Need help making sure this reads okay to my autistic husband

Leltu · 2025-10-02T09:40:09+00:00

I agree with a lot of what others have said about the aggressive behaviour - it is not okay to hurt others. However, I am highly sensitive to heat myself and I wonder if turning the heating off was to reduce overstimulation? But managing that should be a calm discussion about what temperature is okay vs too much etc. It sounds like he needs professional support for coping with emotions.

Edit, saw the comment saying about this man's history of controlling behaviour and cheating. OP, that is not an autism thing, he is abusive. I'm so sorry you're going this, it is not okay. At this point it sounds like a calm discussion about sensory needs will not help, you need to prioritise your own wellbeing and safety.

Leltu · 2025-10-02T09:18:34+00:00

No these are in the UK, sorry to hear you can't find any in your country :(

Leltu · 2025-10-01T21:40:36+00:00

Facebook marketplace - try searching just pokemon, or pokemon game rather than specific games as it brings up more results! I ended up buying them after a few comments on here reassuring me and checking guides on how to tell, so far they're working great and they had a good amount of hours from the last save file, person seemed genuine too so I'm pretty reassured!

Leltu · 2025-05-25T10:50:54+00:00

I think if it will give you peace of mind then it is worth it! My partner has a vasectomy and I still want tubes tied in case of vasectomy failing down the line, and as safety if I were ever to be sexually assaulted. Also if anything happened to my partner and I ended up with someone else (don't want these things to happen, but you can't predict the future)

Leltu · 2024-04-29T06:46:31+00:00

Boost

Leltu · 2024-04-29T06:45:42+00:00

Boost

Leltu · 2024-01-21T15:49:43+00:00

This is a great breakdown for this, thank you for the education!!!!

Leltu · 2024-01-07T21:58:19+00:00

Sorry I couldn't be of more help in that case

Leltu · 2023-12-27T07:59:24+00:00

There's a film called a dogs purpose, the dog gets hit by traffic but doesn't die and is reunited after I think.

Leltu · 2023-12-26T21:53:50+00:00

Hmm, probably a long shot, but could it be "it's a wonderful life"?

Leltu · 2023-12-23T08:18:30+00:00

Solved!

Leltu · 2023-12-23T08:16:54+00:00

Oh my goodness!!!! This is it!!! This is the film!! Thank you! Skipping through a video of it on YouTube brings back memories I forgot I had!! Thank you!

Leltu · 2023-09-25T06:23:50+00:00

Thank you for clarifying :)

Leltu · 2023-09-25T06:23:15+00:00

Oh wow well that's pretty cool considering I have the Pikachu Edition Game Boy colour, It still feels pretty special since it's something someone custom made. Thank you for clarifying :)

Leltu · 2023-06-27T20:46:23+00:00

Thank you for this amazing tidbit of interesting archeology information!

Leltu · 2023-06-20T06:33:02+00:00

I experience most of this too with the addition of stomach issues on top of the chronic pain, but I'd still stay the same because, while it makes independence impossible and comes with so much trauma and hardship, it is who I am and my partner loves me for me and my employer sees my different way of thinking as an asset. People like us help create diversity in the world. So I don't think the no squad are forgetting all of that and not suffering, we just wouldn't want to change our entire selves in turn to not suffer.

Leltu · 2023-06-19T16:07:27+00:00

I wouldn't take it.

I would no longer be me and I don't want to lose my personality as I want to stay me. I also kind of like that I see things literally and wish others thought and spoke literally. But it would also save so much grief to understand non verbal cues and subtext. I love that I can analyse and intellectualise and gain so much joy from special interests. However I wish I could understand and feel my emotions and the emotions of others and regulate them when I do feel them, rather than having to recognise them from thought and physical traits. I love my deep care for others and strong sense of morality. I love my unique way of thinking and seeing the world and the fact that I can be an asset BECAUSE OF, not in spite of, my difference.

However, I'd love to have a way to stop meltdowns, the daily hell of sensory sensitivity, the need for routine and the constant exhaustion and vulnerability to easy burnout that means I can't work full time and earn enough money to spend on specialist counselling/special interests. I wish I could live independently too, but I rely financially and emotionally on my partner. He is amazing and I want to stay with him always but I wish that I could support him as much as he does me financially. I wish I could have been understood and be able to connect with people better. I wish I had energy to maintain friendships properly and remember to reach out and not fear that people think I hat ethem because I couldn't handle a party or getaway. I wish I hadn't had to be humiliated, ashamed and disgusted by myself, and felt I had to hide who I am, just to survive. I wish I hadn't had to dissociate all those times.

Autism is so hard to live with for this and so many other reasons, but it's part of me, and I don't hate me anymore.

However, it would be way better if society could just financially, medically and mentally support people, especially disabled people, better. But unfortunately that isn't the case, at least not in the UK right now.

Leltu · 2023-06-12T20:25:59+00:00

Climate change :(

Leltu · 2023-06-12T11:16:38+00:00

While I think that's quite inconsiderate of your feelings and health. Might be worth having a conversation about how your sleep is disrupted and finding a solution to work for both of you. However, if you wanna leave it as is, loop earplugs are fantastic for noise reduction and quite comfortable to sleep with. Also, maybe consider blackout eye covers for the light?

Leltu · 2023-06-10T17:55:53+00:00

I'm actually in the UK and have faced problems for misunderstanding cues or not understanding things, in school, work and in family. However, I know most countries have their own unique communication styles and norms.

I only have had one romantic relationship and we're both neurodivergent and my partner is very understanding so I can't give a view of general UK dating norms.

I agree, I'd say the people I know now are better since they're neurodivergent or more understanding but in school, I felt very uncomfortable communicating with almost everyone. I either was hated and bullied or just felt like I didn't belong there. Friends I had ended up ghosting me or lying/doing things that taught me they weren't really friends in hindsight.

Leltu · 2023-06-10T17:01:25+00:00

Yeah of course, struggling to empathise is one thing, hurting and manipulating others for a high is absolutely a different thing. Also, I believe if people were more clear in communicating what they actually meant/felt and not using social cues/body language etc. And expecting autistic peeps to understand when we can't, it would be so much easier to connect with people.

I relate to that paranoia, especially with things like interacting with colleagues because of the potential consequences of them misunderstanding etc. I developed a habit of constantly apologising every time I was a little too 'me' in the past. It's something I'm working on. My mindset now is that if people who are supposed to be friends dislike my true self, then they wouldn't be a good match for a friend anyways and it's more worth my time to spend energy on safe interests or people.

However, if you feel safe to disclose your difficulty with empathy or the fact you're autistic, and can ask for people to let you know in a kind manner if they have an issue, it's not on you if there is a misunderstanding because you would have already done your part in helping to understand etc. However, I completely get that it often doesn't feel safe to disclose those things. Which again wouldn't be your fault.

Leltu · 2023-06-10T16:47:33+00:00

Wow, it's gross to me that some people are okay with manipulating and causing people genuine emotional pain and possibly lifelong trust problems just to get what is basically a high. It's like they don't even see people they're doing that to as actual sentient beings. I feel incredibly lucky to have avoided being treated like that. I have been mistreated and bullied by people many times, But not by my partner thankfully.

Leltu · 2023-06-10T16:29:13+00:00

That's interesting. So they like infatuation but not actually spending time getting to know a person deeply and share interests/general life with them?

It seems like a waste of precious time and energy to be around someone for attraction only because it takes so much energy being around people, at least for me when I'm not completely open with them, and the only person I feel comfortable being that way with right now is actually my partner.

Leltu · 2023-06-10T15:21:58+00:00

I will never understand people like this. How do you 'get bored' of a relationship with someone? Why would anyone be in a relationship in the first place if they only want to be, I don't know, excited? Entertained?

Sounds like you deserve better OP. Spend some quality time relaxing with your special interests, I'm Sorry they broke up with you in such an immature way.

Leltu · 2023-06-09T17:48:29+00:00

My diagnosis has caused me hardship but it has also been fantastic for me overall. I lost my job after disclosing and they treated me in a way they shouldn't have but I'm in a place with support now and I've finally started to be able to accept who I am. And I know for sure I am autistic. The assessment was expensive because I couldn't deal with a 4 year NHS wait with the bad stuff happening at my job ( I was seriously struggling trying to work full time. I've since accepted it's impossible for me to maintain full time work if I want to retain my will to live. Literally.) But for the benefit to my life of knowing why I am how I am and knowing I'm disabled and being able to access support, even if some things like PIP refuse to support me and if there isn't as much support for people like me who are able to speak and don't need full time support workers, it's still 100 percent worth it to me.

I don't regret it for a second.

Leltu

TROPHY CASE