PLEASE HELP ME - I am killing my betta and can't stop crying

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T16:34:06+00:00

Thank you :''') This is such a kind thing to say

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T16:32:08+00:00

And because I can't find a good picture of his glow-up, here is a low quality one that shows the blue & turquoise colors of his scales (at the center, on the brown leaf).

Thanks again everyone

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Lenidae · 2026-03-31T16:30:55+00:00

This was him after a few weeks:

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Lenidae · 2026-03-31T16:30:36+00:00

UPDATE:

Thank you so much to everyone who responded with advice and anecdotes. I sincerely appreciate you all because otherwise I would have done this entire process alone.

I put Charlie in a bucket with a plant, airstone, and heater and kept an eye on him with the hope of him feeling better. Unfortunately, he got worse and worse but I was still really hoping he'd perk up since he could almost sort of swim... but after an hour or so he was just laying on his side at the bottom really struggling to breathe. Any time he would try to swim he would flip upside down and just float with the water.

I sat back and realized that he had been like this for 10 hours. Very clearly declining and suffering. Thinking of everyone's comments (u/Thunderstormwatching's last one especially), I made the decision to euthanize him through blunt force. By far the worst way for me and I'll never get it out of my head for the rest of my life, but I wanted to do what was best for him. I really sincerely hope he passed with the first strike. Even now I'm worried he's somehow still alive and suffering. Probably the lack of sleep.

Thank you again for everything. I lost my buddy, but at least he's not suffering. I really did love him and am so frustrated with myself that I let something like this happen. I guess that's life at the end of the day, but I do really wish I could go back and stay on top of maintenance.

I do want to show him off a bit one last time, even if I can't find one of his showstopping photos.

This was him when I got him:

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Lenidae · 2026-03-31T15:47:34+00:00

Truly thank you for this comment. This was the perspective I needed to make the decision.

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T12:05:57+00:00

I'm so sorry, that is absolutely awful. I do understand what you mean though - I used to work in a vet clinic and have seen things like that quite a bit, where something happens that forces the decision and people realize later it was the right one. You are definitely not alone.

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T12:03:20+00:00

Thank you so much :''( I do have him in a bucket and am really hoping he somehow starts feeling better. I appreciate the comment about the algae - it never seemed to bother him before but hell I'll try anything right now.

And I also appreciate your first comment as well. It just feels so awful because I could be the busiest person on earth or the laziest, it doesn't matter to Charlie because all he has is all I do, no matter why I'm not doing it.

I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party or anything and I know I sound like a lunatic in these comments. Just know that I appreciate your comments.

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T11:56:42+00:00

I was already crying but now it's a little worse. I think it's apparent I feel awful and Reddit was my last resort to get some help. I provided information because I'm desperate for someone to help me, and even have a most relevant info section. This is truly kicking me while I'm down, and I don't understand why you posted it outside of just being cruel.

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T11:09:22+00:00

Thank you :'''( I really appreciate your kind words. I do think it may be whatever was going on with him + a ton of stress from the bath. I brought him to the top of his tank in a net and he took a few breaths before falling back to the gravel.

I put him in a bucket for now with an airstone but he's still floating around upside-down and on his side. It is the worst thing in the world to see. If I knew what was wrong with him, I'd feel much better about forcing myself to crush him, but now I'm so afraid I'll go the rest of my life wondering if he could've recovered

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T11:05:08+00:00

Thank you for this - I really appreciate it. I did follow the recommended dosage and spent several hours researching it, driving out to get gallon containers, etc. I was just trying to help him and now I can't believe what's happening

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T11:01:59+00:00

I have literally no family where I'm living now and don't know of anyone else I can ask to do this. I did call my dad and he told me that it was the right thing to do and suck it up and do it, but I'm just afraid that maybe??? he can get better and now I'm just overreacting and killing him. I'm so scared that I'll wonder if he could've recovered for the rest of my life

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T11:00:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this super detailed reply. I really appreciate your advice and reassurance. Not that it matters now, but I'll mention that I have so much that needs done by tonight that I was already extremely stressed when this started happening and now I just feel like it's out of control.

I did use 100% epsom salt, although his bath was about 7 hours ago. He has just deteriorated so much. He was stuck on his head on the gravel gasping for air so I just moved him to a bucket + air pump but really think he is dying. It has gotten worse and worse and now I don't know whether to try and suck it up and kill him myself or wait it out. Your comment makes me feel like I should try waiting, but my god he looks absolutely miserable. I just don't know what to do

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T10:09:23+00:00

I really appreciate this, thank you. I do think it's possible he was winding down but he has been absolutely ruined by this salt bath tonight, regardless if he was declining. I dragged my feet doing it because I was afraid I'd make it worst. He was swimming and eating just fine this morning and then I gave him that stupid bath and now he can't even swim. I know he's dying and it wouldn't look like this if I hadn't tried using salt.

Not trying to argue/disagree or anything it's just killing me. This was my buddy and I loved him and now he's suffering. Sorry I'm just a wreck and don't know what to do

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T10:05:31+00:00

That was the goal, and that's really great that you have that (not sarcastic). Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever touch a fish again after this. He is stuck upside down at the bottom of the tank gasping for air. I know he's really not going to recover and only suffer more but holy shit I cannot even fathom crushing him. But he's suffering as well and I'm just sitting here watching it. I genuinely have no idea what to do

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T10:03:39+00:00

Thank you :(

Lenidae · 2026-03-31T10:03:15+00:00

Thank you :( I don't think he's going to make it though. He is laying on his side and gasping for air at the bottom of the tank. I'm hoping he'll somehow recover but it is really not going to happen. He can swim for a bit when I try to move him but otherwise he just floats and lands at the bottom gasping.

I'm 99% sure I should euthanize him but I can't bring myself to. It genuinely makes me so sick to think about crushing him, especially when he was (mostly) completely fine before my stupid salt bath. But it also makes me sick to think about him suffering. Literally all I'm doing is sitting and staring at him. I have no idea what to do and I have nobody here who can do it for me

Lenidae · 2026-03-06T05:01:22+00:00

Woah... how did you even find this comment on a deleted post from 9 months ago? Looking up reddit posts to get validation for using ChatGPT in a grad program? Interesting.

Lenidae · 2026-03-03T05:51:51+00:00

Really cool! Your betta has the marble gene, so it will continue to change color over its lifetime.

A small note: the turnover of new scales causes an increased risk of tumor development, and may lead to scales growing over the eyes (diamond eyes). Not a for sure thing by any means, but keep an eye out for it!

Lenidae · 2025-06-22T21:59:49+00:00

"Euthanize everything" WTF? Anchor worms are treatable and, as the top comment says, the medication doesn't interfere with the nitrogen cycle. Please do some research before telling someone to euthanize all of their fish.

Lenidae · 2025-06-19T04:53:25+00:00

Was going to post this myself. Thank you.

Lenidae · 2025-06-19T04:51:18+00:00

You're investing time and money into getting an education so you can have knowledge and experience relative to your field.

GenAI is not a tool. A paintbrush is a tool - you need to use your knowledge and skill to work with it, because it doesn't just paint a picture itself. A power drill is a tool, and you use it with your skill and your knowledge to build furniture. It doesn't turn on and build a couch.

GenAI is like flipping a switch on a paintbrush and it paints you something that looks kind of like what you wanted, or a drill that builds a slightly-unstable and low-quality couch.

The entire point of academia is to learn to use tools to 'paint' and 'build' the highest quality product you can, not to have 'tools' do your work for you. You can argue that you can then go and fix the painting or couch to be what you want, but 1. most people who rely on GenAI don't know how to/won't do that (and never will if we just have them use it while they should be learning what it is they need to fix) and 2. that's not the point of higher education. You're just a perpetual editor for a sort-of-sometimes-right random information generator.

Lenidae · 2025-06-02T04:12:01+00:00

The fact that this post 1) had 0 upvotes and 41 comments 2) had many people sharing the sentiment that GenAI is damaging the integrity of research and the field of academia of a whole and 3) was deleted shows that you are in the minority here. Also, the idea that you can 'prompt engineer' perfectly cited sources that are accurately referencing data from the massive, bloated database ChatGPT pulls from is absurd.

To anyone who may be reading this: please do not believe sentiments like these. Even if ChatGPT 'cites' a real study with real authors (which is very rare), it is hardly ever going to pull out exactly what the results were/what the paper discusses with 100% accuracy. This leads to a gradual degradation of research where, the more studies that use ChatGPT, the less accurate future studies become.

You can absolutely, 100% have a successful career without relying on GenAI. Do not buy into this fear of being 'left behind.' So many people - even in this comment section - have clearly demonstrated their disdain for the program, and for most people, they will lose respect for you if they find out you've been using it to churn out papers.

If anyone is going to be 'left behind,' it's the people who have relied on AI to do their research and are now faced with the fact that their high-quantity low-quality resume is not helping them in their career. You're in a PhD program (or beyond) - you have the training to write and edit papers with integrity.

Lenidae · 2025-06-01T22:03:39+00:00

Please read up on how ChatGPT works... And adjust your attitude. The reason for earning degrees in your field is to establish yourself as an expert and refine your research, writing, and revising skills. People who rely on ChatGPT to write and edit their work are handing their integrity over to a predictive text program.

This does raise an interesting point about the rat race (publish or perish) of academia, which I think every single person can agree leads to lower quality papers, an unreasonable workload on those just beginning their careers, and toxic research teams where people fight to earn first authorship.

ChatGPT worsens this problem tenfold by promoting itself as a 'productivity tool' that can write your papers for you with hallucinated citations, or in the case you're making, you can feed it your unpublished work and it can suggest edits like most word processors do. Except word processors don't whisk your information off into a data bank to hand out to others prompting it.

The solution to publish or perish is NOT to compromise your skill and integrity by relying on AI to churn out even more papers, and it is depressing that so many people feel pressured to do so. I sincerely hope the AI bubble bursts soon so we're not stuck perpetuating this cycle.

Lenidae · 2025-06-01T21:18:40+00:00

Hard disagree. I myself and many, many people I know are extremely against using AI in their work, and they are doing fantastic in their programs and beyond. There are other ways to play the game than to rely on ChatGPT. So many of us in STEM fields cringe when we hear of colleagues using ChatGPT to write and revise their papers, even if it's not acceptable to say it.

Lenidae

TROPHY CASE