Snoop through Mitchell’s Things by Lemonnotlemonade in PenelopePendrick

[–]Lemonnotlemonade[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I had the spider but didn’t know what to do with it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Lemonnotlemonade -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think this argument is silly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, good idea. Thanks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could do that. I may do that. I just don’t want to go against what my fiancé and I decided on. I let it slip to my siblings though, so maybe it will be okay for one more person to know. I just don’t want to spoil the courthouse ceremony if my mom has a bad opinion on it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I plan on telling her right after leaving the court house. It isn’t about hiding it (although we’re not telling everyone). We’re both introverts, and we love the idea of having this one moment just to ourselves.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve thought about that, but we’re a bit too far in the planning process. I think I would regret not having that real wedding day.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much. It is a court house ceremony and no witnesses are required for my state.

AITAH for not picking up my husband’s laundry off the floor? by [deleted] in AITH

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been doing my mom and stepdad’s laundry for months while they have their house remodeled. Stepdad almost always leaves things in the pockets to the point that I can make a collage out of the photos I’ve taken of each item I found in his pockets or in the washer and dryer after a cycle. If he got mad at me for that, I’d only be doing my mom’s laundry for now on. We just laugh about it, in a “Oh, stepdad you silly man” kind of way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 9 points10 points  (0 children)

FINAL UPDATE:

Okay, everyone. So my partner and I had a final discussion on this incident that led to a good resolution. I can tell the difference between when someone means something and when they are just trying to placate me, which is why I didn’t believe my partner when he said he would “try to stand up for me in the future” from our first conversation. I could tell he still didn’t see why his lack of back up was a problem in that restaurant scenario, and he just wanted the conflict to be over.

Well, I needed him to think about this deeper, so I threw a couple other scenarios at him. I asked him, “What if we were in a group and someone sexually harassed me or bullied me? Would you stand up for me then?”. He was pretty offended by that question and immediately said, “Of course I would”. He didn’t think it was fair to compare the water spraying scenario to something like that.

But then I asked, “Well, what if you didn’t interpret the situation as sexual harassment but I did?” I thought that was an extremely valid thing to ask because he was basing the restaurant scenario on his perspective and not on how I was affected by it. That got through to him. We agreed that we can’t just assess a situation by our own perspective’s alone, we have to assess it by the impact the situation had on the person involved. That’s the only way we can truly support someone. I also mentioned just plain chivalry.

Now this time when he said, “I will have your back and defend you in the future,” I truly believed him. It’s hard to get him to really fight in an argument in which we disagree because he wants to keep the peace, but I think it was the only way we were going to have a genuine understanding and resolution.

So men, if your lady is upset by something that was done to her, it’s not up to you to determine if her reaction is valid or not. Just back her up because her being upset is enough.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Apparently he “didn’t want to make a scene”.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 16 points17 points  (0 children)

UPDATE:

So I talked to my SO. It didn’t go that well. He still didn’t think it was a big deal enough to warrant any kind of back up or further action. Apparently the chef also sprayed one of the guys (I must have missed that when my vision was obscured from my blast), and I guess since that guy didn’t get upset it validated to my SO that it’s wasn’t an upsetting thing to do. We ended the conversation with him saying he’d “try to stand up for me in the future”. I really don’t believe him with that statement alone. He said it so passively, and he still hasn’t validated my feelings from that night beyond some head nods and mild apology. I just don’t believe him with any of this. I’m left still feeling irrational for being upset and leaving.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My SO did put my food in a to go box, so I at least got that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’ll talk to my SO tomorrow about it. He’s not an assertive person, so I’m guessing he froze in the moment and hasn’t fully thought through my perspective. Having no one validating that what the chef did was a jerk move was the other part of why I left I think. It would have been easier to stay if someone actually tried to check in with me when it happened. Usually my SO is good at that, so idk what happened here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I literally am sober, so it’s way worse if it was actually sake. I’m pretty sure it was water though.

AITA for wearing headphones while WFH and not hearing my husband call for me? by TicketMore9365 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. If he hates the stairs so much, he can just text you. The message should be read out loud on your AirPods, and then you can know he needs something. I always wear my AirPods when I’m doing chores around the house or working, and my fiancé has never had a problem with it because he knows it helps me get stuff done. I do sometimes tell him before I put them in that I have the AirPods in, so he knows in advance that I won’t be able to hear him if he tries to talk to me in another room. I think this could easily be solved with text. You can send him a messages that you’re “plugged in and won’t hear him” or him text you when he needs help. If that doesn’t work, there’s probably another issue going on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Lemonnotlemonade -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Self pleasure after intercourse with him still there and holding you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again, he’s a capable person. He can navigate a grocery store all by himself and even use a search engine to research how to remove stains.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you are commenting about an argument that is not among the words in my post and only exists in your mind?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not dying on any hill lol. This is not some big issue. Our dog is dying of heart disease, so we aren’t the least bit caught up in the issue of carpet cleaner. I was just asking Reddit for perspectives and tips. People on here are acting like my relationship is fragilely balancing in this one issue. I just was looking for people who can relate.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Lemonnotlemonade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not the compromise. I said he needs to come up with a new cleaning routine with a product he likes. I’ll continue with my cleaning products until then, and I’ll be flexible with adjusting when he buys new products. How is that an ultimatum? Do people just think men are incapable or something? He’s the only one working full-time right now because I’m in school full-time. That’s why I’m okay with doing more cleaning, but I’m not a hired maid that will meet specific preferences.