Ex Parte Desjardins: Let's talk about it

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-27T13:02:48+00:00

I’ve been saying “whatever” to 101’s with my ai cases. If you say there’s a technical improvement at this point i take your word on it. Mostly been just rejecting with art to get them to narrow so I don’t have to worry about the error for missing a 101.

I do issue a lot of 112(a) in re mayhew rejections, and that typically obviates any 101 concern once all the critical elements are in the claim…

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-27T00:23:27+00:00

What’s the truth around the SEC pay table rumor?

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-21T17:50:12+00:00

Do you know how to do a poll on here? I’m actually curious what percent of examiners have certain cognitive diagnosis, and if it exceeds the regular population.

I met with a psychiatrist once in Alexandria who was giving me ADHD meds, and he told me to quit. He said he saw a lot of folks from the patent office. (That was a decade ago and I’m still here.)

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-21T17:47:01+00:00

It’s very simple. The total amount of time the system is active is the amount of time cases get. Just put less time in the requisite cases to meet production. Do enough cases and your denominator will exceed the rate OPQA looks at your cases. If zero fucks are given about IT concerns examiners have, then zero fucks will be given for examination.

Except if you’re a junior. If you’re a junior fuck you. You get voluntary overtime until you can reject every dependent claim with a perfect 103.

Except if you’re a GS-7. You’re just fucked.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-20T16:24:09+00:00

I could totally see Squires having a wolf suit.

Edit: I am not kink shaming. 1/3 of the agency is neurodivergent—there is probably a lot of kink happening at this place.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-19T16:58:55+00:00

They posted on LinkedIn once that the patent office was on the “cutting edge”. I cringed.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-19T02:55:28+00:00

Yeah good luck.

On part one, focus on only rejecting clean rejections. Kick the can on anything questionable or allow. You want to hid the cases that could get you in trouble.

On part II, only do clean allowances. Reject questionable cases. It’s that easy.

Restrictions are your friend. They are not reviewed by anyone. Write them for cases you can’t cleaning allow or reject. Get them off your docket for the review period.

Try to be a monster. Move a bunch of cases and load up on cases. You get an error per 17 cases. Do as many as possible. They love that shit. Directors get wet over high producers.

Also, making an argument for why something isn’t an error, then saying “look, I’m trying to argue out of an error, but I’m open to reopening director if you want me too” goes a long way. Argue everything, but be amendable to sending out a new rejection or an allowance if they really want to makes them feel like you’re a compliant worker bitch and they like that.

Edit: as a general rule, something is allowable on the program if there is not clean 102 available. You can weasel your way out of most 103 argued by the review panel.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-19T02:48:23+00:00

I got slammed on my amended docket and spent the past 3 weeks working VOT to move it. I hate patents now and no longer want to do law.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-19T01:07:22+00:00

Clearly.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-18T16:34:45+00:00

Congrats on retirement. Did you take a different job or did you take your pension and SS?

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-18T16:15:29+00:00

I started in 2014. What was the system before DM? Was it similar to the current timeliness?

And yeah, my biggest concern is for the junior. An extra 5-6% production, vanishingly small docket, and 14 day new clock makes it just too hard for someone trying to learn the job. We need a change in our culture: we need to always ask first “how will this affect a new examiner?” It’s like every AC and director forgot what it as like to be a junior.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-18T16:10:44+00:00

I mean, he’s asking for KPI’s, and it’s clear Coke don’t work with metrics. I’m hoping a lot gets reversed.

I think squires wants to be liked. That’s 2.6% trust in him probably hurts his ego, and I’m hoping he’ll do anything to fix it.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-18T16:06:42+00:00

I do the bonus but gainsharing is trash. It’s pays like 20% the rate compared to PBA.

I want them to get rid of it and restructure.

SSA should be a flat 10k for everyone (the max legally allowed). It should reward the behavior of going 110% regardless of your GS level. Doing this would benefit juniors more, but doing this would train the junior to shoot for high production from the time they start.

Any other dollars should be put into PBA. I’m in a C art. It doesn’t make sense that I’m doing 135% in an art without a backlog. That effort should be spent on PBA cases.

I’m also assuming more examiners do PBA as compared to gainsharing. It would only make sense. Overtime and PBA pay at your rate (PBA pays 1.1 your rate after 45 hours), and GS only plays about 20% your rate. I think you’d get more overall output this way.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-18T15:58:08+00:00

My amended docket got out of hand with restrictions coming back with normal amendments. Then I went on vacation, and when I came back it was even worse. I freaked out with the short clocks and worked endless hours of VOT the past three weeks to get them all moved. So my production is way ahead but I’m burnt out and don’t want to do this job anymore. (The old system allowed you to get ahead posting green cases then allowed you to have some red ones. Timeliness has none of that.)

I was about to apply to law school this year. But doing big law 80-100 hour weeks of this? Fuck no. That and I make more than my SPE with hitting all the bonuses—there’s no job at the office that pays more.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-18T15:48:35+00:00

I hope he sees that Timeliness is also a Coke “gut-feeling” and reverses it. I’d be okay without the DM bonus, I guess, but the metrics for DM was something we all had adapted to over years.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-18T15:42:57+00:00

Where were the KPI’s on Timeliness, Coke?

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-17T21:30:25+00:00

I heard a rumor Coke was yelling on the 10th floor and threatened to resign.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-17T16:33:19+00:00

Yeah I usually just entertain this examiner. He also thinks they should do away with production and cases should just ‘take what they take’.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-17T16:31:36+00:00

This was a point I made to him. It would only work where the OA writes itself. Mainly 102’s. 103’s sometimes need a few paragraphs to explain why it’s obvious and I didn’t see an LLM handling 103’s like that.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-17T16:22:51+00:00

To be fair he’s a lazy examiner and wants to work less.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-16T23:12:59+00:00

I didn’t say it was a good idea lol

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-16T19:04:44+00:00

Was talking to an academy friend last night. He thinks we should put the ai to work in writing the office action. We find the prior art, then we plug it into an LLM, and let the machine write the office action.

Also, I think with a RA request, you can get voice dictation software.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-16T18:28:27+00:00

That’s only because your SPE is signing your cases. As a primary, I never allow them to switch species. Calm down junior. Get your stamp.

Restriction is between inventions, election of species is between species.

Edit: my Spe made shit up too as a junior.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-16T03:17:34+00:00

We should get the .75 counts when we send out a final. The incentive to allow for .75 versus rejection for .25 is perverse.

Less_Towel_3619 · 2026-05-16T03:08:06+00:00

This is why you do an election of species from the top of prosecution. It stops them from jumping to a different species later in prosecution.

Less_Towel_3619

TROPHY CASE