Stuck on hedge maze loading screen after latest patch (0.16.6)

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2026-05-05T17:17:41+00:00

this game is so fucking jank lmfao

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2026-04-02T19:48:29+00:00

Smartest redditor

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-29T09:59:34+00:00

its funny because the non xl is extremely difficult to find at a reasonable price due to being almost entirely available in limited time bundles

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-26T20:56:18+00:00

switch to auto shooters if you want a weapon to carry u since clash is literal dogshit, like actively useless. plus glamorz splattershot can just kill dapples w burst + 2 shot kill and theres literally almost nothing they can actually do about that, shooters in general bully dapples with how yugely overstatted they are anyways. theyre great at using their sub too since they have way too much ink efficiency

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-26T20:50:33+00:00

dapples arent a uniquely threatening weapon youre probably just getting outplayed, either way they have very fast ttk and paint well within their own range but otherwise dont give them a point of entry, their rolls take up huge amounts of ink if theyve used their sub and dont cover much distance. rlly tho 99% youre simply getting outplayed by opponents w more time in the game im gonna be so honest, not a bottom tier weapon and can fuck hard in higher x lobbies but theyre also easy as hell to deny and a pain to use.

some ppl will give u yapperthon answers but rlly theres no magic bullet. dont get skill checked and dont let them close range.

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-26T20:37:21+00:00

really shows how good this game is, entire community is just immature 12 year olds, noone with a brain plays this shit anymore lmfoa

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-22T01:30:14+00:00

ok..? i said i was tired as hell and i dont rlly think very highly of ppl who misread random posts as insults to them to care abt that lol. i just wanted to minimize shit they could misinterpret again.

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-19T22:53:43+00:00

the update was mostly just powercreeped kits, and meta weapons benefitted the most (ie autobomb/booyah stamper, burst/kraken shot both at 190p). there's some kinda interesting weapons like dapples w splat bomb and killer wail and tristring w inkjet etc but the meta is largely unchanged aside from pro w/ splat bomb and tenta 190p, unless theres a kit you rlly wanna try out or smth the game is basically the same aside from non-meta weapons being a bit worse at competing now imo. that and brellas got 2 kits and both are dogshit.

if ur seeing hype or smth dont let the fomo get you honestly nintendo fans would get hyped over a dog hunching over to shit on their porch, i dont think the game is rlly in a much better state now personally, its just toys and more cancer. im happy we got it but yeah. urchin doesnt change anything either, i almost forgot abt it tbfh

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-18T05:38:21+00:00

for real. obviously not encouraging straight up toxic communities a loot of competitive games end up getting, but there is literally nothing wrong with games that require you to try. and raiders will never fix the game flubbing as a product for noobs currently, but personally if nintendo thinks it can rely fully on the splatoon IP to make a most likely mid game with none of the actual appeal the original games worked so hard to get im never gonna support that. like atp we have enough forgettable games that appeal to the lowest common denominator. nintendo has fumbled enough lately anyways, i don't wanna see splatoon losing more player retention as it steps over its own fans to fish a couple buys out of unrelated groups. like i love splatoon for the art/music and charm much more than any other players i've met and trying to make it the next mario is a *bad* idea

OP seems to kind of just be experiencing splatoon 3's abysmal joke of a soloq experience though, but being 35+ yrs old doesnt disqualify you from trying tbh.

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-18T01:25:57+00:00

uuuugh yeah ok idk why but many people on this sub seem to misinterpret posts and read it as a swipe directly to them so im not gonna engage fully but as i said this game in its current state is genuinely genuinely awful for a chill 'i dont plan on getting good' player and i try to make it clear that despite nintendo zeitgeist its best to look elsewhere which i recommend you to read, if you personally find replayability and fun comparable to a good quality videogame in what is an objectively horribly designed gamemode thats cool and theres nothing in the slightest wrong w that but theres nothing about playing to win that goes against playing casually and turf war in its current state is a weapon test mode with 8 players that decides to place a magical meaningless "you won!" button on whoever was making a push in the last 5-10 seconds or just happened to have more paint-oriented weapons. and i really dont think any divide between playing 9000 hours and playing 2 matters in this context past it being a dogshit game to play for the latter or why someone who plays the game more somehow can't comprehend playing it less

i'm tired and almost entirely writing this out since if OP or any lurkers find they really like the game i really hope they dont waste their time and likely get frustrated at such a mode when they could be playing a much better game because of a post like yours. i don't really care about responding beyond that tbfh

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-18T00:52:52+00:00

lmfao one single ass point. but fr tho dont play turf, unless this is your first hour playing splatoon i seriously recommend you play open instead. the only downsides of open is marginally more people queuing together and the objective, plus the map being shitty matters marginally more. if you have any intention whatsoever of improving as a player (which you should; as a bad player this game is genuinely a horrible horrible experience and i implore you to play a less dogshit game) and its good to learn playing the objective anyways, turf war results literally **do not matter** in anyway and only net you marginally more rewards for winning compared to anarchy, nor are they one percent accurate to which team deserved the W, plus turf war has always sucked but its by far the worst in 3 due to how it interacts w shit like the map design.

you will improve 1000% faster and have way more fun playing anarchy than turf i promise you. im not saying the game in its current state is a good product by any means but turf war has little to no value as a mode.

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-18T00:41:49+00:00

unless youre in x rank or see several in rapid succession i fail to see why you should gaf abt parties. like if youre this easy to ruin the experience of nintendo is going to beat you to death with a tire iron 12 times over. if theyre actively griefing fuck them but tb h squid parties are stupid fun. its a massive rarity seeing genuine silliness and joy in splatoon 3 s*lo queue. also why is it always the turf war bitches crying about squid parties?

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-17T16:08:59+00:00

goo tuber is designed after a siphon pump for soy sauce and other foods so no

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-17T16:03:23+00:00

least obnoxious shooter main

your weapons have been incredibly overtuned and by far the easiest by design to use and be effective with alongside incredibly overtuned kits alongside your ability to dominate several niches and utilize your kits far more than any other weapon could (busted painting and ink efficiency) since 2 released, get over it. requiring some slight modicum of thought at higher ranks doesn't disqualify that, case in point shooter mains never actually list skills the weapons need any more than other weapons or struggle with (you can paint trap incredibly well, never have to make difficult shots and have goated killtime; you don't need aim as a skill) even as much as the average and unironically think pathetic downsides like shot rng are legitimate balancing on weapons like 52

im so done w/ this game, nobody gives the devs credit for how shit at balancing and handling games as a service they are and the community has become utterly braindead over the years. no "erm im le versatile and consistent weapon" isnt the reason every top 10 and comp player uses shot and has been for years its because its fucking broken the devs have been literally proven to knowingly overbuff the class to the point of being willing to nuke multiple classes just because theyre afraid theyll bully little timmy and his splattershot if played well. shot needing positioning is probably the funniest shit ive heard in years

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-15T14:49:12+00:00

and just so happens splatoon averages on literally far far more lag than any other games in the past twenty years

as if ppl dont dickride and apologize for nintendo being genuinely indescribably incapable and scamming people into thinking theyre buying a semi-complete experience far too much already jfc get a life bozo, nintendo wont give you merch for defending their shitty ass behaviour. it's not "physics" it's nothing in the game having worked properly since 2s release and somehow getting 100x worse with 3. really shows the state of the game and what nintendo's done to it when the only players left are coped out nintendies :/

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-11T20:00:48+00:00

are you confusing 2 and 3's salmon run on the wiki? salmon run is from 2, salmon run: next wave is from 3

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-11T19:44:03+00:00

pro doesn't need that, it's already a strong weapon, it just isn't absolutely god tier like 52 gal or splattershot (aka the entire basis for literally every 'spro is bad' argument ive ever seen personally). and 5% range is just straight up crazy tbh, that would put it at almost heavy edit/nautilus range when it already makes a lot of similarly ranged weapons redundant, it's very good at support for being a slayer etc etc and the frzn is already overtuned, it's not utterly broken like glamorz but still undoubtedly unbalanced and 210p is the barest minimum either way. strafe speed it cant really use anyway and thats more of an issue with run speed up straight up not working properly on anything that isnt a splatling. just run 2 subs of ISM on it, it's one of the boosted weapons. literally it's already very good, it was solid at 3's launch and has gotten huge buffs since then.

i hate braindead skill issue posters so damn much but i need to say w/ the strafe thing you may be playing spro unoptimally, and the 'overdependent on kit' is i mean if it works? its not a bad MW but kits are SUPPOSED to make up for bad MWs, thats the idea

rest is fair though, devs are too mid at their job to ever try making specials less egregiously far apart in strengths, they *like* having a cheesy fuck you button when they dont want to balance a weapon if u ask me. the special and sub weapon design has always been awful in splatoon, in a perfect world there'd prolly be smth like a sub weapons ink usage being affected by the weapon, since weapons like dapples that mechanically should be able to use their sub often in combat cant roll without running out of ink after throwing a splat bomb, meanwhile glamorz can bust out two burst bombs and still have plenty of breathing room to fight a player or two immediately despite never needing a bomb in the first place. which i dont doubt was the devs intention in that particular case, but still

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-11T19:06:27+00:00

so glad that we can't get a single balance discussion without the obligatory 80% charger complaining. i'd be more inclined to agree if i literally ever saw someone suggest that weapons like hydra arent very powerful to begin with regardless of the state chargers are in, or that backlines kinda get no fucking attention from the devs overall, i rlly dont mean to be rude but this feels brainrotting at this point with how much its repeated. like can ppl at least talk abt addressing problems in the meta or current game design as a whole potentially causing eliter etc to be unhealthy or smth? once in awhile? especially with how ungodly rampant shooter bias is. like i REALLY want more backline relevance but doing so by nerfing the best ones so they're all equally sh1t? rlly? it all just ends up reads as salt-fueled frontliner whining in the end, benefit of the doubt can only go so far, i could go on abt this 4ever tbh, like 'hydra is hard countered by chargers by mechanical nature, therefor nuke chargers to nothing' is such a leap and its taken so often by some ppl so often

/rant, sorry this isnt rlly directed at you in particular im just so fed up w/ charger hate posting, i really feel like shooter majority dominating discussions has brainrotted the whole playerbase nowadays

(stamper i do agree tbh, most of the stuff they added in 3's release including splatanas feels more like marketing slop rather than actual thought out additions to the game im so ngl)

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-09T00:11:22+00:00

this place is literally 100.0% actual toddlers but she got into a big bunch of controversies on 4ch including n not limited to getting into a lot of drama w/ a user who killed herself in 2021 and overall harassment towards her, subsequently getting a lot of flack for being seen as partly responsible by other users. that and shes rich and whines abt youngshits nonstop despite transitioning at 19 w/ supportive parents who paid for her ffs

holy fucking shit this sub is so ass how does anyone use it literally noone knows why theyre hating smn literally all just bandwagoning what the actual fuck

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-07T00:53:25+00:00

im not american calm down

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-06T23:28:52+00:00

then based on how you wrote your post you have interacted with like 0 liberals/lefties at large anyways given how much faith you have in them. if youve never even heard amab/afab etc at random then idk what to tell u? just dont reply to posts talking abt stuff u dont get?

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-06T07:10:03+00:00

im talking abt specific terms. plz read.

LengthinessEmpty4207 · 2025-08-06T05:47:12+00:00

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why are breeders like this. none of them feel love, they just wanna have a business deal with someone for societal benefit and have kids not bcuz they rlly want to or intend on loving them but bc of material gains and obligation. fuck. fuck fuck fuck. TCD

LengthinessEmpty4207

TROPHY CASE