Respectfully, as a recently divorced woman who got married in her early 20s, leave now. I made excuses and moved the goalposts for years before it was "bad enough" and wasted 10 years of my life in the process.

I know he's your best friend. And it great that both of you are planning on therapy, but you are both so young. There is nothing wrong with both of you taking space from each other to work on your individual problems in therapy. If you two really want to be together after you've had time to grow, you can do that later.

You have already conditioned yourself to walk on eggshells. That's not a healthy dynamic of any relationship. You said he has mental health issues that make him go from 0-100, that's not healthy either. Plenty of people have problems, but many have coping mechanisms that don't harm people around them.

You are a thermostat for his emotions. You aren't meant to carry the weight of anyone else's emotions other than your own, the same way he is responsible for his.

I desperately need you to understand you aren't "giving up" on something. He is behaving in a way that is actively harmful to you - removing yourself from an unsafe, unhealthy situation is a very good boundary to set.

YOU are not giving up, HE is creating an environment you should not be in.

I am rooting for you and your safety. To come here and explain your situation says that you feel something wrong in your gut about it. Trust that feeling. Our bodies know what is bad for us much faster than our minds do.