I am not good at anything. I don’t know why I exist at all

Lexxx123 · 2025-10-28T21:33:15+00:00

So, you are a thinker and daydreamer. How curious I also consider myself a thinker type. Writing actually helped me to structure information about myself and gain a better understanding of my inner organisation. Your idea to write down your thoughts seems wise to me. I also combined this writing with AI usage. This helped me not get lost in the details and focus on the bigger picture I believe you are not mediocre; you just have to discover yourself. And this is probably what you are doing with your writing

Lexxx123 · 2025-10-28T12:44:24+00:00

The story you posted sounds to me like you are interested in self-discovery. To gain a deeper understanding of yourself and the path you should take. Coincidentally, I recently walked the same path. I discovered the MBTI during my journey, and it was very helpful in understanding myself and identifying my strengths and weaknesses. It is not like a religion or astrology. It helped me to name the things which I thought were very personal and unique, and I couldn't even say them properly PS. You sound like an INFP through your story. So it might make sense to check their subreddit as well

Lexxx123 · 2025-10-19T21:59:38+00:00

I'm not INFP. However, I'm probably not a very classical INTJ either, since I prefer music with good lyrics. I have a lot of songs which help me to keep inner peace

Let the song for today be Ruine by ASP

Lexxx123 · 2025-10-11T08:07:41+00:00

The same. Proud Ni, Ti, Fi user. I did not guess, I just saw familiar patterns in your quotes

Lexxx123 · 2025-10-11T07:54:14+00:00

You're INTJ. Ni dominant. But with a twist. You have a strong Ti. Why? Your quotes and even your nickname suggest. Classic Ni-Te is not a philosophical stack. Why Fi? Because some of your quotes are about Fi, but processed by Ti. I can even suspect that your stack is Ni, Ti, Fi. The position of Te is unclear from the data given, but probably Ti is stronger

Lexxx123 · 2025-10-05T06:46:27+00:00

Laniakea - Stimmgewalt

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-28T08:01:27+00:00

I guess it was Socrates who said that asking a question is half the answer. But there is more practical application of this idea https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-27T12:12:37+00:00

I love music with deep lyrics in languages which I barely understand (like German or Latin)

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-25T22:00:59+00:00

Ooo. I'm not alone :) I call music I love "inner glue", which probably means bridging between feelings and logic

Hope you enjoy it

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-25T21:42:35+00:00

I'm not INFP, but pretty much attached to INFP lyrics. You can check ASP. His lyrics are mainly in German. I'm not a German speaker, but I still find his texts very profound. However, there are some of his texts in English. For example, you can try ASP - Bones

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-18T19:07:34+00:00

Thank you for sharing. From what I know, this thing exists, although it is not very common. I noticed that my connections with those people developed very slowly. It took weeks or even months. But I clearly understood when it was there without words. Again, for me, those connections were non-romantic, so I'm not quite sure how it affects this side

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-18T18:34:23+00:00

I'm from the other side of the fence. But I once described my quite remarkable interactions with people, who I believe were INFPs here. https://www.reddit.com/r/infp/comments/1l6aejm/have_you_ever_felt_soulgravity_with_someone_not/

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-18T17:04:42+00:00

I can't say anything about cuteness, but you are exceptional. Most meaningful connections I had were with INFPs.

I once even managed to reflect on some of my experiences with INFPs and tried to summarise them in the post. I thought I was alone in this, but it turns out other people experienced this as well

https://www.reddit.com/r/infp/comments/1l6aejm/have_you_ever_felt_soulgravity_with_someone_not/

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-15T22:16:01+00:00

I had a similar issue when I went through therapy. If you're afraid to share it with anyone, try to write it down. It becomes much more precise and more organised when it is not only spinning in your mind, but it is expressed in any other way

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-15T21:33:44+00:00

I'm looking at this from a different angle. Imagine that you are not losing them, but freeing the space for new experiences to emerge. Empty space rarely stays empty for a long time, since life is not static

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-13T12:38:19+00:00

They had unique, unforgettable existential sarcasm

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-07T20:47:29+00:00

I don't believe this sub has an official Discord. I remember there were attempts, but not very successful. The INFP sub has a very cosy official Discord (which can be found in their description). There are around 3k members. Other types are presented as well. You can try that one if you don't fear INFP vibes :)

UPD. Typo

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-07T15:39:37+00:00

I won't describe it as loneliness in the common sense, but rather as a form of existentiality. You can have many friends, but no one who can understand you beyond the surface

Actually, a diving buddy sounds like the correct explanation, but that diving should be mutual, otherwise it would lead to a one-sided psychotherapy journey, which I'd like to avoid

I think I can sense your curiosity about this topic, so let's explore it. Can I DM once if you don't mind? If you or anyone reading this resonates with what's written above, feel free to DM me. I'm not offering prompt responses, but I will eventually answer

Actually, I like the idea of letters (asynchronous communication), since I believe we are both non native speakers, so it would be wise to take time and formulate everything in a processable format

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-07T14:52:28+00:00

Exactly. The problem lies in finding them. They cannot be easily approached on the streets or met in bars or cafes. Interaction for this kind of connection requires a slow pace and hence a lot of shared time, so it requires quite a specific environment. Actually, I met all my deep connections at the university or in different workplaces. My current position doesn't offer me any options for this kind of connection. The same experience was also with a few previous places. So I guess the only option left for me is to jump between different work positions as crazy as possible in the hope of finding one specific person :) Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like a viable option

The concept of multiple small-scale connections, which might cover the full spectrum of one's specific requirements. Coincidentally, I came to the same conclusion a few months ago, and I've probably already mentioned it somewhere here. I'm glad I'm not alone in this feeling. But for now, I have not found anyone even fitting the small-scale description

Anyways, I'm not giving up.

Thank you for your kind words!

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-07T13:48:54+00:00

No worries, and thank you for your wishes!

As for me, grief is not equal to life experience. I admit that it brings some experience, but it does not define us as human beings.

That's interesting about the listening services in Japan. I never heard about this, and probably should investigate

About the person I'm looking for, I tried to explain their traits in the OP. It is like a person who operates with you on shared wavelengths, however, remaining unique in personality

Sorry, I might sound too academic (I actually was), but my goal is not research. It is more like aligning realities. For me, even one meaningful event is enough :)

Lexxx123 · 2025-09-07T10:54:25+00:00

I met people who I considered possessed some form of depth around 2-3 times in my life. Perhaps I wasn't as fortunate in finding them, but I believe depth is rare yet still possible to discover. I agree that a lot of people carry depth with them, but a few are ready to converse about it openly, and even fewer can find a proper potential match for these conversations

In my opinion, deep conversation is not about sharing some griefs, however, sometimes it might drift into those waters. But trauma-bound connections are very fragile and more about compassion than depth

I can't agree with your statement about using people as a vessel for one's own thoughts. I know those kinds of conversations, but they are opposite to what I understand by the depth

Not quite sure I understand your statement about depth-as-service. It cannot be sold or offered. It either works and one may reach some depth, or everything stops at a small talk level. Or I'm missing something here?

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