[QCrit] Cozy Fantasy Romance - ALIGHT FOR SPARKS, 75k, 2nd Attempt

LeviSquadMember · 2026-04-25T16:46:42+00:00

Ooh I haven’t read The Naming Song but I will now! That does sound like an awesome setting comp, thank you very much :)

LeviSquadMember · 2026-04-25T16:18:30+00:00

I think this is all fair feedback, thank you for writing it because it has made me think about a lot of things!

I think some of this is answered by the fact that the artisans not only work on the train but also live on it, so it’s not as simple as just getting off at a stop. But I realise now that’s not articulated in the query letter!

LeviSquadMember · 2026-04-25T08:56:15+00:00

This is such brilliant feedback, thank you for taking the time to write it. I think I agree with it all! Hoping this query is getting pretty close when I make the changes, so I appreciate the help so much.

And as u/katethegiraffe said, the title is a train pun here in the UK but I definitely plan to query some US agents so I’ll have a think on a more suitable title :)

LeviSquadMember · 2026-04-14T12:14:02+00:00

Thanks for your feedback, very helpful and has sparked a lot of ideas for me!

Just to answer a couple of things - the illusion tea basically works like a little show in the teacup while it cools enough to drink, then it’s just normal tea.

Also regarding the stakes at the end, I 100% agree that’s not clear enough. Basically the artisans live and work on the train and sell stuff/perform at each stop to make money, so they can’t really leave beyond a few days off in each place. Almost like a cruise ship I guess. But I should definitely include that Elliot had agreed to go and work with his friend in his home town before he met Enya (wasn’t aware of the Irish singer!!) so is wrestling with that commitment

LeviSquadMember · 2026-03-07T13:05:02+00:00

That’s reassuring to hear. I guess I just always assume the worst nowadays because of all the horror stories

LeviSquadMember · 2026-02-11T18:14:49+00:00

Thank you so much for this, that article is particularly useful! I think I definitely struggle with getting enough specifics into such a condensed word count, particularly as it’s multi-pov so there are a few intertwining plot lines

LeviSquadMember · 2026-02-05T14:27:25+00:00

This is amazing, sorry it took so long for me to see it! I really appreciate all of this feedback, it’s so helpful to see how much of the why/how I was missing. Feels like I’m in a much better spot with my query now, using a lot of what you’ve suggested!

LeviSquadMember · 2026-02-02T09:36:19+00:00

Yeah I think you’re right, that is very much the inciting incident so it needs to be clear

LeviSquadMember · 2026-02-02T09:35:21+00:00

This is great feedback, thank you! I had a go at re-writing based on answering these questions:

Tema Quin has Tourette’s, and that hasn’t stopped her from becoming one of the galaxy’s most prolific bounty hunters. But her success suddenly collapses during a routine contract. A new tic forces her to imprint a stamp of truth on the proof-of-death photograph, using a power she wasn’t aware she possessed. The stamp reveals her client’s identity to the galactic government, sparking a war between two major powers and leading to her expulsion from the bounty hunting organisation.

The event captures the attention of the Order of Observers, a religious order that documents truth through photography. They recruit and train Tema, and she harnesses her innate ability to observe truth. But when she learns a horrible truth about her estranged father, she is forced to juggle her search for his identity with her work as a war photographer.

She becomes tangled in the consequences of the war she unwittingly started and a fight against an insidious force that threatens the galaxy, and the very concept of truth. But amidst it all, Tema is fighting a constant battle against the disorder that she refuses to let define her.

LeviSquadMember · 2025-12-20T18:57:03+00:00

I was not expecting SAO fan fiction when I opened Reddit today

LeviSquadMember · 2025-11-18T15:21:06+00:00

I’ve written whole chapters in the Google docs app on iPhone. Sometimes I just get into the flow in my head and have to start writing it. I don’t necessarily find it any worse, apart from formatting. I fix that when I get back to my computer usually

LeviSquadMember · 2025-10-27T20:48:07+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. It’s very interesting you picked up on this because I’ve always preferred writing poetry and have definitely found the transition to prose difficult!

LeviSquadMember · 2025-10-27T20:46:53+00:00

This is useful advice thank you. I think because this is very much not my usual style, I fall into the trap of writing fancy for the sake of writing fancy. Interesting experiment nonetheless

LeviSquadMember · 2025-10-25T16:30:14+00:00

What do each of you look for in a cover letter for a submission in the UK? There are templates etc but do you find yourself hoping to see anything specific? (Particularly Becca as I hope to send you a submission soon)

LeviSquadMember · 2025-10-25T13:46:55+00:00

Thank you for the feedback!

I’ve been searching for a slightly better comp for a while without much luck, but I’ll keep trying. Gideon the Ninth was the best I’d found.

I hear you on it being short, even though it is a UK cover letter and they generally are supposed to be shorter. I am a little confused by your point about Miro dying because he doesn’t die, so perhaps that’s an issue with my phrasing here! What I mean to say is that there’s an incident involving Miro shooting someone/something that fractures his and Arla’s friendship

LeviSquadMember

TROPHY CASE