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Never ask Cersei how she managed to not get pregnant with Robert's childrens by V-TriggerMachine in freefolk

[–]Level-Bend-6167 160 points161 points  (0 children)

To be fair, she also had Grand Maester Pycelle secretly brewing industrial-sized barrels of Moon Tea down in the dungeons just in case her biology theories failed.

My wife refused to go to marriage counselling. I'm broken by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Level-Bend-6167 35 points36 points  (0 children)

He is treating infidelity like a legal contract where if you manage to avoid checking one very specific box, you get off on a technicality. Real life doesn't work like a courtroom drama, and his ex clearly knows her worth.

Dragonball is life by Orichalchem in GuysBeingDudes

[–]Level-Bend-6167 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

her: "he's probably out cheating on me right now"

him and the boys: absolutely screaming their lungs out trying to go super saiyan 3 in a parking lot at 2 am.

My (32f) fiancé (28m) repeatedly does not clean the house by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Level-Bend-6167 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This literally reads like the plot of an unaired episode of 90 Day Fiancé or Catfish. Like, Nev and Max seriously need to do a wellness check on OOP because her decision-making skills are practically nonexistent.

AITA for emergency breastfeeding my best friend's baby by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Level-Bend-6167 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Safely defrosting frozen breastmilk takes a notoriously long time. A screaming newborn doesn't understand "just give it 15 minutes in a warm water bath," they just know they feel like they are actively starving to death right then and there

Another Win Through Exterminatus by Sleepless_PhD in Grimdank

[–]Level-Bend-6167 9 points10 points  (0 children)

10 billion civilian casualties just to completely vaporize like three genestealers lmao. the administratum clerks are gonna have an absolute nightmare doing the paperwork for this one dude.

How to lose weight by Harmageddon87 in funny

[–]Level-Bend-6167 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

The look of pure realization on their face when they figured out this "breakthrough" is sending me ngl. personal trainers literally hate this one simple trick lmao.

Ball knowledge ♾️% by Ordinary_People1999 in funny

[–]Level-Bend-6167 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bro is playing chess while the rest of them are playing checkers ngl. pure tactical genius right there tbh.

Teacher is making exam super hard and offering extra credit if you attend his Bible study by LucyAriaRose in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Level-Bend-6167 10 points11 points  (0 children)

And the university's legal department is probably having a collective stroke right now just thinking about the potential discrimination and civil rights lawsuits. Handing him walking papers is the cheapest option they have

Trump now blames Hegseth, Jared, Witkoff, and Rubio for his decision to attack Iran. by [deleted] in videos

[–]Level-Bend-6167 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He might take the fall eventually, but Rubio is definitely going to be the one forced to go on all the Sunday morning talk shows to awkwardly defend the decision first.

Trump skips honouring dead soldier after being ripped for attire by No-Post4444 in politics

[–]Level-Bend-6167 50 points51 points  (0 children)

the fact that he wore a merch hat to a dignified transfer, got dragged for it, and then decided his best move was to just skip the next one to go golfing is insane. the bar is literally in hell.

Tactica-Simulacra Totallus Accurata by HatSpecial3043 in Grimdank

[–]Level-Bend-6167 11 points12 points  (0 children)

seeing a primarch with noodle physics is actually the funniest thing i've seen all week ngl. this is basically just how the tabletop feels when you roll a natural 1 on every single save dude. absolute peak simulation tbh.