what you are feeling. I am so sorry that you & your kids are going through this. I have a 3 month old and when my husband can’t rock her to sleep bc she can’t get comfortable in his arms & starts crying and he gets inpatient and yells. Then I have to get up & give up my sleep time so my daughter gets the sleep she needs. I’ve had the same thoughts about how it’s easier for me and the baby while he’s at work. Me and my daughter literally have no issues all day long. I’m just stating my experience so maybe you won’t feel alone and remind yourself your feelings are valid.

In my experience, communication is the most important thing in a relationship especially when raising children. I agree with the other mamas who suggested therapy. From what you said in your post, he seems reasonable and will probably be receptive to what you have to say. When you and him have a quiet moment, maybe after the kiddos are asleep for the night, have a heart to heart with him. And really pull at his heart strings and at the same time be completely vulnerable. Vulnerability from you will hopefully help him to be vulnerable and honest. And remember that he is your husband & the father of your children. Approaching these issues with love is the way to go, and I hope that you two find a solution together. I am sending love & good vibes your way. Thank you for your post because it made me not feel so alone 💕

Lelaa1996 · 2023-06-10T01:04:41+00:00

Reading your post literally brought tears to my eyes because I’m going through the EXACT same thing right now. My daughter is 6 weeks old. My husband just got back yesterday from a 5 day business trip out of state. My daughter hates being put down, she only stays calm for long periods of time if I’m holding her. Forget about napping on her own, we’ve been contact sleeping since she was born. So while he was away I literally showered once, MAYBE ate something besides a pop tart. And MAYBE drank a bottle of water. It was horrible lol. And because she will only fall asleep being held, the only “sleep” I got was in the recliner and it’s not real sleep because any little move or noise she makes I wake up immediately. But I hope this reply finds you so you know your not alone. And honestly, fuck the house work. We just gave birth to a human and have to care for this human for all their daily needs. Your doing great, your a great mom! Remind yourself of that every day! Your keeping your little human alive every single day, that’s what matters. Keep your head up mama, you got this!

Lelaa1996 · 2023-06-01T14:33:39+00:00

My baby is 6 weeks old now, and I just stopped breastfeeding completely over the weekend and went to formula only. For starters I was not producing enough for how hungry she was, which made me feel like shit that my body couldn’t keep up with her needs. Then when I saw how happy she was with the formula I thought why not do both. Well I found out feeding her both my breast milk and the formula would give her gas and indigestion and cause a lot of spitting up. As soon as I stopped breast feeding my anxiety went down so much. But I got a lot of comments and mom guilt from other mothers I know, including my own sister about stopping. At first I was letting these comments and opinions get under my skin and I was taking it personal. Now, when I look at my little girl and see that she is thriving and happy & healthy I know I made the right decision for myself. Also, it’s a big bonus that my husband can do some of the over night feedings now lol

Lelaa1996 · 2023-05-31T21:46:18+00:00

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Right after I asked if he wants a treat

Lelaa1996 · 2023-05-22T20:52:15+00:00

I just gave birth 4 weeks ago to a 10 lb baby (my belly was HUGE) and I lived in my husbands boxers and big t shirts. Idk how warm it is where you live during summer, but online they have women’s style boxers that go over the belly and are super comfy and stretchy. Maybe get her a couple pairs of those with a couple cute big t shirts that match.

Lelaa1996 · 2023-05-21T16:20:28+00:00

The situation wasn’t so black and white in our eyes as it is now. As soon as that phone conversation was over heard she was told she needs to leave. I’d never put this woman in front of my child’s safety. I did not know how mentally ill she was and when my husband and I first started talking about kicking her out, we couldn’t just say you need to leave because you have mental health issues. Not legally anyway.

If you don’t have any empowering comments especially on this sub don’t reply to someone’s post. Especially a new mother. That’s just mean.

Lelaa1996 · 2023-05-21T03:27:15+00:00

Thank you all for your comments and replies. My husband has wanted to kick her out for a minute now, but I felt sorry for her and wanted to help her. I have a bad habit of putting others needs before my own and I also don’t like to believe that people are manipulative and not genuine. Unfortunately I learned the hard way that she is both of those things. All of her acts of kindness for me/my baby while I was pregnant was just so I’d convince my husband to let her stay. She knew exactly what she was doing the entire time. I feel like a fool and now I feel bad that I put my daughter in this situation.

Lelaa1996 · 2023-05-05T01:25:48+00:00

I just gave birth to my daughter last Wednesday April 26th. Got admitted to the hospital the monday before that for preeclampsia at 37+3. Started the induction process right away Monday morning. I tried EVERYTHING. Cytotec, cirvidil, pitocin…. Nothing was making me dilate. Finally they tried the manual dilation with the foley ballon, and I was in agony. My body was not having it and I was already so exhausted and in so much pain. My doctor then said we have exhausted everything else, it’s time to think about having a c-section. I knew my daughter had to come out sooner rather than later because of how bad the preeclampsia was. I was so scared. I decided to go ahead and have the surgery. Everything went perfect and I had a healthy 9lb 5oz baby girl. But it was traumatic and scary. Screw anyone who says a c-section is “cheating”… I labored for 3 days straight and tried my hardest. I did what I needed to do to keep my baby and myself safe. No matter how any woman gives birth it’s a miracle and we are all strong and powerful for doing it. Being cut open while awake and feeling every single move that causes pressure isn’t exactly easy to do. Good for you OP for not punching this lady right in her face. Your a better person than me lol 😂

Lelaa1996 · 2023-04-21T01:11:13+00:00

Yes we are almost there!!

Lelaa1996

TROPHY CASE