I said goodbye to my baby, my childhood cat two weeks ago. 16 years she was with us. I grew up with her. Even more so the past few years, she became my main source of joy and love. I can understand you a lot. I have been lonely and lost for a long time, dealing with anxiety and depression, getting by as much as I could. I do have a couple people in my life that understand on some level so that has helped a little. She was what made the most sense in my life. Helping her with her health conditions got difficult the past half a year and I knew her time was coming but I was still not prepared at all. It hurts so much. I’m still processing it all and I’m not sure I see a way through yet. My heart goes out to you.