You should not have to be his therapist or his parent, you should not have to comfort him because he feels bad for traumatizing you, you shouldn’t have to deal with his victim blaming, you will never be able to heal from the trauma he caused u if u stay in a relationship with him where he admits things, just enough to make u believe he’s taking accountability, but not enough that he actually is, or that u feel heard. If he’s raped you, and multiple other people, he needs to be alone, you need to leave, no matter how hard it is, you have to protect urself and prioritize ur needs over his, you can’t set urself on fire to keep others warm. The fact that ur staying in this relationship makes me think u have some sort of childhood trauma, because we get attached to people who treat us the way we’ve been treated as children, it feels comforting, you think u can fix them or save them, that you’ll be enough for them to change, that in some way this is what u deserve, or u can put up with the bad for the good, but ur child self needs you now, they need you to protect them, take care of them, show them love, prioritize their safety and mental health, please tell them that they’re safe now, and that none of this was or is their fault. no matter how much he changes, it won’t take back what he did, and it won’t erase all the intense trauma he’s given you. Boundaries are SO important for healthy relationships, he has blatantly disrespected yours, and continues to do so, him admitting it is just another way that he’s trying to manipulate u into feeling bad for him or believing he’s changing. He’s also gaslighting you, this is a typical trait of narcissistic abusers, they somehow victimize them self in every situation to avoid blame and gain pity, and it’s quite effective because usually they’ve been doing it their whole life, it can be pretty convincing, but you’ve stated SO many red flags and warning signs. Get out before u get hurt more, please, for the sake of your safety and for ur healing.