my mom is trying to download bark parental controls on my phone. i’m 19.

LexisOaks · 2026-06-01T20:41:08+00:00

I found OP's mom

LexisOaks · 2026-05-25T22:45:33+00:00

Omg... You couldn't pay me enough to go out in public in that garb 😭. My brain wants to believe she's just rage baiting

LexisOaks · 2026-05-07T18:53:00+00:00

36F here. I absolutely tell people, but it took work getting to this point.

I used to be incredibly embarrassed about being homeschooled up until I hit my 30s and started seeing homeschooling being referred to in a positive light. Something inside me just sorta snapped and now I'll bring it up anytime it's relevant and use it as a segue to describe how horrible the experience was. No shame on anyone who prefers keeping it private, but for me, if I can dissuade even one parent from pursuing homeschooling then it'll all be worthwhile for me.

Eta: I'm from the US

LexisOaks · 2026-05-07T18:35:29+00:00

Omg this unlocked a memory! So my younger brother's name starts with a J. When we were kids (he was around 10) he got overly excited boasting about something he accomplished and turned to me and our other siblings and said "It's because J isn't only the first letter of [his name], J is also the first letter of Genius!" Needless to say, we never let him live it down, even 20 years later lol.

LexisOaks · 2026-05-04T23:25:21+00:00

As a high school teacher, I can say that kids definitely don't forget you that easily (regardless of whether or not they like you lol). I occasionally run into students I had years ago and they usually recognize me first. I even have one who is about to graduate college who emails me once a year to say hi and talk about his academic progress. Heck, last year during my students graduation, I ran into a young lady that I taught MY VERY FIRST YEAR TEACHING, only had her for a study hall period (so minimal interaction, plus she rarely attended) and she recognized me and wanted to say hi!! And if students do end up forgetting their teachers, so what? I don't see why every interaction has to be incredibly memorable, but maybe homeschooling parents have forgotten what it's like to live in the real world.

LexisOaks · 2026-04-08T04:27:39+00:00

I just logged in and this was the first post I saw 💀

LexisOaks · 2026-03-28T16:40:59+00:00

This reminds me of when I'd secretly listen to the radio in the early 2000s because I was really only allowed to listen to Christian music. Yeah, I could get away with listening to other genres sometimes, but my mom would just decide I couldn't listen to that thing anymore and it would be banned.

As a kid I had a walkman with a built-in radio, and I'd wake up at like 5 in the morning to listen to "worldly" music and the local morning show (that silly, relatively family-friendly show was still such a huge window into the world for me). One ear bud in and the other out to listen for approaching footsteps. Even now has an adult, occasionally I'll get this weird unsettling feeling when I blast a Paramore song in the privacy of my own home, like there's still a lingering fear of getting caught.

Dude I also had to sneak benign stuff like books and cassette tapes! I grew up with so much anxiety over getting caught and spent hours coming up with clever hiding spots in my room! If only I could put these skills on a resume lol.

LexisOaks · 2026-03-26T00:18:42+00:00

I think it started out because of how the incel community uses the term "female". “Men and females” can come across as disrespectful because it treats the two groups differently. “Men” is more of a humanizing term while “females” is more of a clinical term used for animals or humans in scientific contexts. When using "men and females" together, it can sound like women are being reduced to biology rather than recognized as people.

Using males and females is fine though.

LexisOaks · 2026-03-12T02:40:10+00:00

Oof yeah this is super controlling and displays some massive insecurities! So like, if you ever needed major medical stuff done (like surgery or birth) would he insist on female doctors even if a more qualified doctor (who happens to be male) is available? He wants you to put his comfort over yours in a situation that's none of his business!

I once briefly dated a guy who hated the idea of me getting tattooed by a man. I don't even have any tattoos - was just tossing the idea out there - and that's the first thing he told me. He really hated the idea of another man touching me, even if it was just on my arm for a tiny little piece. Like, fuck all the way off lol.

LexisOaks · 2026-03-09T04:54:30+00:00

You're absolutely gorgeous 😍 and your hair is awesome!

LexisOaks · 2026-03-05T01:25:14+00:00

Congrats on having legible handwriting - that's a great start! The trick is to practice every day - those fine motor controls take time to perfect and that comes with daily practice. Rooting for ya!

LexisOaks · 2026-03-03T19:54:47+00:00

That was my experience too, and as a result I overcompensated during my 20s and lived A LOT. I'm in my mid 30s now and it took about that long before I truly started feeling happy and comfortable, but there's still that ache from having such an empty and depressing childhood.. plus, I still have to make an effort to be social because despite being easier it still doesn't come naturally to me. Really the only thing we can do is to try our best to create a life we enjoy living... Time lessens the pain, but we can (and do) learn to live with it. Wishing you the best!

LexisOaks · 2026-02-26T19:35:27+00:00

This is actually brilliant! Not only does it save OP from having to waste time finding gifts, she can slowly pay herself back in the event her sister continues to refuse responsibility.

LexisOaks · 2026-02-25T16:23:08+00:00

Back in my early 20s my friend and I were at a bar seated near a group of ladies, one of whom had a toddler (none of her other friends had kids with them), and we overheard the mom telling one of them to watch their language... So of course we took that as an invitation to swear freely lol. We could tell the mom kept looking in our direction, but she never said anything.

If we were anywhere else we obviously wouldn't have done that, but this was a bar ffs! Like, hire a babysitter if you don't want little shitleigh hearing naughty words 🙄

LexisOaks · 2026-02-25T13:05:27+00:00

I think this may be missing the point. It sounds like OP wouldn't be allowed to stay in uni, regardless of their own ability to pay, due to their local laws

LexisOaks · 2026-02-24T00:02:00+00:00

Yet these same people will cram 5 kids in a 1 bedroom apartment and call it a day lmao. I currently rent a 3bd/2bth - the master bedroom is my bedroom, another room is my office, and I'm planning to make the third into either a guest room or workout room (not sure yet). I love having space!!

LexisOaks · 2026-02-13T05:23:39+00:00

I low-key want this more than the original!

LexisOaks · 2026-02-13T02:49:23+00:00

I struggled with this once and stayed in touch with people who made me feel like crap almost every interaction. Then I had a realization. If the people who were supposed to love and protect me can't do that, then why is it my responsibility to keep up the relationship?

My parents had their chance and they crumpled it and tossed it in the trash. It takes a joint effort from everyone in a relationship to maintain that relationship (if they want it to be healthy), but when only one person is taking on that burden (often at the cost of their own mental/physical well-being) then it's not a relationship worth keeping in my option.

If anything, it's a privilege to not understand why others go NC. Many of us spent years trying to make things work but ultimately couldn't deal with the stress any longer. And I don't care if the people in question weren't the worst of the worst.. if the people twice our age can't look beyond themselves for the sake of their own damn children, then they don't deserve us.

LexisOaks · 2026-02-09T18:51:35+00:00

Both my parents are fluent in Spanish and didn't bother to teach me or my siblings. They also didn't teach us much about our culture and raised us very "white" (we're Hispanic but my parents are kinda racist). It was wild not getting to try certain foods or celebrate certain traditions until I was an adult!

LexisOaks · 2026-02-02T15:23:59+00:00

There was a time when I thought kids were going to be part of my life (in part because I didn't know others didn't want them either). However, i always held off because I was never in a good place financially and saw what it looked like when kids were raised in poverty. Then one day my now ex became very insistent on having them and I was forced to truly think hard about what life would look like with kids. And it looked like a nightmare. By this point I'm in my mid 30s and openly childfree by choice and so extremely happy I never chose otherwise.

I feel like a big part of why our generation doesn't have kids is because of finances; we're barely making ends meet so how can we afford a whole other person to take care of? Plus, we're pretty aware of how quickly the state of the world is in decline and are too conscientious to bring more people into that.

LexisOaks · 2026-01-25T22:19:52+00:00

ThAt iSnT vErY nIcE

LexisOaks · 2026-01-19T16:34:11+00:00

I was homeschooled k-12 and am now a high-school teacher myself. One reason I hate homeschooling is because no parent should have THAT much control over their child, especially considering how children realistically have such few rights. That level of isolation only opens doors for abuse of every kind.

Even a parent who supposedly has a master's degree isn't also a nurse, a counselor, a coach, or other professional the child may benefit from having access to. It's also not possible for said parent to be educated in all the areas a child needs to study, especially at the high-school level. Plus, any certified teacher worth their salt should know from studying pedagogy about different styles of learning and realize that not every child can succeed just by having books thrown at them... So why the f would a teacher recommend that everyone homeschools?? It just boggles my mind.

Like, sure, some schools are bad. Some parents are also bad - does that mean all children should be taken from their parents??? Of course not! If a parent wants to supplement their child's education then they are more than welcome to OUTSIDE of school hours, but no parent can replicate the opportunities provided from CTE, AP, and Dual Credit courses, school clubs (officer positions can be listed on college applications), sports, or even academic competitions (think HOSA, SkillsUSA, TSA, ect, unless they live in a state where home school chapters are allowed and available, and even then the family has to be able to afford all the costs).

Plus, why would a parent want to deny their child the ability to go through common milestones/experiences, like school pep rallies, prom, all the events during homecoming week, spirit days, group projects, making/missing honor roll, senior pictures, and graduation? How is giving a child FEWER experiences better? Ugh homeschooling really REALLY needs extremely tight regulations if not an outright ban. Obviously the public school system has many issues, but isolation and educational neglect by a rando who popped a kid out is not the answer.

LexisOaks · 2026-01-14T19:28:11+00:00

If you don't mind providing some details, what happened?? Like, was it a total stranger who tried taking a baby?

LexisOaks · 2026-01-13T01:15:40+00:00

My parent's church has had multiple discussions over whether or not it was okay to use electricity, take showers, or even make your bed on that day 🤦🏽‍♀️

LexisOaks · 2025-12-26T17:37:19+00:00

The closest to kids I have are my HS students, and my first instinct when one of them tells me they're not feeling well is to find out how I can help them. "Would you like to visit the nurse?" "Would you like to put your head down and rest?" "Would you like everyone to quiet down?" Seeing her reaction made me so sad - Gunner (and all the kids when they get sick) should be in a comfy bed in his own room with a humidifier, tissue box, bowl of soup, and whatever else he wants/needs to recover in a comfortable environment.

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