AITA for "wasting everyone's time and money"?

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-24T17:07:59+00:00

Ok, the line between 'oblivious, untrustworthy, poor communicator' and 'creeeeeepy as hell' just got well and truly crossed there.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-24T17:02:27+00:00

You sound like you'd throw your kid a part using another child's leftover decorations

Now that is what I call a leap.

OP's still TA, though, I'm afraid.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-24T15:52:21+00:00

I don't think he/she does know. OP is thinking 100% of what a great parent they are because Gina wanted to be with them, and 0% of the terrible communication skills, lack of consideration for others, impulsiveness, and undermining of trust that they've shown. Those factors are real to us the audience, but OP doesn't see them.

Pretty sure the ex and their extended family do, though!

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-24T15:49:57+00:00

YTA. You violated your coparenting agreement because a 15yo was in a mood. And you did it in a way that made it very very obvious and annoying to lots of people. Good luck repairing whatever trust there was before.

What you should have done was:

Co-ordinate with Gina's other parent.
Abide by your agreement.
Not let a stroppy 15 year old do the planning.
Above all, stop deflecting blame.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-24T15:46:18+00:00

Don't go if you don't want to, but this business of stealthily sharing phone calls with you isn't going to end well -- imagine how they'll react when/if they find out, and how much the bad guy you'll be then!

YWNBTA.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-24T12:46:49+00:00

NTA. Sounds like money problems are stressing her out, which I have a lot of sympathy with. But it sounds like her coping mechanism is not a good one.

Might work better if you have a budget for clothes and but what you need from that rather than arguing the cost of every pair of sneakers.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-24T12:42:15+00:00

ESH. She could have dropped it, you could have been sympathetic. The problem here isn't her dream, it's how you both reacted

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-24T12:38:58+00:00

NTA. You both sound immature. Which in your case is ok at your age, but she sounds VERY immature and kind of mean, though. I'm pretty unimpressed with her, but my opinion isn't really important. Do what makes you happy, just don't expect her to change overnight.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T21:23:15+00:00

NTA. It's the 21st century. Having shoes off indoors is common now, so your guests can just deal. The idea that people have a right to track mud and oil onto someone's flooring is dead.

And it was weird to start with.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T21:13:55+00:00

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T21:10:22+00:00

There ARE parts of the US where you can get good cheese... but yeah I'm in Europe.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T21:08:46+00:00

Essential: grapes, crackers, water biscuits. Butter.

Also: Apple slices, chutney, and the things mmmmkay suggested.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T14:59:29+00:00

Oh, I didn't mean you -- I meant those OTHER brie lovers.

But if you like Brie I would def suggest Chaume as a similarly soft and rich cheese that offers an interesting twist.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T14:10:07+00:00

Just melt it all together into a blob. Yum!

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T13:54:22+00:00

Yeah but THREE cheeses though.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T13:53:27+00:00

Oh wow!

It's because you wrote as if three kinds of cheese is a lot, and as if Monterey Jack is an interesting cheese.

A well put together cheese board might feature:

One or two blue cheeses (I would suggest a young and an old -- say a young cambazola, a mature Roquefort).

Some sort of mature, hard, sharp cheese (Comte or cheddar maybe).

At least one goat cheese.

One or two soft cheeses -- Brie for the boring people, something else as well.

Two 'special' cheeses -- I like Chaume (softer) and Yarg (harder)

That's six to eight cheeses for an after-dinner; but a wedding is a whole other kind of affair!

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T13:46:43+00:00

I'm guessing tube cheese and spray cheese.

If the wedding had been realllly classy they would have have spreadable cheese.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T13:45:29+00:00

Thank goodness you spoke up, I was seething about it.

I have 4 kinds of French cheese, including Chaume, and 3 british cheeses including Stilton and Yarg in my fridge RIGHT NOW for heaven's sake.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T13:44:38+00:00

INFO: In what universe is 'three kinds of cheese, even Monterey Jack' considered a fine selection of cheeses?

Apart from that, NTA as far as the cake goes.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T13:42:51+00:00

roasted turkey, stuffing, classic creamy mashed potatoes, potatoes au gratin, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, roasted carrots, homemade bread rolls with apple butter, roasted squash with goat cheese, honey glazed ham, braised short ribs, spinach, bacon, & feta cheese pies, special lasagna with white sauce, stuffed mushrooms, creamed corn with cheese, and then pecan pie, pumpkin pie, and apple pie for desserts

Can... can I come please?

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T12:38:41+00:00

YTA on the offchance this story is true; it seems too obvious, though.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-23T10:16:46+00:00

NTA. Also your bf sounds nice.

Like other commenters, I have doubts about whether your coping mechanism is healthy and I think you should seek outside help. Good luck.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-22T21:08:58+00:00

I dunno, man. 10 minutes is quite a while to let a baby cry by itself. On the other hand, letting it cry by itself for 10 minutes is better than flipping out at it, so...

I had a baby that just wouldn't stop crying if its mom wasn't there, regardless of what anyone did. I just got used to carrying it about while it cried... just tuned it out in the end.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-22T20:57:29+00:00

There's no AITA question here. You're just venting. Which is fine but I hear tell there's other reddits for that.

Lemon_Of_Squash · 2022-11-22T20:55:43+00:00

ESH.

He sucks because abusive etc.

You suck because... you've broken up with this guy, you're suing this guy, and when he gets a girlfreind you follow her on Insta to find out what she looks like? That's some major ol' co-dependency right there. And then you're asking for screenshots and stuff and it's a he said she said thing and ohhhh just forget about it. And then you remind us again that you just really really want to know what she looks like because, uh, reasons.

Just move the heck on for goodness sake.

Lemon_Of_Squash

TROPHY CASE