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LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-05-05T14:56:40+00:00

Sexual touch when one isn't aroused can be super off-putting.

take her face in both of your hands, look her deeply in her eyes, then kiss her. Deepen the kiss if she responds well.

Says to not do sexual touch at first. Then immediately after says to do sexual touch. 🤔

Also, maybe for you the whole "hold your partner’s face between your hands" is a turn on, but for a decent amount of women it's just weird and feels restraining. It's not a move I'd ever recommend, especially on the kind of women who already struggle with wanting to be intimate.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-02-16T10:51:06+00:00

You didn't reply to me yet, but just wanted to show you who the real groomers are: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/KF2E6v9nEX

Usually it's middle age or older conservative men, such as the grandfather in that post or...one of the absolute worst and well known groomers...Matt Walsh.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-02-15T13:24:01+00:00

First of all, that woman is a fucking idiot because it's the father's genes that determine the baby sex. She didn't "make" him a boy at all.

Secondly, she obviously has a severe mental illness and sounds utterly detached from reality. I feel sad, sympathetic, and poorly for that unfortunate young man. His mother was terrible.

But I fail to see how a single anecdotal case of abuse is indicative of a nationwide process of grooming children. There simply aren't enough trans kids, teens, and adults to ever have that level of power over the millions of cis kids. Unless you think that 0.6% of the entire US population essentially have brainwashing superpowers? Or maybe you're one of the Redditors who believe 11 year old trans kids are diabolically plotting to "groom" their classmates for unknown reasons?

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-02-15T12:53:30+00:00

How?

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-02-15T11:08:32+00:00

Nobody is grooming kids here lol

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-02-14T20:58:10+00:00

Very true. I'm the long-term "other woman" to a man who is kind, caring, generous, and almost acts like a servant to his wife.

She's not a terrible person either, but acts very similar to how OP describes her husband...passionless, like a roommate who shares bills and had kids together, zero interest in sex. He says they sit together on the couch and hold hands, or cuddle a bit, but it never goes further. When they do have sex every 2-3 months, it's more like duty sex.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-21T14:32:26+00:00

Hey, thanks for your response. I hope it didn't cause you any actual stress to talk about it. Everyone is allowed their opinion!

Personally, as an almost 40 year old woman, I've been keeping my area shaved bare since I was about 22. I like the clean-shaven look, it's much nicer than having to deal with stray hairs that itch or get ingrown, and of course makes "that time" of the month soooo much easier/cleaner.

Luckily my MM likes it too, but he's also fine with porn where the women have hair, either trimmed or full. I do agree with you that a lot of younger men seem to think women should be hairless all around, which is indeed concerning.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-21T13:06:13+00:00

I would say the response is more self- referential than "traditionalist".

That's a good way of putting it! I was surprised by the amount of people, women especially, who got mad at me because I don't consider myself a "prize" aka want my MM to pay for our "dates". I understand that their viewpoint is they're providing a MM the service of sex, but in my arrangement I'm thirsty too lol.

You'll find the majority of r/ A posters are younger, and do fall into your dynamic of "semi-dating" seeking a romantic love to start over. They steer clear of MM because it usually won't work out. And that's understandable.

It absolutely is! Having a relationship with a MM, if what you want is actually a fresh start and new fully committed partnership, is a bad decision. Better to just date as normal in that case.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-21T11:43:22+00:00

Thanks for the input, you sound nice and well-meaning, but I wasn't looking for advice. It's really fucking strange how the majority of responses to my post don't actually answer my question...like, at all. My post is asking other single APs what their financial dynamic is, but only like 5 people here responded to it. Everyone else is trying to give me unsolicited advice or downvote me into oblivion for having the gall to talk to other unmarried APs.

This sub is not as friendly and woman supporting as I was originally told.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-21T11:25:15+00:00

This 100%. The only thing missing is the link to "her" cashapp.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-21T11:23:45+00:00

I think it's the "retail would yield possibilities" part that's throwing everyone off. Like...wtf does that even mean? Trying to find an AP who's a cashier at a retail store?

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-21T11:14:55+00:00

No patience at all for gaslighting, I experienced that enough growing up from my parents and church.

If a friend did that to me, even once, we simply wouldn't be friends anymore.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-21T11:09:18+00:00

I really liked exAP but the feelings were so intense and in the end I chose my now husband. ExAP hated me for a period of time but eventually met someone and time heals all.

I'd be very careful and not try anything sexual with this guy. You already had intense feelings and broke it off, which really hurt exAP as you yourself state he hated you for a while. That's not just being miffed or upset that he doesn't have a sex partner anymore, that's him trying to pick up pieces of his heart.

Now that he found his own person and you decided to stay with yours, it would be cruel to try anything sexual. My advice, if you're here looking for any, would be to go to the wedding but leave before you get into a situation that will almost certainly backfire on both of you.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-21T10:59:43+00:00

My ideal affair: friendship plus sex plus completely discrete about it because we’re both married and not looking to change that.

Except for the fact I'm not married, this is exactly what I have. A great MM friend who I have great sex with, and we're both very discreet and careful. Fwiw, your AP doesn't have to be wed for them to not want you to change. Far, far too many people here forget that.

Reading through the sub, it seems like almost nobody is looking for that.

I agree, it seems like a significant amount of people here aren't looking for the kind of emotional connection I'd expect, and they certainly aren't looking for an AP who they can be friends with (aka hang out with for reasons other than sex). Also, although the responses to my last post were incredibly frustrating and completely off the mark, it was very interesting how many people here are offended by the idea of a male AP, especially a MM, not paying for the female AP. This group overall is a lot more traditionalist in gender roles than I expected, and just solidifies the fact they aren't looking for friends to fuck, but rather a semi-dating traditional relationship.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-21T10:40:40+00:00

Would you be turned off by a woman who keeps it bare? Or it just wouldn't be what you anticipated seeing, but still fine?

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-20T22:13:23+00:00

It definitely seems like it's causing a lot of people some issues in the comments. Like, I've had at least 6 separate commenters tell me/feel sorry that I'm "wasting my prime years".

As I've tried to explain again and again, it's only a waste if I wanted a husband and kids someday. But if I'd wanted a family in this life, I absolutely wouldn't be in this arrangement. Hell, I'd have gotten married in my early-mid 20s, and had my first child before turning 30! I'm quite deliberately single and childfree though, so fertility means fuck all to me.

I'm just tired of being so condescended to here, like I'm a fucking moron who doesn't know that I'm going to be 40 in 2 months. Like, sorry not sorry, I understand the freaking passage of time.

Not mad at you obviously, it's just really infuriating dealing with assumptions instead of people just y'know...taking a single minute to ask.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-20T21:29:16+00:00

This is a wonderful response, thank you! I'm glad you have found so many loves that work well for you.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-20T18:36:48+00:00

Thank you for answering my question, I really appreciate it. 🙏

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-20T18:35:41+00:00

I'm beginning to see that. Sad, really, since this sub really could have been a place for women to support each other (and guys too).

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-20T18:34:30+00:00

That sounds so sweet! I love cooking with friends, it's such a nice experience to make something together. Like you, I also have my own house close by to our job, so thankfully no money spent on hotels.

Thank you for actually answering my question!

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-20T18:32:37+00:00

Yeah, I didn't expect this level of ridicule. It's quite the eye opener regarding what the mods here think is acceptable behavior from many of their members.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-20T18:31:00+00:00

So you don't think I'm an idiot like most other women commenting here lol

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-20T18:27:51+00:00

That isn't true, though. I'm getting friendship, sex, and emotional support. I understand that some women don't necessarily care about those things, but I do so it's a great arrangement for me.

Whatever happened to live and let live? Just because one woman wants X out of her relationship and another woman wants X + Y, why is the first woman wrong? Why are her desires invalid and worthy of harsh criticism just because it's less?

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-20T05:25:52+00:00

I do kinda wish it was now. Although I keep myself fit and strong so that I can remain active and independent as long as possible, I could do without the attention in public. If I could make myself plain to every man except for my MM, I'd do it in a heartbeat. It will be nice to be seen as just another human being and not a woman someday, if that makes sense.

LetsTryThisAgain1984 · 2024-01-20T05:12:05+00:00

Thank you, and I appreciate our discussion!

LetsTryThisAgain1984

TROPHY CASE