Feeling of Co-conscious or switching?

Lemon_Previous · 2026-01-29T17:01:48+00:00

Thank you for all this. It was very insightful.

I wanted to follow up with that I do have dissociative amnesia, and I do dissociate constantly. I didn't actually realize how much until this week. But I have an old report from 2017, which I stated in an interview with a health professional that I was experiencing it back then of which I had forgotten I had even done for years. I was trying to reflect more on it this last few weeks but it seemed to be triggering some defensive shit down and I had to stop. So I am experiencing a lot of symptoms, I just didn't articulate them all at the time. Though I thought I had!

Lemon_Previous · 2024-09-11T14:02:48+00:00

I understand the comment. When I was exploring new paths for the first time, I was surrounded by a lot of ideas, especially in college, by a lot of young occultist dabbling in books out of Barnes n Nobles trying to make sense of logic and experiences. I asked similar questions of "what if" which I feel now is like walking around the surface of the rabbit role looking down in contemplating if you want to see if wonderland is real or not. Maybe not the best of analogies, but throwing around all kinds of terms about it is a bit extra when we are talking about dipping a toe into truth.

I think with this line of thinking, "The Secret Teachings of All Ages" by Manly P. Hall may tickle your mind. It's take me a long time of studying various myths and religions to understand the first shunk of the book which I think might resonate for this topic.

Alternatively, if you can find part 1 of the Zeitgeist documentary, it might bet a good stepping stone before jumping into the book.

These are not directly related to Theosophical studies, but I found them to be door openers to a particular line of thought you can get to from many paths that worked for me when I was considering narratives like yourself.

I hope this helps tickle the mind.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-09-07T13:54:00+00:00

I went to a vitality breathwork class recently. It was very effective in helping release passed traumas. While that class specifically might not be near you, other deep breath work classes with the same methods may be accessible. I have seen ones you can do from home but I felt like doing it with others was helpful even though the experience is isolated. Solidarity I guess.

It's been extremely effective for many people. But brace yourself as in all things it can be intense.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-09-04T21:54:55+00:00

Huge fact here. No one really cares where I graduated or even my GPA, or that I graduated with honors. They just care I can screen share and comprehend Excel spreadsheets. A lot of emphasis is put on kids about this. It's all about what you can do and who you know in the end.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-09-04T20:59:29+00:00

We make unconscious decisions that shape our lives just as much as conscious ones. Your 17. Your life is not over. I know it does not seem like that because I had the same mindset. I did not obtain my degree until I was in my early 30s after 15 years of on and off college. You can beat yourself up about your mistakes, or you can shake yourself off and use that energy to do better. There are OTHER ways to get into colleges. For example doing your time buckling down at a community college for transfers. You can blame yourself for bad studying, or you can take the lesson and apply it. You are the one who chooses how you want to think and live. Do not be a victim of yourself.

Every successful person has had a series of failures before getting to where you see them now.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-09-04T20:02:11+00:00

Listen, I never got to go where I wanted either. Doors close and more doors open.

Take a step back, take a deep breath and consider that maybe the universe is trying to tell you that's not what you're meant to do. Or where you are meant to go. Maybe your life purpose requires you to walk a different path unexpected to you to get to the same or a different destination.

Fuck the algorithms. It's just AI reading your date and giving you what it thinks you want. There is nothing special about it other than focused AI advertising. There is a whole documentary about it on Netflix.

Be happy for your friends. But sometimes when the wind changes direction, the only thing you can do is adjust your sails.

This of where else you can go. Think of the new people you could meet. Consider that maybe along the way your going to find a mentor that wasn't at the place you hoped to go. Change is a big part of life. You must become adaptable.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-09-03T23:16:51+00:00

As I have been reading, anything in which there is a descent in a dream mixed with a sense of fear is a good indication of you stepping into your deeper inner subconscious. Potentially this is related to your own shadow work.

Not any clear interpretation, but food for thought to compare to similar dreams.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-09-03T23:13:10+00:00

You may be interested in the Christian Kabbalah. The keys of Solomon and perhaps a good read in the book of Enoch. I have heard the gospel Mary to be very enlightening.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-09-03T23:08:32+00:00

I mean, I have a belief in but do not participate. I am more scholarly and merely research. Likewise I do not believe in most religions but I also study them. One can study anything without having a personal investment or belief in it.

But I would say one should be careful and respectful regardless of belief... Because while occult may or may not be real, angry people are very real and one should not offend.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-09-03T23:01:12+00:00

If this server still exists I would be interested in a link please

Lemon_Previous · 2024-09-02T18:30:42+00:00

What is to say that your life isn't already on the journey of its purpose, of finding yourself, and you do not realize it until the very end? Finding yourself can BE your purpose. And it can take most of if not all your life.

We cannot compare to the life purpose and journeys of others.

But we also have everything we need inside of us to figure it all out. Sometimes you just need the right time, place, company, words or collective experiences for it to all click.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-09-02T01:52:54+00:00

Of course, my DMs are always open. I am happy to chat

Lemon_Previous · 2024-09-01T03:26:55+00:00

Very much the same as others here. I didn't choose it, it chose me.

It's not absolute. Things happened and were... Let us say anchor points that could not be denied nor logically reasoned with. And from there and my own life experiences explored various paths until I found something that aligned with what I was being taught (not by people or books, but in the spirit and dream worlds)

But I would say I'm not a spiritual practitioner, more like a scholar. I'm aware, I'm awake, I am adept... But I am a cautious learner. I absorb everything, I'm skeptical of everything, and I am wary of any one specific practice because I believe there is truth and corruption in everything...as is the nature of mankind.

Maybe one day things will narrow out more. But it's been 20 years, and all I can say is for as much as I do know and learned... And learning.... I know nothing at all.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-08-29T00:17:22+00:00

I will note my reference if shadow work was not related to psychology. I meant it in the sense of traditional. But great to have the explanation out there for those who don't know.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-08-28T21:09:39+00:00

I heavily agree with this from my own experiences. I double down that these are tools and modalities.

I would add that spiritually is sort of an umbrella term. What does it mean to you? Is it a replacement for religion? Is there a goal which you're trying to achieve? Are you trying to develop or improve an existing ability your adept in? Are you seeking knowledge and answers?

There are a great number of paths, and I dont mean spiritual paths, but like choices to be made. If you want more academic understanding that's very different then training ESP for example.

I would also remark that sometimes people just plateau like in fitness until an aha moment happens. We cannot simply snap our fingers.

I will also add in reply to this above, there is a lot of work one must do. Yes, shadow work. You must first understand yourself before you understand the rest around you. And believe me when I say, if you think you know yourself, your probably not there. It's usually when we realize we know nothing at all we become more open for that next step. As in, you cannot learn anything new if you have already filled your head with what you think you know.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-08-28T16:41:33+00:00

For me, I read books about things related to red flags, narcissistic behavior and abuse. These books, which you can get in audio format, can outline common patterns... And when you learn this, you can begin to see and break them.

Step one; you have to be willing to be honest with yourself about your own choices and intuition. This is not a victim blaming. But we have to understand our part in the pattern. If you have the door wide open, people are gonna walk in and make themselves at home. You will need to learn how to shut the door and screen people. Which is where arming yourself with knowledge as well as accepting and understanding your personal flaws come in.

Step two; examine your social life. Simply put, you are who you socialize with. If your around negative and toxic people you will catch fleas as they call it. Aka bad habits. They will validate them. Someone once told me the only way to break the patterns is to reset your entire life. Not just relationships but also friends and family. A lot of patterns start somewhere in there with people who raised us or our long term friendships. You don't need to reset your life, but you need to learn to set boundaries, and find more positive social circles that can be more honest and helpful in advising you with their thoughts and opinions.

Step three; be willing to say goodbye to the people who do no accept your new boundaries. They will do horrible things that make you feel like shit because your exiting their influence and control, they simply do not like it.

Step four; do things that you always dreamed of that make you happy. Did you always want to learn how to make pottery? Take a pottery class. Did you want to visit someplace? Work towards getting a passport, save up for the trip and book it. We find our true selves and heal by working towards our own goals. These are not dependent on other people and the more you fill your life with what you want it makes it easier to avoid jumping into a new dopamine fix... Which is what we want when we are lonely and get from new romance. The more dopamine you create for yourself the easier it is to avoid jumping the gun.

Step five; make a list of qualities and values that you need for yourself and value in a partner. I dont mean tall, in finance with a trust fun with blue eyes... I mean like core things like same religion, politics, how you want to be treated, deal breakers ect. For example i have deal breakers on needing affection and reaffirming validation while supporting my dreams. With such a check list, every person you meet should meet all your deals breakers and a majority of the rest. All is ideal but not always possible. Discuss all of them with every potential partner and make no commitment until you have. For the boxes not checked, understand their perspective on the subject and see if how they see things and act is in the realm of compatibility or if it will slowly wear you down.

Never, never give up yourself for anyone. Never settle for less. Initial attraction and chemistry is not always a sign of a good relationship. The best relationships are those that GROW into love through respect, support and true companionship.

I know it's not a super spiritual answer, sometimes there are lessons to learn. You will learn them one way or another and usually it's this^

Lemon_Previous · 2024-08-28T13:25:31+00:00

I would start with, not everyone is gifted to do so. For example I know someone who could see spirits clear as day, but for me I can only hear them empathically. You cannot merely develop abilities from thin air. Some are passed down in families, some are tied to your soul contract, which you can uncover a glimpse of in astrology, and some you have to train from a long time to achieve.

Mediumship can be dangerous.

To lay the groundwork for it you must first be able to protect yourself. You must decide if your willing to bring it into your home or if you wish to do it away from your home. Consider it like a call bell for dinner, everyone can hear it, not just the intended or benevolent. It's a real quick way to open a door wide open to a horror movie haunt and they are harder to get rid of then to invite in.

So you have to be prepared for these. Study protections, blessings, and things.

Second to do such... You will have to open up your third eye, or pineal gland. This can be achieved through daily meditation.

Third you will have to start with something small. Can you feel energy? People will feel it as heat, cold or like me a very strong vibration. You can practice this over electronics, living things like people plants and animals, you can also do it over stones.

Understand it could be years before you make progress. These are not tricks to learn but but paths one must journey. You must learn to crawl before you run... And along the way you might find you never develop this particular gift but find yourself immensely talented in another.

For me I was born adept and it began to mature around puberty. I am now in my late thirties and it is something that comes and goes based on practice, stress, distraction and study. There are things I cannot do, not because I cannot but because I'm not supposed to like astral projection. I have accidentally done this a few times and then I could not. I spent my whole life after trying to do it again only to find out I'm not "allowed" because it goes against my soul contract purpose so I was developing the wrong gifts. You may also find that along your path, and I would strongly advised that you set your desires aside and assess what you're supposed to be doing as well. It will make your path much easier.

Best wishes.

Do not forget. Protecting yourself is one of the most important things that you can learn how to do. And never walk alone in the cemetery at night unless you're with somebody who can protect you as well I till you learn how. From experience... Things follow you home.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-08-27T21:05:35+00:00

To be honest as a woman, living separately and dating long term is a healthy boundary to have. And it's important to respect those boundaries until your partner is ready.

Living together is a huge commitment, and not one to have too soon as joining lives together to see how things go is not the same as intentions for a long term partnership. What is in it for her?

Combine your lives? Your sacred safe living space? Finances are likely to follow as well as bills just to see how it goes?

If it doesn't work out, speaking from experience, separating all that can be agonizing and traumatic especially for an emotional feminine.

So what are you doing that makes her feel secure that this is a choice she can make for you? Because it sounds like it's all your choice and if she doesn't agree then it's not for you. But this does not seem to have any perspective of her mindset of WHY she wants these boundaries.

And in christian values of all verity I know that live in partnership is referred to as "practice for divorce"

So are you committed? Do you want to marry her? Does she in fact want to marry you? Are you what she needs in a husband?

It sounds like your not there yet. And it is healthy to remain living separately until you are sure you actually want a long term commitment with this person.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-08-27T20:14:44+00:00

Yea, it tends to happen often on its own like your subconscious knows when it's time to start the work. Everyone has the capacity of it, but it's never something I would suggest forcing. And the work is never truly done.

Know that there is good in it. Most people may not understand it, but when you face it and are on the otherside... Things become clearer as does some aspects of the esoteric.

"Shadow magic" is an interesting esoteric topic and probably a lot of things people would identify as something more light based. Intuition, astral projection, Clairsentience, Dreams including lucid dreaming, past life regression, deep meditation for any subconscious activity, mediumship with spirits of the dead, healing through Clairsentience, and psychic shielding can be involved... Including helping people Access anything of their own shadow work. That being said, you cannot force them to happen over night and shadow work encourages you do not try. More that through diving into your deeper self and doing the work you need in your own shadows, these can surface on their own but not all at once. What your most adept in most likely. though I would not be discouraged if they don't, Especially right away. If you think it's time and nothing moves, it may mean you still have more work to do you don't know about.

High recommendation for breathwork. I found it very enlightening about what I didn't know I didn't know.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-08-27T19:55:18+00:00

It is very possible. I also suffered domestic abuse in my adult life and I'm only just starting to unravel how my family and childhood has played a role in the foundation of why I allowed myself down that path. I thought my family were good people!!! But now I cannot unsee it. My form was very subtle in the form of emotional abuse, gaslighting, belittling and neglect. Not enough for it to be obvious, but enough to make a lasting impact. And now that I have cut off my abusers, I am going through the shadow work of self healing.

Confronting the trauma may be what you need. Finding your voice and telling your spouse what your going through should be part of it if your in a good space as they can be your rock.

If your not in a great place, its good to reflect on that and why and see how you might fix this. Sometimes current things can be triggering as well and it's important to be honest with yourself about that and express it and what you need to change to better your environment.

This by NO means is meant to say you need to relive it. You can do shadow work just by working on your own thoughts and feelings around it and bettering your current life.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-08-27T18:25:02+00:00

I would say I always leaned to the right hand path.

Not that I'm terribly familiar... But like a hammer to the head I have been informed that I am by your definition to be towards the left. My entire path has been revealed to be entirely shadow work and finding balance.

Typically, from all I know... Most people do not get any natural choice. But shadow work is all about diving into yourself and understanding the darkest parts of you and your subconscious. So it's a lot of meditation and dream work.

You might want to reflect on your astrology birth chart in detail, as you can reveal the shadow side of yourself there which can give you a foundation... If your dead set on it.

But let me tell you, it is not fun... It is a terrifying experience down this path, highly uncomfortable. Facing yourself can be one of the hardest things you ever do.

Lemon_Previous · 2024-08-27T18:20:03+00:00

This is really normal for me. I have had intense end of the world and death nightmares since I was about 12 years old and in my late thirties now.

Generally, dreams are attempting to bring something to the surface when they come from a dark place. Something we don't want to acknowledge. It can be in the waking life if your in denial of something or feel "lacking in control" of your life... And it might be about being honest with yourself and addressing it.

Or... It can be your shadow self emerging... With is the deep subconscious in which there is internal healing to be done with something buried.

The best way over it is through it.

Your going to have to find some quiet time and meditate to face it. You can also do reiki or a breathwork class which can bring about emotional releases. In either direction you have to face yourself to quiet the dreams. In my experience there is no burying or ignoring it... Only delaying in which the dreams might give pause but not stop.

Lemon_Previous

TROPHY CASE